avoforastig Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Met a girl Thursday evening at a bar. Set up a brunch date for Sunday. She flakes about an hour before the date, stating she isn't feeling well and wants to reschedule to the following week via text. My instincts tell me this is a waste of time. This type of thing usually irritates me significantly. I don't have a problem getting rejected but I do have a problem with someone screwing up my weekend schedule. Is anyone actually sincere when saying they are cancelling due to not feeling well? Should I even offer to reschedule? Should I try to call her midway through the week? Would it be inappropriate to confront her probable lack of interest to prevent schedule wasting?
KatZee Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 ..... Looking way too far into it buddy. She's not feeling well. She called you ahead of time and stated she wanted to reschedule. Leave it at that. She didn't stand you up, didn't NOT contact you, didn't NOT ask to get together another time. If this had been the 3rd time she's done it, I'd say she's a flake. Right now? No.
Author avoforastig Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 ..... Looking way too far into it buddy. She's not feeling well. She called you ahead of time and stated she wanted to reschedule. Leave it at that. She didn't stand you up, didn't NOT contact you, didn't NOT ask to get together another time. If this had been the 3rd time she's done it, I'd say she's a flake. Right now? No. KatZee, are you a man or woman? This just stinks a bit a bull****. A generic I'm not feeling well. For me, a last minute cancellation has never led to a reschedule. There is no real need for this in my opinion. Its not hard to be upfront, why waste people's time?
Author avoforastig Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 females will schedule two at once and then get fake sick to one of them. I like this idea. I agreed to "reschedule" but I will certainly double book if possible.
Author avoforastig Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 Let me ask this, had I set the date up via a call instead of text do you think the results may have differed?
HappyLove Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Leave the ball in her court. She's the one who flaked on you. Do not contact her, if she is truly interested in meeting up she will contact you. For now, move on.
Author avoforastig Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 Leave the ball in her court. She's the one who flaked on you. Do not contact her, if she is truly interested in meeting up she will contact you. For now, move on. I rescheduled for next week per her request, but obviously my confidence is low. Has anyone ever had a last minute flake turn into a legit reschedule? Ill actively seek other plans though.
bubbaganoosh Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 If she had to cancel the date, then the polite way to do this would be a phone call rather than a text. If it's a phone call, at least you can here her voice and have a talk with her but a text? Hell, she could be doing anything and drop a text in a minuet and be gone. It's just to impersonal and bad manners. To me, it's not real sincere. 2
HappyLove Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I rescheduled for next week per her request, but obviously my confidence is low. Has anyone ever had a last minute flake turn into a legit reschedule? Ill actively seek other plans though. Yes, a guy flaked on me last minute through text. I thought it was very weak of him not to at least call. So I never contacted him again. About two weeks later be called to ask me out, I gave him a second chance. He eventually went poof out of nowhere flaked big time never heard from again! I regret giving him that second chance and dating him. 'People show you who they are the first time. Believe them' ~ Dr Maya Angelou About a month after his disappearance he texted me with some crap about how he's thinking about me. Needless to say I NEVER spoke to him again. Flakes show their true colors ver early.
J21 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I rescheduled for next week per her request, but obviously my confidence is low. Has anyone ever had a last minute flake turn into a legit reschedule? Ill actively seek other plans though. You should've let her do the rescheduling. She flaked on you, so the burden is on her to take the initiative and reschedule. (Assuming it was a legit reason and she's interested.) 1
Author avoforastig Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 You should've let her do the rescheduling. She flaked on you, so the burden is on her to take the initiative and reschedule. (Assuming it was a legit reason and she's interested.) She said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to reschedule for the following Saturday or Sunday, so I just picked a time convenient for me. No effort was put forth on my end.
topaMAXX Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 you met a girl at a bar on thursday night... should have struck while the iron was hot and gone home with her that night. chances are you would have had brunch with her today Not necessarily. Girls certainly can and do flake after sex. However, OP would feel much better about the situation if he had sex with her already. So it's never a bad thing. Though, if the girl puts out too early, that's a whole other set of problems (if one is seeking a long term relationship).
Fondue Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Well, it seems like you already rescheduled with her... So anything we say isn't going to affect you in anyway. Despite that, I'll say this: If this ever happens again, with anyone, the best solution is not to get upset or angry, but simply say, "cool." And leave it at that. Don't reschedule, don't tell her it's "okay," don't ask her how she is doing or tell her that you hope she feels better. Just acknowledge that it's cancelled and move on with your life. Let her do the heavy lifting then on. You don't even have to suggest that you should meet another time. Let her do everything. I think this should actually go for both MEN and WOMEN. Just reverse the genders. Also, now that you rescheduled, for a WEEK ahead, what the hell are you gonna do? You have to keep her interest, right? Or maybe she doesn't have any interest and expects your flame to die out before next week comes. It's pretty silly of you to arrange something that far in advance without a meaningful way to keep each other interested.
Kamila Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Just reschedule. She didn't feel well and contacted you about it. She seemed sincere.
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