corixo Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Still no text from the guy who I hooked up with a week ago from Sunday. It's really bothering me!! Hes not just any guy either... for those of you who've never read my previous post. Hes been a friend for 3 years. I always just seen him as a friend, was never attracted to him in that way. He was my ex boyfriends bestfriend, and one of my friends ex boyfrirnd of 5 years. Him and ex are no longer bestfriends, they grew apart but he has still remained in my life. Well, we'd always hang out. Get drunk together, have fun. Went back to his place a few times. Slept in his bed but we've never done anything. I did somewhere, somehow start to have feelings for him.. we had sex last week after hanging out all day and had too many drinks.. we talked a bunch. I told him I had feelings for him he said the same back.. but we both agreed that nothing could ever happen between us. So im not gonna hook up with him ever again. I wont be the booty call or friends with benefits. but its hurting me he hasnt sent a text after that night. I know I could but im soo stubborn. I even got really drunk and went out lastnight and didn't text! Surprised. Usually I'd text if I were drunk lol.. I been posting a few good pictures of myself, still nothing. Im all over social media.. so he sees me popping up.. no text? He posted a picture today on instagram of him and this girl I know and captioned "my little angel". That pissed me off so much. Its like he doesn't even care. How can someone I completely trusted and been friends with for so long make me feel as if im invisible. We had a great time together that night. He kissed me in the morning before he went to work, we cuddled and talked all night. Even someome you had a hook up with that literally was just a hook up and nothing more, means nothing to you and you mean nothing to him- would send a text. Im sad anyone have any advice
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I did somewhere, somehow start to have feelings for him.. we had sex last week after hanging out all day and had too many drinks.. we talked a bunch. I told him I had feelings for him he said the same back.. but we both agreed that nothing could ever happen between us. So im not gonna hook up with him ever again. I wont be the booty call or friends with benefits. I think this may be the problem. You need to provide a bit more info about this conversation and how you got to this decision. Then maybe we can all chime in with some appropriate advice.
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Guys (most not all) are your friend because A. they would like to get in your pants sometime or another, or B. they have feelings for you and hope someday you will fall for them, or C both. Hun the truth is, this guy got what he wanted and didn't get what he wanted. He can't be friends with you anymore, he has moved on. 1
Author corixo Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 Guys (most not all) are your friend because A. they would like to get in your pants sometime or another, or B. they have feelings for you and hope someday you will fall for them, or C both. Hun the truth is, this guy got what he wanted and didn't get what he wanted. He can't be friends with you anymore, he has moved on. I know him though. He never does that. If he sleeps with a girl he doesnt ignore her afterwards. Ive witnessed this guys behavior for years
theediblewoman Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If he is a good friend then call him out on his lameness. Just say something like "Hey you, I know we both agreed the other night was a one time thing,but this radio silence is making me feel a little weird. I could really use a chat with my FRIEND". It sounds like you just feel like crap because you have feelings for him and maybe you wanted a little more effort from him. Honestly if he's your friend I would expect a bit more respect from him than just being ignored or complete silence on his part,but by not saying anything yourself you kind of make it seem ok. A lot of people will tell you to just cut your losses and go no contact, but I don't think there's anything wrong with telling someone in a direct way "hey I think what you did is pretty lame, it made the situation unnecessarily awkward" and then going no contact. Sometimes you just need to say what's on your mind and stop with the fb photo postings! It really won't do much to help you and it's a waste of your energy. 2
Author corixo Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 I want to say those things to him so bad.. I know that as soon as I see him or talk to him things will be normal between us but I just dont want to be the first one to make the move! I feel vulnerable as hell and I have no clue whether he is wondering why I haven't text him. Maybe hes waiting for me to do it first. . Or maybe he doesn't care at all which hurts me. & im afraid thats what will be the result. He only had sex for like 2 minutes and we stopped.. cause of mother nature lol which is so embaressing. He wanted to continue though but I said no. And the picture he put up today captioned "my little angel" of him and another girl. He knows I would see that so either he reaaaallly doesn't care or trying to take a dig at me. Cause he knows I get jealous over other girls with him lol
TAV Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 My guess is he is fretting as much as you are. Can't you trust someone with all this and use that person as a 'spy'? Your situation seems torturous. Are you sure you do not want to be with him? I understand the whole 'we should not be together' thing but what if he is the one you are supposed to be with? All is fair in love and war...
theediblewoman Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I want to say those things to him so bad.. I know that as soon as I see him or talk to him things will be normal between us but I just dont want to be the first one to make the move! I feel vulnerable as hell and I have no clue whether he is wondering why I haven't text him. Maybe hes waiting for me to do it first. . Or maybe he doesn't care at all which hurts me. & im afraid thats what will be the result. He only had sex for like 2 minutes and we stopped.. cause of mother nature lol which is so embaressing. He wanted to continue though but I said no. And the picture he put up today captioned "my little angel" of him and another girl. He knows I would see that so either he reaaaallly doesn't care or trying to take a dig at me. Cause he knows I get jealous over other girls with him lol Yeah, I get it, you feel vulnerable and probably insecure,but that's not going to change if you don't say anything, you'll still feel crappy. If you say something and it doesn't end up how you like at least you'll have the benefit of having expressed yourself and setting your boundaries. What I've learned from dating/friendships and just life in general is that it's a lot easier to get what you want if you ask for it. What do you want right now? My guess; to feel respected and appreciated in your friendship. What does this mean? Addressing what happened between you two and then carrying on being friends if possible. If he doesn't care to speak to you when you reach out you end up in same situation as if you kept your mouth shut; only you'll know where you stand. It's not a fun type of situation to be in but you'll be in it longer if you keep being stubborn and insecure. Time to stand tall and ask for what ya want! Yo got this girl 1
BDL Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 As a guy, if I'm in that situation, I'd be confused and going crazy as well. He hasn't texted you because he is probably waiting for you to text first. It's probably driving him crazy too. 1
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 God dammit!!!! Just text the guy yourself!!! You are a big girl now I'm sure you can do that. If your waiting for him you'll be waiting a good long while. Gah I hate this "wait for him to message first" tosh 1
Thegreatestthing Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 This is why I'd never show my boobs or anything else to some guy who doesn't love or care about me ,only someone I'm in a relationship with who I know loves me. It's really a special thing,casual sex ,hook up whatever it's called it's ...I don't know..... I'm sure you didn't mean for this to happen don't be upset with yourself,you liked him and was attracted to him and wanted to be close to him,but now he's treating you as nothing,as is even so inconsiderate as to post that picture after being so intimate with you. It would hurt anyone, especially girls who are more emotional than men ,this is why we shouldn't have casual sex.its the truth. Still no text from the guy who I hooked up with a week ago from Sunday. It's really bothering me!! Hes not just any guy either... for those of you who've never read my previous post. Hes been a friend for 3 years. I always just seen him as a friend, was never attracted to him in that way. He was my ex boyfriends bestfriend, and one of my friends ex boyfrirnd of 5 years. Him and ex are no longer bestfriends, they grew apart but he has still remained in my life. Well, we'd always hang out. Get drunk together, have fun. Went back to his place a few times. Slept in his bed but we've never done anything. I did somewhere, somehow start to have feelings for him.. we had sex last week after hanging out all day and had too many drinks.. we talked a bunch. I told him I had feelings for him he said the same back.. but we both agreed that nothing could ever happen between us. So im not gonna hook up with him ever again. I wont be the booty call or friends with benefits. but its hurting me he hasnt sent a text after that night. I know I could but im soo stubborn. I even got really drunk and went out lastnight and didn't text! Surprised. Usually I'd text if I were drunk lol.. I been posting a few good pictures of myself, still nothing. Im all over social media.. so he sees me popping up.. no text? He posted a picture today on instagram of him and this girl I know and captioned "my little angel". That pissed me off so much. Its like he doesn't even care. How can someone I completely trusted and been friends with for so long make me feel as if im invisible. We had a great time together that night. He kissed me in the morning before he went to work, we cuddled and talked all night. Even someome you had a hook up with that literally was just a hook up and nothing more, means nothing to you and you mean nothing to him- would send a text. Im sad anyone have any advice
Thegreatestthing Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Don't listen to this,a guy who is interested in you is interested in talking to you ! God dammit!!!! Just text the guy yourself!!! You are a big girl now I'm sure you can do that. If your waiting for him you'll be waiting a good long while. Gah I hate this "wait for him to message first" tosh
Recommended Posts