somedude81 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Do guys who act like jerks, or the nice guys in your example actually exist? Or are you just being extreme to show the difference?
Valen Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Let me try to give you (& some other guys) examples of how a nice guy (N), a jerk (J) & a confident guy © would react in situations. We'll use the OPs example of the girl asking him to pick up something from the store on his way over: N: OK. What brand should I get? Do you need 2? Do you want me to leave now, instead of 2 hours from now when I planned on coming by? You know I'll get you flowers while I'm there. J: Get it yourself B^%# What am I your delivery service. C: OK but I'm gonna get this other brand instead because I like that better. See you in two hours. Another example, the girl wants to go out to dinner or see a movie: N: Sure. Whatever you want. Why don't we do both. Of course I'll pay & yes, I absolutely want to see Chick Flick Marathon. I thought you'd love it. J: Nah. I wanted to sit home on the couch while you massage my feet as I watch another banal sports event you don't care about. C: OK I want to see Mystery Thriller. Does that work for you? The girl wants to the guy to tag along to girls night out: N: Sure. Maybe I can paint your toe nails while you sip champagne. J: Are you f'ing kidding me? Do I look like a pu$$y to you? Pick me up a 6 pack on your way home & you better have made me dinner before you leave. C: Tell you what . . . . I'll round up the guys & go out with them. Have a good time. Call me if you need a ride home. Does that help you understand the differences? You don't have to bow down to somebody else's every whim but there is no need to be rude either. Actually that's not how jerks operate, they say the same thing as the confident guy in your example. But the main difference between jerks and confident men is how they react when they get irritated or angry. Jerks will act immature and start yelling. Confident men will respond like an adult. That's why girls dates jerks, they confuse them for confident men. Also why girls prefer jerks over nice guys. Jerks are much closer to the men they want.
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Once again, we have yet another thread where the OP over generalizes and paints ALL women with the same paint brush! Perhaps abandoning this jaded and erroneous thinking MIGHT help. I mean, seriously. I am in full agreement with many posters that dating in your 20's can feel more like walking through a minefield than anything else. Twenties are the years where we stretch out our legs and explore ourselves, where we make bad decisions (and hopefully) learn from them, where being self-centered seems to be more normal than not, where relationships act more like experiments if only to figure out the difference between what we think we want and what we really want. It's just a weird stage in life for everyone, men are no different! At the same time, there are countless exceptions to the rule/norm. I know it probably doesn't seem like it if all your encountering are the same type of girl but trust me, there are. I think a lot of it starts with YOU! Honestly. I think OhThatGirl made some really good points to consider. I also think it would REALLY help if you tried harder not to throw the baby out with the bathwater as they say. Don't be afraid to be discerning and remain steadfast in what you want and believe in and you will find success. And if not, perhaps you might consider dating older women
Kamila Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Women want a mix of a nice guy/bad guy. They want someone that keeps them a bit out of their comfort zone. The push/pull works magic... Too nice is not good, too jerky also not...
WP4046 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Actually that's not how jerks operate, they say the same thing as the confident guy in your example. But the main difference between jerks and confident men is how they react when they get irritated or angry. Jerks will act immature and start yelling. Confident men will respond like an adult. That's why girls dates jerks, they confuse them for confident men. Also why girls prefer jerks over nice guys. Jerks are much closer to the men they want. Is that why when I called a girl retarded the other day she seemed to be turned on by it?
WP4046 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I can't deliver all that. That's why I always hated dating
WP4046 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 If I said the same thing the result won't be the same. and why is that?
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