Gher2154 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Hey thanks for looking. So since 2012, my buddy would always invite me to his parties, marriages, birthdays, and other events, and I would go to the them. He introduced me to one of his cousins and I immediately fell for her. The whole day we spent just chilling on his bed, getting close, and just giving each other random but tight hugs. This happened every time we would see each other. Her name is Paola. So in October 2, 2013 I met someone named Andrea and we fell for each other too. We dated and broke up in December and we got back I'm March 18 of this year. Well we broke up because I just really wasn't sure about the relationship and I promised her I would not leave her but you know I did. My friends would tell me she would flirt with others, and even ended up kissing another guy. She admitted it too. Well I like to party to paisa or Mexican music, get some soda as drinks, and have a good time. Andrea is socially awkward and is really insecure and has depression with anxiety, and she hates everything that has to do with Mexicans even tho she is half Mexican. Well we got back together because we always just end up having feelings for each other. We broke up like 4 times in our 3 month relationship. Our last one was the longest. When we got back together she is really different and seems less insecure and has not haven breakdowns in such a long time, and we both regret hurting each other. I told her I would never break up with her again because I was so happy to have her back. Back to Paola, we hung during the months me and Andrea were not together and we had a blast. We would do everything together and we have a loooot of things in common. But ever since I got back with my girlfriend we barely talk. So we saw each other again one day and we just totally were together that whole day. We walked around and flirted and we would just stare at each other that whole time. I know she wants me and I want her. My friend told me that she even is telling everyone I am her new boyfriend, and my friend knows about Andrea too. So now I'm stuck. My girlfriend Andrea is really happy with me I can tell cuz she subtweets about me all the time, got a bit clingy and just keeps talking to me all day. Like I said, I promised her so many things that we would last more than next year and we cod have future together. But I like Paola because we are just perfect for each other. I'm confused I can't let me girlfriend down again and I can't miss a golden opportunity. I want both of them but I know there can only be one. I'm stuck and I don't plan on cheating on my girlfriend. My friend also tells me that Andrea isn't for me because I need to start focusing on my happiness too. My friend also told me that during our breakup up she would make out with a lot of guys and tells me that I'm just that other guy in the list, and that she is using me for self pleasure. And guys I like to put others before me because if I was conceited I would of left Andrea for Paola. The only bad thing about Paola is that I won't be able to see her everyday and I see my girlfriend Andrea almost everyday. I'm just stuck on who to choose. I'm just a 16 year old boy? What should I know? I need the advice from someone experienced about this, preferably an adult, thank again for your time.
Lay Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 I can understand where you are coming from, you are in a tough position but at the same time, you should not listen to your friend(s) on this one. It is entirely up to you and how you feel. I am happy to hear that you would never cheat on your girlfriend because that could really create trust issues with any future relationship. Your GF deserves the best, if you think you can deliver that and make her happy, be there for her and forget this girl. "Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn't make you nice, it just makes you a liar."- Jenny O'Connell Look into what YOU want. If you think you can't give your GF love and attention that she deserves because of this other girl, it is best that you walk away. Best of luck! ~Lay
what_a_blonde Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 You're really young, and you sound like you know what you want to do... just need someone to confirm it for you. I'm not saying its right for you to dump Andrea since Paola came along and you now like Paola.. because its not right. In life there will be many other women that you will meet and if you're in a committed relationship and are faithful it shouldn't phase you. HOWEVER, you're only 16. You have your whole life ahead of you and it sounds like you're not ready to settle down and if you are, its not with your current girlfriend. If there is anything you should do now is to learn when to let go. This isn't being selfish, its doing what is best for the both of you. You're not going to continue to lead your girlfriend on while longing for the other girl, and you're being honest with yourself. Eventually though you will need to learn when to settle down and not jump ship just because another girl comes around who "seems" like she would be better than the current. There is something called GIGS (grass is greener syndrome)... usually ends up backfiring on those who get it. As said before though, you're 16 so you have a ways to go.
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