stillafool Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Starla maybe you should take a break from guys for a while. Didn't you just get hurt or rejected by a guy last week? There's nothing wrong with being alone and reflecting for a while. 1
Author starla33 Posted April 7, 2014 Author Posted April 7, 2014 Starla maybe you should take a break from guys for a while. Didn't you just get hurt or rejected by a guy last week? There's nothing wrong with being alone and reflecting for a while. No. That one is still around
Fondue Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 You left him at four in the morning and texted him ten hours later. Maybe he needs time to think, to sleep, eat, shower, whatever. You caught him off guard and wanted him to have date planned? Give the poor guy time to think. He answered you, and politely at that. Chill. This is the best answer in this thread. Seriously, chill out. It's only 5 friggin words. You're interpreting WAYYYY too much. You do not know the following: A) His texting style. Does he even text? Is that a medium of communication that he uses? B) Is he busy? Maybe work? Other activities? Can't really get involved with his phone right now. C) Perhaps he's tired, out of it, sick, or simply doesn't want to be bothered today. Hell, he could have caught a stomach bug at that party and is in the ****ter all day. Maybe he simply wants to be polite and get back to you tomorrow. Etc. Too many variables for someone you just met. Give it time; stop freaking out. You've probably already made a full 180, from "this guy is awesome" to "this guy is a jerk" without anything meaningful!
oz-missy Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 If you've already worked out the day you're free why don't you initiate conversation asking if he's still cool to catch up? Seriously why the freak out and immediate worst case scenario thoughts?
Author starla33 Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 If you've already worked out the day you're free why don't you initiate conversation asking if he's still cool to catch up? Seriously why the freak out and immediate worst case scenario thoughts? If I asked him out at this point isn't that being desperate and chasing after him? I have already told him IN PERSON and ON TEXT that i was looking forward to seeing him again. Would think the ball is in his court.
oz-missy Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 If you want to see this guy what have you got to lose? Either he is going to be keen so either you contacting him or him contacting you will ensure you will catch up and all will be good.....or he won't organise something or respond to you organising something because he isn't in to you. If a guy is in to you, no matter who initiates contact/date plans it he will be there on a date. If a guy isn't that in to you, again no matter who initiates contact/date plans he won't be keen on going.
Author starla33 Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 If you want to see this guy what have you got to lose? Either he is going to be keen so either you contacting him or him contacting you will ensure you will catch up and all will be good.....or he won't organise something or respond to you organising something because he isn't in to you. If a guy is in to you, no matter who initiates contact/date plans it he will be there on a date. If a guy isn't that in to you, again no matter who initiates contact/date plans he won't be keen on going. I'm not sure I agree with this. I've had a lot of guys who I had to keep asking out and yeah they would go out with me, but I didn't feel like they were that interested.
oz-missy Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I'm not sure I agree with this. I've had a lot of guys who I had to keep asking out and yeah they would go out with me, but I didn't feel like they were that interested. What I'm trying to say is if the guy is keen nothing will dissuade him from seeing a girl.
nescafe1982 Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 First, I'll join the chorus of folks saying that it's only a text. If he hasn't shown other signs of a blow off, maybe you're just taking this too seriously. But second, I will add (because i haven't seen the point raised yet) that the surest sign of a player is a man who rushes through the early-dating stages in a single meeting. You meet him, he takes up your whole night until 4 AM? He says all the right things, dangles a potential date in the future? My guess is he was trying to rush you through to some kind of false sense of intimacy so he could sleep with you that night. And if he DOES indeed, blow you off for the date.. chances are, it's because he was only dangling the idea to further his ends: getting a one night stand that didn't wind up happening. 1
Leigh 87 Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Sometimes guys can spend all night talking to you, tell you how amazing you are the ENTIRE night, and tell you that they want to see you again.. And actually SEE YOU again, when they are not truly into you OR where they are into you to begin with yet hey change their minds. THIS HAPPENED TO ME ^^^^ I have had guys who either pretended to be into me for sex or who genuinely WERE super into be to begin with, yet changed their minds rather quickly. I have had the EXACT same thing happen, Starla - a few guys have taken a KEEN interest in me for "the night":sick: only to lose interest. Some men just changed their minds; others are sociopaths with no empathy or consideration for YOUR feelings, and they happily lie to girls and PRETEND that are "into you" to get sex. This guy didn't owe you anything but the decent thing to do is to not act super interested in a person who you are not actually into, just to get sex from them. If he is not texting or calling you, chances are he changed his mind or was never that excited about you to begin with. Maybe he was bored at the party and enjoyed your company? The facts remain; he is not acting into you NOW so forget him and stop thinking of him. 1
Author starla33 Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 Sometimes guys can spend all night talking to you, tell you how amazing you are the ENTIRE night, and tell you that they want to see you again.. And actually SEE YOU again, when they are not truly into you OR where they are into you to begin with yet hey change their minds. THIS HAPPENED TO ME ^^^^ I have had guys who either pretended to be into me for sex or who genuinely WERE super into be to begin with, yet changed their minds rather quickly. I have had the EXACT same thing happen, Starla - a few guys have taken a KEEN interest in me for "the night":sick: only to lose interest. Some men just changed their minds; others are sociopaths with no empathy or consideration for YOUR feelings, and they happily lie to girls and PRETEND that are "into you" to get sex. This guy didn't owe you anything but the decent thing to do is to not act super interested in a person who you are not actually into, just to get sex from them. If he is not texting or calling you, chances are he changed his mind or was never that excited about you to begin with. Maybe he was bored at the party and enjoyed your company? The facts remain; he is not acting into you NOW so forget him and stop thinking of him. Yeah I don't get why everyone else is saying I'm reading too much into it lol. This is exactly it. Night wasted ugh
xxoo Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Yeah I don't get why everyone else is saying I'm reading too much into it lol. This is exactly it. Night wasted ugh Why was your night wasted?
Chocolat Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 OP, I agree that the text was not suggestive of a future get together. All you can do at this point is 1. Contact him again and explicitly ask whether your plans are on or 2. Wait to see if he initiates contact with you. Personally, I would do #2. I would also not put too much stock into words from a stranger, i.e., guy you have just met at a party. 4
Thomas the Red Fox Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 So did it work out? He ever appear? I think you need to take the intensity down a few levels, though, with all due respect. 2
nescafe1982 Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I have had the EXACT same thing happen, Starla - a few guys have taken a KEEN interest in me for "the night":sick: only to lose interest. This is classic one night stand behavior. They lose interest after being red-hot for a night because they didn't get what they wanted. Ladies, one bit of advice if you're trying to meet men in a nightlife setting: the fish who jumps right up into the boat and makes a hail-mary pass at you, acts too intimate, or focuses his whole night on getting you excited? He's NOT trying to date anyone. Men who are genuinely looking to meet a woman for a dating type of scenario don't become clingy and desperate as the night progresses. If you're at a bar, and a dude becomes more persistent as closing time approaches? HUGE red flag.... unless you're into the ONS thing... in which case, carry on. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Will it's not exactly an I'm interested in going out with you response Omg... Relaaaaaax. You remind me of my friend who overanalyzes things guys tell her to a crazy degree.
Author starla33 Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 So did it work out? He ever appear? I think you need to take the intensity down a few levels, though, with all due respect. Um no I've not heard anything from him.
Author starla33 Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 Why was your night wasted? Because there were plenty of other guys I could have talked to, but this one seemed really nice and interested at the time
Valen Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Um no I've not heard anything from him. He must of read this thread and book it.
Author starla33 Posted April 8, 2014 Author Posted April 8, 2014 He must of read this thread and book it. Haha funny. No I was just right on with what I thought would happen
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