daboyz Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Why are there so many games played by both Men and Women in the dating game ? If u both like eachother why not just tell eachother? And if u dont just tell them ! Why play games !! ??? Im venting a little here cause this has happened more than once. Went out with a girl I have known last week. The Date was one of the BEST first dates I have ever been on. Really got to know eachother and really connected - we had a lot in common ! So I asked her out again for this upcoming Sat night 2 days after our first date. She accepted and was happy I asked her out again. So I called her yesterday to let her know what time I would pick her up and stuff. Got her voicemail, so left a message for her to call me back when she gets a chance. Well Im still waiting for the call. Now most guys would start freaking out and keep on calling, but I know that girls dont like to call back right away cause it makes them look desperate. So im planning not to call her back until Thursday. Why dont women call back right away ? Do they think its funny making us guys squirm around ? Obviously when a women doesnt call back guys start to get all the negative thoughts running thru their heads ! Just lookin for some help ! Thanks
kanga Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Is the girl who you sent the flowers to after date one? I think the answer is posted frequently -- people (women and men both) are afraid of confrontation. They're afraid of hurting others. They're too immature to be real. Etc. Some are just mean.
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Why dont women call back right away ? Do they think its funny making us guys squirm around ? Obviously when a women doesnt call back guys start to get all the negative thoughts running thru their heads ! Just lookin for some help ! You answered your own question below... but I know that girls dont like to call back right away cause it makes them look desperate. So im planning not to call her back until Thursday. Women feel the same way when men say they will call and don't. Women feel the same way after having sex with someone they like and then the guy doeesn't call the next day....
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by daboyz Why are there so many games played by both Men and Women in the dating game ? Games are part of life and all human interactions. They've been played for centuries and will be played for as long as humans exists. Emotions are irrational and subjective. Get used to the existence of games and look at them positively and not negatively. The quicker you realized this reality the better your life will be.
Midwest guy Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 AS you might have read in my old post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t55295/ There is a girl I have a huge crush on and she kept promising to call me back and she never did. Then she waits till the last day before she goes back to school to tell me how she feels.
Author daboyz Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Midwest : I did read ur post. No disrespect but I think my problem is a little different than urs. I have known this girl for a few yrs. I ahve already gone out with her for our first date. I already have a 2nd date set-up with her. I m just wondering why ladies dont call guys back in a reasonable amount of time, its like a BIG game or something ! Thanks
fundamental Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 There could be many reasons.... she could be playing games...playing hard to get because she heard it was a good idea (bad idea in my opinion) maybe she is trying to let you down maybe has been extremely busy maybe she is shy and trying to come up with excuses maybe something bad has happened to her there are so many possibilities.... I think that you should call her ONE more time and that is it. If she picks up the phone, don't mention the date, just talk to her for a couple of minutes and listen to her voice to find out whether or not she is still interested in you. Don't ask to find out about the date. If she doesn't pick up the phone and you get her voice mail, let her know that you are canceling the date because something has come up. If she cares enough, she will call you back to find out why. Let her down before she does that to you. I think that there is so much time from the time you asked her out to the date that she doesnt feel she has to contact you until right before the date.
Author daboyz Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Thanks for all ur posts ! Fundamental : If she wanted to let me down, why would she say yes to the 2nd date in the first place ? Its just worse cause we have known eachother for a few yrs and I finally asked her out and we had a great time. Had so much in common and it was a great 1st date !!! Sent her flowers the next day just to say that I had a great time. She didnt call back then either ! But when I got to the sports bar 2 days later, she couldnt wait to come over and thank me for them and tell me how beautiful they were ! Then the rest of the night was spent flirting ! Next day I called her to set up 2nd date....she said yes hse would like to out again. So Im just thinkin if she really didnt have any interest in me she wouldnt be doing any of that and she would of said thanks but no thanks ....dont u think ?
fundamental Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 She could still like you a lot and say yes to a date yet not want to go out--due to fear. It seems to me, from what you have posted, she is trying to play it cool because she really likes you, and she is scared. It seems as if she is trying to follow a certain behavior so that she appears cool and calm. Perhaps in a previous relationship, she would call the guy back immediately, show too much emotion, etc. Now she wants to make sure that things are in her control so that she doesn't loose control.
fundamental Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by daboyz Thanks for all ur posts ! Fundamental : If she wanted to let me down, why would she say yes to the 2nd date in the first place ? So Im just thinkin if she really didnt have any interest in me she wouldnt be doing any of that and she would of said thanks but no thanks ....dont u think ? Women can be sneaky...they will never tell you the truth, yet they expect the truth from you 100% of the time.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental Women can be sneaky...they will never tell you the truth, yet they expect the truth from you 100% of the time. Yeah FUNDAMENTAL....when i wuz growin' up my ma always used to say watch out when dealing with gurlz cause they are ruthless and selfish. This is coming from a grown woman. Maybe she was trying to protect her little boys but I don't think she wuz kidding.
Midwest guy Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental Women can be sneaky...they will never tell you the truth, yet they expect the truth from you 100% of the time. True. Just like the girl I have the hots for. Alot of times like in my case maybe they dont want to hurt your feelings so they hope that you will forget about it or take the hint.
Author daboyz Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 Just like fundamental said from what I have said about this girl, there is noway she is trying to "let me down" or "break it off" I know im not the greatest man alive, but i do know when a girl is interested in me. I would be very very surprised if this girl is trying to let me off easy. We have had to much fun together and have gotten along well for that to happen at this point !
fundamental Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Yeah FUNDAMENTAL....when i wuz growin' up my ma always used to say watch out when dealing with gurlz cause they are ruthless and selfish. This is coming from a grown woman. Maybe she was trying to protect her little boys but I don't think she wuz kidding. LOL....she was not kidding...LOL
fundamental Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by daboyz Just like fundamental said from what I have said about this girl, there is noway she is trying to "let me down" or "break it off" I know im not the greatest man alive, but i do know when a girl is interested in me. I would be very very surprised if this girl is trying to let me off easy. We have had to much fun together and have gotten along well for that to happen at this point ! Well, in that case, just give it some time and wait until she calls you. Has she done this in the past? Taken a long time to call you back. Her past interactions with you should be your guide.
Midwest guy Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Like in my case Lindsay doesnt understand that I feel hurt that she didnt call me back or at least give me one shot on a date. I mean her saying Im not really her type is shallow and hurtful when she didnt even let me take her out and instead judges me.
fundamental Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by Midwest guy Like in my case Lindsay doesnt understand that I feel hurt that she didnt call me back or at least give me one shot on a date. I mean her saying Im not really her type is shallow and hurtful when she didnt even let me take her out and instead judges me. They dont realize that it's better to know then end result than to not know. I would rather have a woman tell me she is not intereted, than to have her avoid my calls, cancel plans, or run around the topic. To women who read this post: When you are not interested in a guy, please tell him that you are not interested in him. If not, it will be worse. Don't be spineless, just tell him "NO!"
Fritz Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by daboyz Why are there so many games played by both Men and Women in the dating game ? If u both like eachother why not just tell eachother? And if u dont just tell them ! Why play games !! ??? Im venting a little here cause this has happened more than once. Went out with a girl I have known last week. The Date was one of the BEST first dates I have ever been on. Really got to know eachother and really connected - we had a lot in common ! So I asked her out again for this upcoming Sat night 2 days after our first date. She accepted and was happy I asked her out again. So I called her yesterday to let her know what time I would pick her up and stuff. Got her voicemail, so left a message for her to call me back when she gets a chance. Well Im still waiting for the call. Now most guys would start freaking out and keep on calling, but I know that girls dont like to call back right away cause it makes them look desperate. So im planning not to call her back until Thursday. Why dont women call back right away ? Do they think its funny making us guys squirm around ? Obviously when a women doesnt call back guys start to get all the negative thoughts running thru their heads ! Just lookin for some help ! Thanks Im confused. You went out a couple of days ago. You asked her out again, called her yesterday to confirm time etc. and no reply yet. I'd give her a day at least so no big deal yet. If you don't hear anything by wednesday, give her a call. If you get no response after that, move on and make other plans for the weekend. I don't care how busy people are, its not hard to call someone back within 1-2 days.
Midwest guy Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental They dont realize that it's better to know then end result than to not know. I would rather have a woman tell me she is not intereted, than to have her avoid my calls, cancel plans, or run around the topic. To women who read this post: When you are not interested in a guy, please tell him that you are not interested in him. If not, it will be worse. Don't be spineless, just tell him "NO!" Agree. I mean at first when I asked Lin out she smiled and was kinda blushing. Also she gave me hints that she was interested like at work one night I told her shes a cute lady and all and she started blusing at me and all. At the same time she said I was too pushy and would always make up lame excuses that shes busy even when I have proof shes not at the time she says she is. Thats what hurts me then last week when I called her at school she was nice to me this time and said she would call me back.
Author daboyz Posted February 1, 2005 Author Posted February 1, 2005 Fritz : Yes I asked her out 2 days after our first date. But that was a week ago, so I called her on Sunday to let her know what time i was gonna pick her up and stuff. She hasnt called me back yet. Maybe she didnt get the message, maybe shes busy...lol.....I dont know. Im one of those people that thinks someone cant be that busy to call someone back. But then again like I said women and men LOVE playing games when dating. She could be waiting to call me until later in the week since our date isnt till Sat so it doesnt seem like she is desperate or sumthin ....lol.....I can never understand girls !!! We have known eachother for a few yrs. Shes the bartender at the sports bar I go to. So my friends and her girl bartender friends are one Big happy group of friends. I finally got enough nerve to ask her out after weeks of flirting from her !! After our first date I sent her a dozen tuliups and just said that I had a great time. She didnt call me then to thank me for the flowers either. But when I got to the bar she was very happy to actually see me and thanked me for the flowers, said that was sweet and they were beautiful !! So maybe she is like me and doesnt like talking on the phone to the opposite sex ???? Ive had ex'es do the same thing. When we first met and were dating I would call them and they would nnever call back within a reasonable time !! But in the end we became bf/gf ...so like I said I have no idea, maybe it is a written law to women that u should never call the guy back until so many days or sumthing .....LOL....
7on Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental They dont realize that it's better to know then end result than to not know. I would rather have a woman tell me she is not intereted, than to have her avoid my calls, cancel plans, or run around the topic. To women who read this post: When you are not interested in a guy, please tell him that you are not interested in him. If not, it will be worse. Don't be spineless, just tell him "NO!" Agreed. I hate being led around. Makes me feel used. I simply do not play games. If I like a girl and find out she's available I ask her out, though my last two "potentials" I had a good hunch they were single - after all the first one teased me a lot talking about sex and wanting to spoon and I freakin made out twice with the second girl. However, apparently they were involved with someone else. Well, if you were with someone else why did you lead me on like something could happen?!?!?! I just need some commitment in my life. Someone that I can care for and make her feel special. I can honestly say waking up next to a woman has been the best moment in my life. Alas it wasn't met to be.
Author daboyz Posted February 2, 2005 Author Posted February 2, 2005 UPDATE : Sent a text message early Tuesday. She wound up calling me back a little later in day and left a voicemail. Said that she got my text and that she was sorry for not calling me back but she has been working her butt off and didnt want to call me late at night or to early in the morning. Told me to call her when she got off work at 4:30. By that time I was at work and gettin killed so I couldnt call her .....LOL......maybe its just not meant for us to talk over the phone ....LOL...... Perfect example of a guy starting to overreact cause the girl hasnt called back right away ....lol....I still think she's playing by some women code to not call guys back until a couple of days pass ......LOL....... I HATE DATING GAMES/RULES !!!
kanga Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Perfect example of a guy starting to overreact cause the girl hasnt called back right away Awww .... I have a thread here from a week or so where I was also overreacting, freaking out about not getting a call or hearing from a boy for several days. Let's all work harder to not overreact. Good luck, daboyz.
Author daboyz Posted February 2, 2005 Author Posted February 2, 2005 Kanga: You have to love the dating game huh ??? Why cant BOTH girls and boys just say point blank "Hey I like You" OR "Sorry not interested". Why do we have to play these stupid games and try to decipher from the other persons body language and what they say and so on and so on .......I guess that would be to simple .....LOL...... Good Luck !
Midwest guy Posted February 2, 2005 Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by daboyz Kanga: You have to love the dating game huh ??? Why cant BOTH girls and boys just say point blank "Hey I like You" OR "Sorry not interested". Why do we have to play these stupid games and try to decipher from the other persons body language and what they say and so on and so on .......I guess that would be to simple .....LOL...... Good Luck ! Agree. Same in my case. This girl I still like kept me hanging for so long then admits it shes not dating cause she goest to school. I can understand like in my case she was just trying to be nice prob and not wanting to hurt my feelings, but I like someone who is straight forward and honest.
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