Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I just told a guy that I didn't want to continue with him... And I have another guy I met online who I have put on back burner He lives 3 hours away and I was supposed to be in his town for work a few weeks ago. But I had to cancel our dinner because work got busy. The following weekend I wanted to meet him but I couldn't make the drive. Then he asked me if I would come meet him this weekend. I said yes. We've only talked once via phone. All else is texting. He is gorgeous. Seems like a good guy. But I don't feel like driving 3 hours to meet him tomorrow. I would have lunch and turn around and come right bCk. 6 hrs in one day. He's never offered to come to me. Am I a total loser for canceling? Should I just go and meet? We have mutual friends so I don't want him to hate me for being a flake.
HappyLove Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 A real man worth your time would be coming to see you. Don't waste your time. 1
Keenly Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 A real man worth your time would be coming to see you. Don't waste your time. A real woman worth your time would be coming to see you. It works both ways. 5
almond Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Cancelling at the last minute because you can't be bothered is quite rude in my opinion, especially since you've had to cancel the last two as well. I would suggest giving him a call, and telling him that you'd love to meet but you're feeling pretty fatigued. Ask him to meet you somewhere for lunch half way - the drive will be much more manageable this way. If he refuses, then you're not cancelling for nothing - he's not willing to put in equal effort, so declining to meet would be fair based on his failure to compromise. From now on, try your hardest to only make plans that you can fully commit to - don't overextend yourself. No one likes a flake - it's very frustrating. 5
HappyLove Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 A real woman worth your time would be coming to see you. It works both ways. Very true with the WEAK ASS MEN nowadays, they want the woman to court them.
RonaldS Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Very true with the WEAK ASS MEN nowadays, they want the woman to court them. Ummmmm....hahaha. Nope. More like, some men have options and don't feel like being bent over by self-entitled princesses*. The OP admits she's already cancelled twice. If some girl expects me to make a 6 hr round trip when she's already cancelled twice, she can screw herself. (*OP, not calling you a self-entitled princess. More of a generalization in response to the quoted post) 2
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 Well, I know he has his sons this weekend so leaving to drive Half way is prob out of question. It's just he's never even offered to come meet me. Just not sure what is appropriate.
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 The other issue thAt makes me not want to make the drive.. Since making the date... I noticed he is on the online dating site a lot. He doesn't text me often and today when we made plans for tomorrow ... He said. Okay see you at xyz address tomorrow at 1. I said okay thanks. He didn't respond. And it's supposed to be raining... Just seems most guys want to see how I am etc...
RonaldS Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 How many men will you drive by from your driveway to where you're meeting him? This is the question we should ask ourselves when we start talking to somebody who lives 3 hours away. 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I just told a guy that I didn't want to continue with him... And I have another guy I met online who I have put on back burner He lives 3 hours away and I was supposed to be in his town for work a few weeks ago. But I had to cancel our dinner because work got busy. The following weekend I wanted to meet him but I couldn't make the drive. Then he asked me if I would come meet him this weekend. I said yes. We've only talked once via phone. All else is texting. He is gorgeous. Seems like a good guy. But I don't feel like driving 3 hours to meet him tomorrow. I would have lunch and turn around and come right bCk. 6 hrs in one day. He's never offered to come to me. Am I a total loser for canceling? Should I just go and meet? We have mutual friends so I don't want him to hate me for being a flake. Can't you meet half way? It's only fair. I don't see why either of you should be doing all that travel for 1 date and then returning home.
Iguanna Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 When your instinct is giving you a bad feeling, just follow it. If a guy would drive for 3 hours and 3 back in one day only to see me, I'd be super appreciative and let him know that with every effort I could make. He just takes you for granted, if you come fine, if not fine again. I can't be arsed to care for a man who doesn't consider me special and doesn't appreciate my effort. Next.
confidencestands Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Meet halfway or cancel like you usually do. Then spend the time thinking if you are actually ready to date.
Gaeta Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Why do you make contact with men living this far away? It's difficult to organize one meeting imagine how difficult it would be to date. Also, if ever you 2 make it through dating then what? you'd move there? A man with a child is not going to move to you. As for this man here, apologize and tell him you realize it's impossible to date someone 3 hours away. 1
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 Well I agree and understand. I asked him flat out if he thought we clicked.. If he thought it was possible to have relationship. He said yes because he loves MY city and wants to visit MY city a lot over the summer. The prob with asking him to meet half way today is that I know he has his sons. I can't get away for long. Should I just go? I'm just feeling weird about it. We have only talked by phone once.
mammasita Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 A real woman worth your time would be coming to see you. It works both ways. BLAH Very true with the WEAK ASS MEN nowadays, they want the woman to court them. AND BLAH WTF happened to meeting 1/2 way? 3
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 I haven't Asked him flat out to meet half way because he has his sons today. I know that would to be ideal ... As a parent. So I guess I'll just go. My fear is that he isn't texting me or calling me a lot. I've asked him if I'm his type? He says yes absolutely and he's very excited to meet. Just a lot of mixed messages for a 6 hr total trip.
mammasita Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I haven't Asked him flat out to meet half way because he has his sons today. I know that would to be ideal ... As a parent. So I guess I'll just go. My fear is that he isn't texting me or calling me a lot. I've asked him if I'm his type? He says yes absolutely and he's very excited to meet. Just a lot of mixed messages for a 6 hr total trip. Why don't you reschedule for a day when you can meet 1/2 way? That's a huge round trip for a quick meet. 2
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I think rescheduling for a day you can meet halfway would be a good idea IF you hadn't already canceled twice on him. 3 hours is simply too far for me, especially where children and schedules are involved. My guy lives an hour and a half away and we struggle sometimes with not seeing each other enough due to the distance, work, and kids, so something you should consider.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Why don't you reschedule for a day when you can meet 1/2 way? That's a huge round trip for a quick meet. That's exactly what I was thinking. It's not fair for you to be doing the running around after him and vice versa Btw is this the guy you posted a thread about yesterday?
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 It is huge round trip. But I feel bad since I cancelled twice before. I was in his town for work and I just couldn't get away from my work. He said he understood. It was because he only had a small window. I guess I'll just bite the bullet and go today. And no this isn't the same guy from yesterday. I ended it with him.
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 (edited) Well the worst part is the fact that is have to drive in fog and thunder storms. I think I'm going to ask to meet half way another day. Just seems too dangerous and pretty unfair for me to go in that weather... I texted him and told him weather roads were bad and he just texted back and said "oh no. Drive safe!" Really? Edited April 6, 2014 by Mommame2
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 A real woman worth your time would be coming to see you. It works both ways. No, a real man would OFFER to make the long drive, but at least suggest meeting half-way. 2
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 I texted him and told him weather roads were bad and he just texted back and said "oh no. Drive safe!" Really?
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Well the worst part is the fact that is have to drive in fog and thunder storms. I think I'm going to ask to meet half way another day. Just seems too dangerous and pretty unfair for me to go in that weather... I texted him and told him weather roads were bad and he just texted back and said "oh no. Drive safe!" Really? He probably thinks your already on the road. I wouldn't drive three hours for a date ever. Hell I only traveled 3 hours to my exs because he moved with work while we were together and I loved him. Definitely ask for mid way another day. If he doesn't agree then he's not really putting in enough effort sadly. 1
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 No I said "I'm about to get on the road and just saw the roads are pretty bad and there's an accident backing up traffic... Is it raining there yet ? " His response was "oh no. Drive safe!"
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