Not sure about anything anymore

[pink_sugar]

I feel so alone right now. I cannot count on or trust my husband or my family...they've hurt me so much and made me cry today. I wonder what I did to be treated so badly. My husband just adds to it...basically told me his ring means nothing to him. I told him if he is that unhappy being together that he can walk away, but I feel he's purposely staying because he has nowhere else to go. I don't know what to do any more. I grew up in an abusive household, so it seems like everyone in my life takes advantage of me. He doesn't surprise me or do anything nice for me on my birthday, vday or etc.

[Eivuwan]

I am sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, because you grew up in an abusive family, you probably ended up picking someone who can't offer you love because that is what you are used to. Have you considered going to therapy? It's not worth it to stay with someone who doesn't want you. There are actually people out there who can actually treat you right.

[Els]

Many many hugs, pink. I know that the past few years have been tough for you. Hang in there.

 

If you genuinely feel your husband is only staying with you because he has 'nowhere else to go', what is preventing you from being the one to file? Perhaps pamper yourself a bit today, rest and recover, give yourself a few days to think about what you want to do, and then decide if you genuinely feel your marriage is worth saving or not?

[Ninjainpajamas]

If he's said that his ring means nothing to him then he is checked out of the marriage and you shouldn't expect his fidelity or commitment to the marriage, that's a very telling sign that I'm not sure what you're thinking...you think he's just kidding or it's some kind of joke?

 

Women tend to delay mentally the signs and meanings of things directly, they tend to elude to the fact of what is really going on and happening, kind of living in this fog and uncertainty of what to do, think or say...or if you can "fix this" (whatever that means).

 

You should take what he says as literal, but realize that men are rational and will be careful of pulling the trigger without a plan or escape lever to pull on, especially if there is a financial limitation or lack of ability or place to go.

 

But you shouldn't wait around for him to do it, he'll do it when it is most convenient for him to leave, like he has somewhere or someone else to go to...and by then you'll finally get it through your head that this is really happening, and then just curl into a ball or do whatever it is you usually do when under pressure and stress.

 

You need to try and take some control over your life and not let other people determine when or how things are going to happen, if you're always waiting on someone else then of course you're the one that's going to get left out in the cold, you've got to watch out for you and think what is in their your best interest because that's what other people are doing for themselves.

 

This world isn't what people make it out to be, people are selfish and operate on that level...it's just merely a matter of perception that some people tell themselves they are more or less so, even you have your own agenda here that is selfish, after all if you were both being selfless wouldn't you both be making different decisions? thinking in a different light? don't use the "woe is me" as an excuse to ignore your own responsibility in this, stop being a victim.