HappyxFaith Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 So my boyfriend of a little more than a year, broke up with me today after being in our long distance relationship for 4 months. He told me somehow he can only see me as a sister, or a really good friend. You know the same thing about how he's just not in love with me anymore like that. He told me that it wasn't anything about me, but it was just his problem and how he felt. (You know the it's not you, its me thing) Like many of you out there, I know its hard for any of us to believe since a relationship is a two way street. So there were many things I thought about. I wonder if our conversations weren't substantial enough for him, if the fact that I didn't take care of myself well in the early part of our relationship was the deciding factor, if anything would've changed if I had done something differently. You know all these what if's that no one can answer....... (And will my conversations be substantial for someone else later on?) Maybe you can see, as many of us have share similar feelings, that my confidence has taken quite a blow. After I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, I was already cautious with men. And after I started dating this guy, he told me I could trust him. And I told him it needed to be earned, and he did. And I trusted him faithfully and completely. But it somehow crashed in my face. And he was a really great guy, with strong values, balanced temper, and whatnot. Granted his effort in our long distance relationship was lacking for these past couple of months, but he tried. And I guess it's a huge blow for my not only in terms of heartache, but also because I lost a great guy. And it makes me wonder, was there something not complete with me? That he didn't want to grow with me like I did him? Why was I not enough? Why was everything I did, and all the efforts I made in vain? Will I meet someone one day that I could give all my heart to as much as I want without fearing that they'll take me for granted, and love me back? Will my efforts one day be enough for someone and override the faults and mistakes I make?
iDrumKing Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 First of all, I'm sorry about the heartache you are going through. I really doubt there was anything wrong with you or him. It's one of the things that just wasn't meant to be in my opinion. If there is anything to be said about the whole "it's not you... it's me" phrase, is maybe he wasn't into the long distance. This is just a guess, but please don't begging to judge yourself.
Survivor12 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 With some people, it just clicks...with others, it doesn't. It isnt necessarily about actions or appearance or anything specific. There isn't an answer and it doesn't mean that here is anything wrong with either person. I like--and even love--a lot of people in my life, but I'm not necessarily interested in them romantically. You can "DO" anything to make someone interested--if they aren't feeling it, it IS because of them, not you. It's not an excuse...it's just the only way to explain the inexplicable. The other, bolder way to say it is, "He's just not into you".
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