Dinozzo925 Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Hey all, I'll make this as short as I can. I had a fiancee, she cheated on me with my best friend, I found out, I two timed her and another girl for a week or so before just jetting with the new girl (payback is a bitch). My ex walks in on me with her and then gets a boyfriend herself. We slept with each other once while in our new lives (she stuck with the one guy, I jump around then settled again on the new girl), and had a couple strings of meet ups/conversations with no payoff. I've always been the one to cut off communication (she is always trying to "stay friends"). Last night, though, at a college party she approached me. I had the new girl looking gorgeous and in a fantastic dress so…yeah I was showing her off a little to friends. We danced, she gets some more attention and then I leave to use the bathroom. As I'm coming out my ex walks right up to my face and says "Can we dance or would that make your little date mad?". I didn't say anything and walked past her towards the porch but bumped into the guy she is seeing. I said "hey, go take care of your girlfriend", he says "she's all yours" I respond "I don't want her" and walk away. As I'm leaving the party, though, the ex texts me "i'm surprised you didn't dance me with me". I point out her date being at the party, she tells me they broke up two weeks ago. I say I'm going to walk downtown and home, goodnight, she says night…I call her on my way up to ask if she wanted to meet up to smoke, didn't pick up. The next morning she apologized for passing out, I said I wanted to meet with her after she gets out of work, she said she would…then asked to push it back. I said we can talk on the phone, she tells me that she split with the last guy for someone she is interested in in town. I asked her why she approached me and she laughed and said she was just being "drunk and snarky" making some bitchy comments about my date…how "couple-y" we looked. She tried to start small talk but then quickly said she had to close up shop. She said "talk to you later then?" and I said no, lets go back to the way things were before, she said ok and hung up. I texted her after saying sorry, I wasn't clear and being an *******…she apologized for cutting me off saying that her boss had just walked into the store. I said no worries hit me up on your way back, she said she would. It's midnight and she obviously hasn't. I cannot get a reading on her at all. She doesn't seem to want me back but she's still jealous of the new girl. She goes out of her way to open lines of communication, but says it's just to be "friends". She ostensibly shoves in my face that she split with her previous bf…just to mention having a new one? I want to turn her back my way…I'm planning on splitting with the girl I've been seeing anyway and my ex would be a nice distraction for a while, but I can't get a serious enough read on her to come up with a game plan. If she likes me I'll take some risks to turn this into a couple fun nights, if she's just using me for her ego I need to distance myself from her (we go to a small school and she's picked up a toxic rep) and also cut off any validation she gets from me. This split has pretty much nuked my game, I don't want to just shut her out because I'm still interested…but I can't run game on her because she'll feed off the validation.
David87 Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 You're interested and she's not. Let it be and move on. What was te point to tell you she broke up with her bf and that she wants a new one. You don't need this, start NC.
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Is this all it really is to you - ? A 'Game'? Don't be so immature. Simply go No Contact, as advised, and quit trying to be so manipulative. Leave her to her own devices. Don't 'care' about what she does, just be Mindful of how you behave. It should be 'beyond reproach'.
Thegreatestthing Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 (edited) I don't know what to tell you but you acted so well,definitely piked her interest too but I don't think it will stick because I know a little while ago I lost interest in this guy, had rejected him, I was not feeling much for him but Everytime,absolutely everytime he starts dating or just looking for a new girl I get so very very upset and want him. Then as soon as he starts liking me again I'm not interested. It doesn't happen with other guys,just him ,so I say just forgot her ,she seems confused and when you're truly in love or confident of that love there isn't that confusion. And she cheated on you,there isn't really much more to say after that. Edited April 7, 2014 by Thegreatestthing
lofi_tokyo Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 I'm "jealous" of my ex's new girlfriend in some ways - him and I shared a lot of happy memories together, and it makes me a little jealous to think he'll likely share many happy memories with her, and perhaps be much happier with her. That being said, I left him because we were not good together, and I have zero (absolutely no) interest in returning to my ex. I don't think her being jealous is an indication of her wanting you back. She could very well not want to date but be friends. It's up to you to decide whether or not friendship is what you are comfortable with.
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