Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 So is it weird that this guy .. Who I've not met... And have tried to tell no thanks to meeting... Is offering to drive me out of town and back so he can at least "have great converation" Just thought that was bizarre. But maybe I just don't know how nice guys act.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 So is it weird that this guy .. Who I've not met... And have tried to tell no thanks to meeting... Is offering to drive me out of town and back so he can at least "have great converation" Just thought that was bizarre. But maybe I just don't know how nice guys act. I would say definitely odd. I had someone ask me if our first date (that we hadn't been on) went well did i want to go away for the weekend with him. I thought it was sweet... Until I came on here and unbiased peoe rationalised it for me. It's not normal. Just block his number
nescafe1982 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I feel like his persistence is even more concerning knowing I have seen he had a dismissed charge for harassment. Not to mention ... Theft. This would be a problem for me. He sent you flowers BEFORE asking you out? Do I have that right? Seems pushy to me, if so. And if he shows ANY behavior indicating he cannot/will not respect boundaries you set down with him, that's a red flag worthy of dumping IMO. The harassment charge is more concerning than the other one... mostly because it is recent. You can ask him about it... but honestly, with this many red flags cropping up this early (how long have you known him, btw? How did you meet? Important details).... I would cut and run. Something seems off from what you've posted here. And not for nothing: but rich men are, erm, more likely to have criminal charges against them dropped. edit to add: wait... you haven't met him yet? Okay, this clarifies things further. Cut and run. And block him immediately. This is really off. 1
HappyLove Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 How does a man you've never met send you roses? You gave a stranger your address? 1
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 No he knew where I worked. And he had flowers delivered there for me. I have told him many times that I'm just not ready to date etc... (After discovering his background) and he keeps offering things.
nescafe1982 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I have told him many times that I'm just not ready to date etc... (After discovering his background) and he keeps offering things. Run, don't walk, away from this one.
Gaeta Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 So is it weird that this guy .. Who I've not met... And have tried to tell no thanks to meeting... Is offering to drive me out of town and back so he can at least "have great converation" Just thought that was bizarre. But maybe I just don't know how nice guys act. * Nice men don't insist when you say no. They accept your answer then don't bother you anymore. * Nice men do not suggest a lady they don't know a drive outside of town. They know it's inappropriate and out of any woman's comfort zone. 3
HappyLove Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 No he knew where I worked. And he had flowers delivered there for me. I have told him many times that I'm just not ready to date etc... (After discovering his background) and he keeps offering things. How does a man you never met know where you work?! I think you need to be more careful with your safety. 4
Gaeta Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 No he knew where I worked. And he had flowers delivered there for me. I have told him many times that I'm just not ready to date etc... (After discovering his background) and he keeps offering things. Why did he know where you work? I never ever tell where I work before at least a few dates. This man is deranged. It's written mental-case all over him.
Author Mommame2 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 He knows because it's on my Linked in page. Things are so easy to find now. That's actually how he connected with me. He is loosely in my career field.
Gaeta Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 mommame2: Before dating you first need to come up with a list of what's is appropriate and not. It's like you have a hard time identifying what is normal and abnormal in the dating world. Everything this man is doing is NOT normal. Decent men do not act or talk this way. Do you know what a gentleman acts like? A gentleman listens to what you say and he respects a 'no'. 1
nescafe1982 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 mommame2: Before dating you first need to come up with a list of what's is appropriate and not. It's like you have a hard time identifying what is normal and abnormal in the dating world. Everything this man is doing is NOT normal. Decent men do not act or talk this way. Do you know what a gentleman acts like? A gentleman listens to what you say and he respects a 'no'. Agreed. He sounds increasingly "stalkerish:" desperate, aggressive, potentially dangerous. Please be careful, OP.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Agreed. He sounds increasingly "stalkerish:" desperate, aggressive, potentially dangerous. Please be careful, OP. You could always call the cops...
regine_phalange Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Would you date a guy who you found out had a criminal record for theft and a dismissed charge for harassment? If he can explain the circumstances? No. What if one day we have a family and he has to go to prison? Or pay an expensive bail? This man doesn't sound very balanced. Stay away from him.
dragon_fly_7 Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 No, I don't date reformed men at all. I look for a man with a clean record because I don't have a record either.
ThatMan Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 The fact that he was charged with harassment means that he most likely was harassing someone. She called the police, he promised to stop with the harassment if she dropped the charges, so she dropped them. Or she called the police, got a restraining order, and decided that it wouldn't be worth it to go through with a trial since she already had the restraining order to keep him at bay. You don't know that. I understand avoiding a man who has a history of domestic violence. But those circumstances you've listed aren't the only scenarios out there. The real world goes beyond whatever Hollywood stereotypes you're thinking of. Some women aren't of sound mind and suffer severe psychiatric disorders. These are the sort of people who freak out at the mere idea of a relationship ending and they call the police for all sorts of reasons including to file a temporary restraining order, try to file any manner of complaints including harassment, and so forth. Respected organizations such as NAMI will tell you that 1 in 4 people suffer some form of mental illness. Temporary restraining orders are issued at the mere moment a complaint is filed - things like guilt and innocence do not even matter. You can file a temporary restraining order the next time you leave a relationship and it'll go through regardless of circumstance. You can even file a temporary restraining order on an Ex's parents. Anyone can file a complaint. Anything is possible and nobody is in a fair position to guess what seems 'most likely' to happen. 1
StanMusial Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 What he did in the past is in the past and has no bearing on who he is today. LOL. (No, I don't really believe that, it's just a popular answer on here.) 2
ja123 Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 OP - RUN!!!!! The man found you on LinkedIn and sent flowers to your work, and you haven't even met him? Run!
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