Love simply vanished in the air, how will I tell her I don't love her anymore?

April 12, 2014

leonardo, I think that your fear of her leaving you after every fight was based on insecurities and low self-esteem rather than infatuation itself. It wasn't a healthy relationship, I'm sorry to say. But you can take it as a learning experience to help form a healthier relationship in the future.

Sgt. Pepper, I wonder if maybe you were more attached to her than anything. My ex-fiance wasn't in love with me, but loved me (apparently). But I think that he was attached to me because I was his biggest fan and supporter, rather than for who I was/am. I think people tend to mistake attachment for love. I don't know if this is the case in your situation, but I think that maybe you were afraid to lose her as a companion and so your "feelings" sprang into life out of that fear. I think it's a common reaction.

April 12, 2014

I'm sorry to hear that Sgt. Pepper but are you guys back together for good now?

Remains to be seen. It's all very tentative now, taking it slow. One screw up on my past and done. I'm gonna change for her though

April 12, 2014

She's your fiancée, right? If she doesn't love you for who you are (and vice-versa), then why be together?

Sorry, Sgt. Pepper. I don't see this having a happy ending.

April 12, 2014

leonardo, I think that your fear of her leaving you after every fight was based on insecurities and low self-esteem rather than infatuation itself. It wasn't a healthy relationship, I'm sorry to say. But you can take it as a learning experience to help form a healthier relationship in the future.

Sgt. Pepper, I wonder if maybe you were more attached to her than anything. My ex-fiance wasn't in love with me, but loved me (apparently). But I think that he was attached to me because I was his biggest fan and supporter, rather than for who I was/am. I think people tend to mistake attachment for love. I don't know if this is the case in your situation, but I think that maybe you were afraid to lose her as a companion and so your "feelings" sprang into life out of that fear. I think it's a common reaction.

Not really. I mean, at first probably because we met just after I had had a bitter breakup with a girl I spent 13 months living with. But there are so many girls out there in the world and I don't want any of them. Some might make better companions, might be even more supportive, might be more tolerant of my issues, but my fiancé and I have a deep respect, understanding and love for each other. My fiancé isnt objectively the prettiest or smartest girl, but to me she is. I pretty much starved myself to the point that I was very dehydrated and weak with squeezing feelings in my brain and an erratic heartbeat when I thought we were done. While I've loved many many people, my fiancé is the only person I have ever and will ever be in love with. To me she is perfection. I know if she left I could get another girl, but sea what I want for the rest of my life.

April 12, 2014

She's your fiancée, right? If she doesn't love you for who you are (and vice-versa), then why be together?

Sorry, Sgt. Pepper. I don't see this having a happy ending.

She does love me for who I am. What se didn't love was me acting like an insecure baby. I freaked out one time simply because she has male coworkers! Not right.

April 12, 2014

She does love me for who I am. What se didn't love was me acting like an insecure baby. I freaked out one time simply because she has male coworkers! Not right.

Freaking out just for her having male coworkers that's typically me (or technically was me) but from what I read and heard it could either be due to infatuation or low self esteem. I think that's what you need to figure out.

April 12, 2014

Freaking out just for her having male coworkers that's typically me (or technically was me) but from what I read and heard it could either be due to infatuation or low self esteem. I think that's what you need to figure out.

Low self esteem on my end. I also have a weird emotional thing where I sabotage myself and push away people who want me, while chasing those who don't. I realize this and also realize there won't be many women like my fiancé. She's everything I always wanted in a girl. And we're very alike in personaliy.

April 12, 2014

Low self esteem on my end. I also have a weird emotional thing where I sabotage myself and push away people who want me, while chasing those who don't. I realize this and also realize there won't be many women like my fiancé. She's everything I always wanted in a girl. And we're very alike in personaliy.

This is ME! I also have this same weird emotional thing! What's different though is that my ex girlfriend and I have almost opposite personalities.

April 16, 2014

well, basically i feel that LDR creates a "false image" of love, because you're often imagining how you spend time with her but when she is really here, things changes. Firstly, it might be a phase or you really don't feel suitable for her.

My ex-bf always feel i am too good for him, and i was "childish" so we often fight when we meet up. He also lost all feelings for me and struggling to find it back for 3-4 months. He is feeling exactly the same as you, guilty but do not regret his choice. What makes things worse is, he prioritize his career right now.

I feel that he is feeling exactly like you right now

For my side of thinking, i am feeling very "denial" that he does not love me anymore, i grab on to every hope. and by him being nice to me, i take it as he still love me some how.. i know i am giving myself false hope & i cannot go NC. We tried NC before we officially broke up for 1 month, did not work out at all. sometimes his love come back, but he couldnt take the guilt anymore as he was cold to me.

For now, we broke up and "talk as friends". I know maybe perhaps he is just being nice/using me (same as when you said u love her body).

I created this account to let you know exactly how your girlfriend think as i feel we are in the opposite side of situation. feel free to ask me anything if you want to know what she is thinking.

April 30, 2014

well, basically i feel that LDR creates a "false image" of love, because you're often imagining how you spend time with her but when she is really here, things changes. Firstly, it might be a phase or you really don't feel suitable for her.

My ex-bf always feel i am too good for him, and i was "childish" so we often fight when we meet up. He also lost all feelings for me and struggling to find it back for 3-4 months. He is feeling exactly the same as you, guilty but do not regret his choice. What makes things worse is, he prioritize his career right now.
I feel that he is feeling exactly like you right now

For my side of thinking, i am feeling very "denial" that he does not love me anymore, i grab on to every hope. and by him being nice to me, i take it as he still love me some how.. i know i am giving myself false hope & i cannot go NC. We tried NC before we officially broke up for 1 month, did not work out at all. sometimes his love come back, but he couldnt take the guilt anymore as he was cold to me.
For now, we broke up and "talk as friends". I know maybe perhaps he is just being nice/using me (same as when you said u love her body).
I created this account to let you know exactly how your girlfriend think as i feel we are in the opposite side of situation. feel free to ask me anything if you want to know what she is thinking.

wow thank you thysecret! And sorry for answering so late because I don't get any notifications whatsoever when someone posts in my thread. I really appreciate your help. I also believe she thinks the same as you do. We're back "together" now and it was her decision to see how things will work out, to give us a chance to figure things out. She just didn't wanna give up. And I, still drowning in my confusion, could just agree but I let her know that I just can't guarantee anything for her as I only have theories of what really happened. She agreed to this. I was hoping she would put the emotional matters aside for some time but she keeps on saying "I love you more than anything in the world" at the end of each conversation and it always ends up in that awkward silence where I just can't return the "favor". I'm also somehow cold but I can't help it. I just don't want to give her false hopes and I made this clear for her. So you think this will never work?

Thank you very much

PS: You can also ask me whatever question you want as I probably think like your SO/EX

Edited April 30, 2014 by Leonardo_slm

April 30, 2014

It's not unusual for us to confuse love, lust, and fantasy at the beginning of our lives -- some people don't learn the difference and are constantly in and out of relationships following romance instead of learning what it is that makes for a good relationship. That was me in my 20s for sure.

Romantic love is a very intense experience, and it's real. But it's not destiny or really a good indicator of who you're going to love at a deeper level. People infatuated with rock stars can experience that kind of consuming emotion too for years.

You're said you've always been ambivalent about her. But the intensity of your feelings and the long-distance means the rest of your relationship doesn't intrude on the fantasy, which is how relationships grow -- as fantasy and reality collide.

Long-talks and texting are not real life getting to know you. It's the day-to-day where you get to see how they respond to frustration, loss, little joys that allow you to decide if they're someone you want to be involved with. It's amazing what doesn't show up without real contact, day after day.

I'm a little concerned you might be avoidant of intimacy for some reason and that's why you've tolerated this lack of real contact. Time will tell.

Let this one go so you both be in a real-life romantic relationship.

And don't do this again -- unless it's your wife who needs to take care of business in another state for a few months

April 30, 2014

Thank you iDrumKing I hope this will work. I'm intending to talk to her tomorrow about it. I'm very nervous and stressed. I never had to cope with such things before in my life. But I've come to the conclusion that she'll end up hurt either way but it would hurt more if I keep on leading her on. I'm just afraid of extreme reactions as suicide or masochism. She's an extremist person.

Never, never allow the possibility of self-harm, other drastic acts keep YOU from find what is best for YOU. Sometimes people use such dramatic behavior, threats to keep you emotionally chained to them. It can be a form of manipulation. I know people who spend too much time thinking about how their decision will affect the other person, but don't realize that they are trapping themselves by doing so.

Do what is healthy, safe and best for yourself. You are not responsible for what that other person does in response.

April 30, 2014

It's not unusual for us to confuse love, lust, and fantasy at the beginning of our lives -- some people don't learn the difference and are constantly in and out of relationships following romance instead of learning what it is that makes for a good relationship. That was me in my 20s for sure.

Romantic love is a very intense experience, and it's real. But it's not destiny or really a good indicator of who you're going to love at a deeper level. People infatuated with rock stars can experience that kind of consuming emotion too for years.

You're said you've always been ambivalent about her. But the intensity of your feelings and the long-distance means the rest of your relationship doesn't intrude on the fantasy, which is how relationships grow -- as fantasy and reality collide.

Long-talks and texting are not real life getting to know you. It's the day-to-day where you get to see how they respond to frustration, loss, little joys that allow you to decide if they're someone you want to be involved with. It's amazing what doesn't show up without real contact, day after day.

I'm a little concerned you might be avoidant of intimacy for some reason and that's why you've tolerated this lack of real contact. Time will tell.

Let this one go so you both be in a real-life romantic relationship.

And don't do this again -- unless it's your wife who needs to take care of business in another state for a few months

Hi Veronica and thank you for your reply. The thing is she is a 100% sure she's been in a romantic relationship because the way I behaved towards her somehow made her sure I was the one she's been desperately looking for after all the boyfriends (so very many) she's had before and that made her love me the most. According to her she just can't live without me especially that I had a big role in comforting her and relieving some of the stress she's been during in the last 2 or 3 years. She's been dealing with too many problems for a young girl her age. Thus breaking up with me will not only hurt her due to the loss of the relationship itself but also because there will be no shoulder to cry on when the problems (never-ending ones) will knock on her door. It will be double suffering for her. That's what I'm afraid most of.

May 1, 2014

wow thank you thysecret! And sorry for answering so late because I don't get any notifications whatsoever when someone posts in my thread. I really appreciate your help. I also believe she thinks the same as you do. We're back "together" now and it was her decision to see how things will work out, to give us a chance to figure things out. She just didn't wanna give up. And I, still drowning in my confusion, could just agree but I let her know that I just can't guarantee anything for her as I only have theories of what really happened. She agreed to this. I was hoping she would put the emotional matters aside for some time but she keeps on saying "I love you more than anything in the world" at the end of each conversation and it always ends up in that awkward silence where I just can't return the "favor". I'm also somehow cold but I can't help it. I just don't want to give her false hopes and I made this clear for her. So you think this will never work?
Thank you very much

PS: You can also ask me whatever question you want as I probably think like your SO/EX

We "tried" to start over as well. It was good for a week, I tried not to be pushy or whatever but he is often hot & cold to me. In the end, I screwed it because its just hard being friends; knowing that he doesn't love me. I feel really empty although he replies to me. And then one day, bam! He turned cold and ignored me. I gave him another week of NC and contacted him again. But he was very cold and he said it was because I wanted attention and he is too busy. I apologised and asked if he still want to start over. And then,....... He told me he is interested in someone else but no feelings for her (which confused me) so starting over is very hard. I was hurt, I kept asking who she was but he ignored me all over again. I've decided to move on because I deserve someone who loved me fully. It's hurts to have someone there halfway. My friends say he might be lying to me to force me to move on because I am "pressuring" him to come back. Well.. I guess that's the end. I feel hurt but no longer as sad as during the BU 1 month ago.

So I guess if you really can't do this anymore, let her know. It hurts but it's better than dragging. On the days we are "trying" out, I feel very miserable because I keep trying to contact him and be nice when I'm dying inside. I feel like he is leading me on and making use of me, I feel useless & cheap. And I simply lose out to his new girl because I am physically not there.. I guess loving someone is to let him go. I doubt he will ever return. I bet he is feeling very turn off by me now. But well I admit it was because my emotions over-run and I threw him a "bomb". He must be feeling very irritated!!

Good luck btw and keep me updated!

May 1, 2014

We "tried" to start over as well. It was good for a week, I tried not to be pushy or whatever but he is often hot & cold to me. In the end, I screwed it because its just hard being friends; knowing that he doesn't love me. I feel really empty although he replies to me. And then one day, bam! He turned cold and ignored me. I gave him another week of NC and contacted him again. But he was very cold and he said it was because I wanted attention and he is too busy. I apologised and asked if he still want to start over. And then,....... He told me he is interested in someone else but no feelings for her (which confused me) so starting over is very hard. I was hurt, I kept asking who she was but he ignored me all over again. I've decided to move on because I deserve someone who loved me fully. It's hurts to have someone there halfway. My friends say he might be lying to me to force me to move on because I am "pressuring" him to come back. Well.. I guess that's the end. I feel hurt but no longer as sad as during the BU 1 month ago.

So I guess if you really can't do this anymore, let her know. It hurts but it's better than dragging. On the days we are "trying" out, I feel very miserable because I keep trying to contact him and be nice when I'm dying inside. I feel like he is leading me on and making use of me, I feel useless & cheap. And I simply lose out to his new girl because I am physically not there.. I guess loving someone is to let him go. I doubt he will ever return. I bet he is feeling very turn off by me now. But well I admit it was because my emotions over-run and I threw him a "bomb". He must be feeling very irritated!!

Good luck btw and keep me updated!

I understand your situation and see many similarities with my story.

The thing is I don't feel any better without her and deep inside I feel I can't be with anyone else but her but in the same time I don't feel like being in a relationship right now. I don't know if it's just a state of mind. I've been feeling miserable for 4 months already now and I would give all I have to feel good again. I just know that I won't bear seeing her with anyone else, at least now. Maybe it's just temporary because I'm still "connected" to her. It's very unfair I know because I should want her to be happy no matter how. And I feel guilty just like your ex does. It's hard when you don't know what you want... I've always known what I wanted in my life. Now it's chaos with opposite thoughts and states of mind colliding in my brain perpetually for 4 months. I even considered consulting a therapist but I don't believe it will help plus I'm not in a very eased financial situation and can't really afford therapy.

I wish you move on as quickly as possible but in the same time I don't think you should "hate" him for what he did because I can assure you that what happened (in case he's telling the truth) is completely out of his control. It's what happened to me. I just couldn't control anything because it was purely emotional. You can't decide what to feel.

Keep me updated too and good luck!

May 1, 2014

I understand your situation and see many similarities with my story.
The thing is I don't feel any better without her and deep inside I feel I can't be with anyone else but her but in the same time I don't feel like being in a relationship right now. I don't know if it's just a state of mind. I've been feeling miserable for 4 months already now and I would give all I have to feel good again. I just know that I won't bear seeing her with anyone else, at least now. Maybe it's just temporary because I'm still "connected" to her. It's very unfair I know because I should want her to be happy no matter how. And I feel guilty just like your ex does. It's hard when you don't know what you want... I've always known what I wanted in my life. Now it's chaos with opposite thoughts and states of mind colliding in my brain perpetually for 4 months. I even considered consulting a therapist but I don't believe it will help plus I'm not in a very eased financial situation and can't really afford therapy.
I wish you move on as quickly as possible but in the same time I don't think you should "hate" him for what he did because I can assure you that what happened (in case he's telling the truth) is completely out of his control. It's what happened to me. I just couldn't control anything because it was purely emotional. You can't decide what to feel.
Keep me updated too and good luck!

He went to see a therapist as well but doesn't work. Sometimes it's just changes in life, people just fall in and out of love. But well, emotions are hard to control and hard to get back. The only way is to keep away from each other for awhile. If you and her always talk, you won't know how it feels not to have her. With time, you will know whether you miss her or you're better off without her. I do not "hate" him but I am just hurt that he could just simply move on and likes someone else. I feel upset that I can't hold him back with our memories. What kills me is know that whatever me and him did together, will be replaced by her. I know he is not missing me and perhaps enjoying his single life right now. I know he can't help it and he felt miserable at first. But now he doesn't, he turned cold and moved on. With time; you will feel the same as him as well. What I can do is to leave him alone; maybe I'll give him a text on his test day. If he does not reply, so be it. But even if he reply, I feel miserable as well. So sometimes I'm confused about what to do! If you were him, what would you want me to do?

May 1, 2014

He went to see a therapist as well but doesn't work. Sometimes it's just changes in life, people just fall in and out of love. But well, emotions are hard to control and hard to get back. The only way is to keep away from each other for awhile. If you and her always talk, you won't know how it feels not to have her. With time, you will know whether you miss her or you're better off without her. I do not "hate" him but I am just hurt that he could just simply move on and likes someone else. I feel upset that I can't hold him back with our memories. What kills me is know that whatever me and him did together, will be replaced by her. I know he is not missing me and perhaps enjoying his single life right now. I know he can't help it and he felt miserable at first. But now he doesn't, he turned cold and moved on. With time; you will feel the same as him as well. What I can do is to leave him alone; maybe I'll give him a text on his test day. If he does not reply, so be it. But even if he reply, I feel miserable as well. So sometimes I'm confused about what to do! If you were him, what would you want me to do?

I can't tell unfortunately what I would want you to do if I were him because even though our stories are similar, every relationship had its own unique features and you guys have surely very different memories than us. But I can tell you what I want my gf to do. I want her first to try and understand (really understand, at least try) the situation I'm in even though it's very hard for her because she feels unloved and most of all not go deep into emotional matters and not to say "I love you" to spare me that so awkward silence where I just can't say "I love you" back because I would be lying. I also would want her to "leave me alone" by which I don't mean not to talk to me at all but to keep a low profile at least for now until I eventually manage to get some feelings back. She's the kind that wants to talk all the time and about useless and uninteresting subjects for long hours, basically small talk all the time. 2 days ago she told me I love you and I said "thank you" and now she's been pissed and still is.

I return the question and ask you what would you want me to do if you were her? Or rather what would've you wanted him to do knowing his situation?

May 2, 2014

I can't tell unfortunately what I would want you to do if I were him because even though our stories are similar, every relationship had its own unique features and you guys have surely very different memories than us. But I can tell you what I want my gf to do. I want her first to try and understand (really understand, at least try) the situation I'm in even though it's very hard for her because she feels unloved and most of all not go deep into emotional matters and not to say "I love you" to spare me that so awkward silence where I just can't say "I love you" back because I would be lying. I also would want her to "leave me alone" by which I don't mean not to talk to me at all but to keep a low profile at least for now until I eventually manage to get some feelings back. She's the kind that wants to talk all the time and about useless and uninteresting subjects for long hours, basically small talk all the time. 2 days ago she told me I love you and I said "thank you" and now she's been pissed and still is.

I return the question and ask you what would you want me to do if you were her? Or rather what would've you wanted him to do knowing his situation?

Wow our situation is pretty similar! Pissed is because she simply dont understand, I am also a "talker" and I know it makes him feel irritated. I couldn't understand as well but now I have already accepted the fact. Maybe is because he told me he already interested in someone else, hurts but helps. Honestly no matter what you do, you will still hurt her.

If you're nice and "lie", you're leading her on and giving false hope. What if in the end you can't love her again? If you're mean, she will go crazy and say "I thought we are suppose to start over?! Why are you being so cold blah blah blah".

i also did tried the "emotional" thing but he was straight up honest by saying he dont love me anymore and keep saying it. So I wise up, I choose not to say anything. It was going fine because I keep my emotions in check and slowly talk bout fun stuffs. But then my emotions over-run because I felt empty and lonely, I just couldn't get used to it that the guy who used to be all about me, went to cold, ignoring my texts often. I bet she's feeling like this too.

For me, I know it's wise to stay away but I keep trying to "go back" and hurt myself more. But sometimes you need to be hurt enough to be able to move on. Maybe he is being really harsh because I pushed him to his limit. If I'm her, I would want you to tell me honestly instead of leading me on. Because I think deep inside she already knew but just don't want to believe it. I am leaving him alone now, try to get a life which does not revolve around him. Maybe he will miss me, maybe he won't.

I fully understand now that you don't to feel this way but you can't help it. Honestly I fall out of love before but with some time, I start to miss him and came back but it was because I was young at that Time. By keeping low contact , it is very hard to gauge if you still love her because people tend to feel lonely sometimes. And when she's there, you will use her. It's selfish and after that, you will feel extreme guilty because you can't give her what you used to give her. If she's around you, your feelings can't come back because you don't have time to miss her at all!

From her side, I think she is trying to keep you talking to fill her emptiness!

We all know we are just giving ourselves false hope but we just can't stop. Maybe she feels that by talking to you, you won't forget her and come back. I always afraid that if I stop talking, he will simply move on and forget about me totally. But well; even when I'm around, he just keep running away.

Please be honest with her, she's hurt but that's the only thing you can do for her now. Take this time to focus on yourself, and maybe one day you will find out you love her deeply but well sometimes it's just too late. What I can say is, what's meant to be will eventually find a way to be back together. Honestly I am talking to other people, to fill in my emptiness now. I feel better when I console others! Keep me updated!

May 2, 2014

there will be no shoulder to cry on when the problems (never-ending ones) will knock on her door. It will be double suffering for her. That's what I'm afraid most of.

She sounds like she has some real problems that are not yours and she will have to take responsibility for. When we are at the bottom of the barrel unfortunately is often when we start facing our own responsibilities.

Yes, let's face this: she's also in a lot of pain now and always will be. You can't live her life for her, or change her state. That's up to her. And this may be the thing she needs to get it together. Or she may hobble on and find yet another guy to be her hero. Trust me, you are replaceable.

Think far ahead. Do you want kids? Do you want to give them this woman for a mother? That's how this could end up is you continue to let pity instead of respect and happiness guide your decisions. Do those future kids and you a HUGE favor and get out now and find the woman you would be thrilled to share that with. This is your life. She needs to deal with hers.

May 6, 2014

Wow our situation is pretty similar! Pissed is because she simply dont understand, I am also a "talker" and I know it makes him feel irritated. I couldn't understand as well but now I have already accepted the fact. Maybe is because he told me he already interested in someone else, hurts but helps. Honestly no matter what you do, you will still hurt her.

If you're nice and "lie", you're leading her on and giving false hope. What if in the end you can't love her again? If you're mean, she will go crazy and say "I thought we are suppose to start over?! Why are you being so cold blah blah blah".

i also did tried the "emotional" thing but he was straight up honest by saying he dont love me anymore and keep saying it. So I wise up, I choose not to say anything. It was going fine because I keep my emotions in check and slowly talk bout fun stuffs. But then my emotions over-run because I felt empty and lonely, I just couldn't get used to it that the guy who used to be all about me, went to cold, ignoring my texts often. I bet she's feeling like this too.

For me, I know it's wise to stay away but I keep trying to "go back" and hurt myself more. But sometimes you need to be hurt enough to be able to move on. Maybe he is being really harsh because I pushed him to his limit. If I'm her, I would want you to tell me honestly instead of leading me on. Because I think deep inside she already knew but just don't want to believe it. I am leaving him alone now, try to get a life which does not revolve around him. Maybe he will miss me, maybe he won't.

I fully understand now that you don't to feel this way but you can't help it. Honestly I fall out of love before but with some time, I start to miss him and came back but it was because I was young at that Time. By keeping low contact , it is very hard to gauge if you still love her because people tend to feel lonely sometimes. And when she's there, you will use her. It's selfish and after that, you will feel extreme guilty because you can't give her what you used to give her. If she's around you, your feelings can't come back because you don't have time to miss her at all!

From her side, I think she is trying to keep you talking to fill her emptiness!
We all know we are just giving ourselves false hope but we just can't stop. Maybe she feels that by talking to you, you won't forget her and come back. I always afraid that if I stop talking, he will simply move on and forget about me totally. But well; even when I'm around, he just keep running away.

Please be honest with her, she's hurt but that's the only thing you can do for her now. Take this time to focus on yourself, and maybe one day you will find out you love her deeply but well sometimes it's just too late. What I can say is, what's meant to be will eventually find a way to be back together. Honestly I am talking to other people, to fill in my emptiness now. I feel better when I console others! Keep me updated!

It's over now. We broke up. For good. I feel surprisingly relieved. She took it very badly though. She was sickened by the fact I was too cold and I don't blame her but I couldn't help it. It felt like I would be hypocrite if I weren't "cold" so. That's when I realized there was no other way out than to end it. The last words she told me were "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you and I hate myself". I hope she will recover and move on as soon as possible. Thank you thysecret for your help and I hope you're doing better, are you?

May 6, 2014

She sounds like she has some real problems that are not yours and she will have to take responsibility for. When we are at the bottom of the barrel unfortunately is often when we start facing our own responsibilities.

Yes, let's face this: she's also in a lot of pain now and always will be. You can't live her life for her, or change her state. That's up to her. And this may be the thing she needs to get it together. Or she may hobble on and find yet another guy to be her hero. Trust me, you are replaceable.

Think far ahead. Do you want kids? Do you want to give them this woman for a mother? That's how this could end up is you continue to let pity instead of respect and happiness guide your decisions. Do those future kids and you a HUGE favor and get out now and find the woman you would be thrilled to share that with. This is your life. She needs to deal with hers.

Thank you Veronica for your inspirational contribution. It did help me. Now it's over. We broke up and I feel better. I hope it lasts.

May 6, 2014

Glad you finally did it Leo. I know it sucks but you did the right thing.

May 7, 2014

Glad you finally did it Leo. I know it sucks but you did the right thing.

Thank you Kali it does suck but that's life I guess. Never been through this before. Hope it goes smoothly

May 9, 2014

It's over now. We broke up. For good. I feel surprisingly relieved. She took it very badly though. She was sickened by the fact I was too cold and I don't blame her but I couldn't help it. It felt like I would be hypocrite if I weren't "cold" so. That's when I realized there was no other way out than to end it. The last words she told me were "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you and I hate myself". I hope she will recover and move on as soon as possible. Thank you thysecret for your help and I hope you're doing better, are you?

Yeah you did the right time, although i know it hurts her alot. I told him i hate him as well but it was due to anger. Im glad you finally step out of it, you're also "saving" her as well. It's over for me as well, i did not talk to him at all. I think i'm kinda over it now, i hope. Have been talking to new people & kinda have my eye on one now! because honestly i feel that me & my ex is not suitable in terms of character and many things. I'm happier now than when i was "chasing" him. Im happy for myself Feel free to ask more if you still need help!

June 13, 2014

Hi guys. It's been a month and a half since i broke up with my gf. I'm not sure if you guys still remember my story. Anyways, is it normal that I'm still not over her? I mean I was relieved at first and felt better, now all I think about is her, all day long. I miss her... That's what I've been afraid of before the breakup and some of you warned me about it. I can't help checking her Facebook profile all the time and I just don't wanna see her with any other guy. Obviously I haven't talked to her since we broke up and she told my cousin she'd like to go back to me few days ago.

Question is do you guys think this is normal since we've been together for 2 years and a half or does this mean my feelings are resurfacing in her absence?

Reminder: I was the one to break up because I suddenly lost feelings for her.

Thank you

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Love simply vanished in the air, how will I tell her I don't love her anymore?

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