As men, do some of us now have to settle for less?

[lollipopspot]

To get an idea of what my dream girl (potential wife) would be like:

1) As beautiful as Adriana or similar

 

How do you rate physically? Could you be a male model?

[OldNavy]

I don't mean to be rude, but you haven't told us much about yourself. Are you incredibly fit and handsome, with strong morals/values and a great personality? Because unless you "have it all" you're likely to have to settle for a partner who isn't perfect either.

 

Like some of the other posters have said, though, people often go through life thinking they want one thing, but often find out they're pretty darn happy with something else. When you find a girl you really like you will hopefully think she is nearly perfect just the way she is.

To know more about me, this is my first thread:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/447540-do-very-few-us-make-double-digits

 

Ok I admit looks I might not be a 9/10 nor a Brad Pitt but rather a plain 6. Can't do nothing about it unlike a woman, she can always fix herself and look better; but I came a long way with the acne problem during most of my teens years all the way till age 17, which would made me feel awkward and depressed (though I had to under facial treatment for this and is good I don't have acne scars but I've felt ugly for a long while). Overall, I'm easy to get along with. Regarding other physical aspects, yes I'm fit and 6'1' ft. luckily I had a late growth spurt; I was short as a kid.

Edited April 7, 2014 by OldNavy

[OldNavy]

How do you rate physically?

6 to be honest

Could you be a male model?

Not really

[somedude81]

I don't want a bunch of pointless ONS and still be single no where near forming a family. I'm looking for a decent, good looking and quality woman, the one I would happily proposed to, be there every single day with her; find her beautiful in every single way.

 

To get an idea of what my dream girl (potential wife) would be like:

1) As beautiful as Adriana or similar

2) Has no baggage (or hardly any) nor wild partying past; has morals

3) Is a great cook (I'm a good cook myself too but would be a bonus if she actually liked doing that)

4) Great job or career-minded

5) Awesome personality and funny

 

Sadly I haven't encountered any woman that had those qualities. She either had some except 1-3 or all except 2.

What are the qualities you want for a wife that you would be happy with, not your perfect wife.

[serial muse]

To know more about me, this is my first thread:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/447540-do-very-few-us-make-double-digits

 

Ok I admit looks I might not be a 9/10 nor a Brad Pitt but rather a plain 6. Can't do nothing about it unlike a woman, she can always fix herself and look better; but I came a long way with the acne problem during most of my teens years all the way till age 17, which would made me feel awkward and depressed (though I had to under facial treatment for this and is good I don't have acne scars but I've felt ugly for a long while). Overall, I'm easy to get along with. Regarding other physical aspects, yes I'm fit and 6'1' ft. luckily I had a late growth spurt; I was short as a kid.

 

So you don't even meet your own standards for a partner, and yet you say that women have it easier because they don't have to settle?

 

OP, I don't know about others, but I think it's fine to search for your Adriana Lima. Good luck and godspeed. But more than the looks issue, it's your judgment of women in general that's going to be the problem when it comes to finding love - you, my friend, not only don't meet your own #1, but your #2 as well. You seem to have major baggage, from where I'm sitting. You're basically asking women to settle while complaining they don't have to - I mean, how do you even resolve that in your own head? Ach, the poor-me thing. So yawn.

 

Seriously, don't play the victim, and really don't play the "I-deserve" card. It's unappealing and you may miss out on some truly great human beings who are flawed but wonderful.

 

Let go of the listicle. You're shooting yourself in the foot and inviting people to do exactly what I just did: Turn it around on you. Lists are a nonstarter. Standards are fine, of course - necessary, even. But lists? Blech.

Edited April 7, 2014 by serial muse

[jay1983]

I don't pull like I use to in high school, or my early 20's. I don't think I've aged too much or gotten out of shape. I think it's the other way around. I'm fairly good looking and all I get is crap, like really terrible women. My friend a fit, educated man with no baggage or criminal record or anything like that, has been dating an obese women 24 2 kids, 2 baby daddies, makes minimum, drinks like a fish and starts a bad fight if he says to a friend who's a girl. Top all that off she comes on to me all the time, flirts with guys and looks to cheat on him any chance she gets. She had a good looking friend with a good head on her shoulders that said I was cute. Guess what, I never saw her friend again, she kept away never invited her when I was around or vise versa.

 

It's gotten really bad the past few years. Now with online dating, facebook, instagram and all the other crap, an average looking woman is unappreciable. Hell if they're a five they get hit all the time. It's gotten really bad.

 

I'll stay single and die alone before I get with a woman like that.

[dragon_fly_7]

I don't pull like I use to in high school, or my early 20's. I don't think I've aged too much or gotten out of shape. I think it's the other way around. I'm fairly good looking and all I get is crap, like really terrible women.

Don't mean to bring you bad news but base on what I've read on your previous thread and you describing yourself as only fairly good looking, you aren't going to find your moral compass woman that's assertive, very selective and has self-esteem. You're more than likely going to find women with their own flaws too. Even if you find youself an innocent girl, chances are she isn't going to be a highly quality girl either.

 

Generally, one gets what he is in return. If you're a player, sleeping around with any women just for sex even if they're awful and as you said are only fairly good looking, you're not going to land a virginal Adriana Lima model with morals. Sorry to hear you're having a hard time finding a decent woman but I think someone has to analyze what he/she has to bring to the table too.

Edited April 7, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[jay1983]

Don't mean to bring you bad news but base on what I've read on your previous thread and you describing yourself as only fairly good looking, you aren't going to find your moral compass woman that's assertive, very selective and has self-esteem. You're more than likely going to find women with their own flaws too. Even if you find youself an innocent girl, chances are she isn't going to be a highly quality girl either.

 

Generally, one gets what he is in return. If you're a player, sleeping around with any women just for sex even if they're awful and as you said are only fairly good looking, you're not going to land a virginal Adriana Lima model with morals. Sorry to hear you're having a hard time finding a decent woman but I think someone has to analyze what he/she has to bring to the table too.

 

Did you read my whole post or just the part you copied? That girl I slept with deserved what she got and it didn't have a whole lot to do with her looks. I describe myself as fairly good looking meaning I look good, but I'm not Brad Pitt. I'm not looking for Adriana whatever, I didn't even mention her. I'm just looking for one who's kinda cute or just average is fine, but all I find is women like the one I slept with, which I wish I could take back and ones like I mentioned in my post that I'm not sure you read. Yes I know I'm going to find women with their own flaws, and that's fine. I just don't want a complete piece of s**t. No I'm not sleeping with different women all the time. It did happen to me that night though. That s**t happens with people all the time. The difference with me is, I'm honest, I'll get on here and talk about, where most others on here don't have the balls.

Edited April 7, 2014 by jay1983

[man_in_the_box]

I'm gonna go with the rest of the posters - you standards (specifically physical) are too high. Only a supermodel will qualify? Yeah it'd not impossible but very unlikely combined with the oether qualities you seek. Do you honestly think an average woman who will only consider the male equivalent of your dream woman is going to have much succes? What would you say if she subsequently blamed her lack if success on 'men have it easier'?

[jonsnuh]

I'm a bit green. Should I be expanding my dating preferences to include older women as well? I had a few older women eyeing me at some of the social gatherings I attend, but I never paid them much attention.

 

I wouldn't mind being that cultured, professional, and confident H with a child. God I feel so archaic.

[jay1983]

I'm a bit green. Should I be expanding my dating preferences to include older women as well? I had a few older women eyeing me at some of the social gatherings I attend, but I never paid them much attention.

 

I wouldn't mind being that cultured, professional, and confident H with a child. God I feel so archaic.

 

It fails in long term, let's say your 30 she's 40. She's a lot more mature, especially if your a kid at heart like me. She's still attractive at 40 and can match your energy, but that won't last too long. Women aren't like men, I see a lot of 50 year old guys that run around and drink like their 20, sleep 4 hours go to work with no problem. Women age 50, not so much, they'll go out on the weekend, but they'll be back home before midnight.

 

@Everybody

That statement was referring to the majority of men and women. Please don't reply to me saying "I'm 50, I still party and stay out till 3" I know it's always the case, there are 50 women that can do that. I'm talking majority, 5 - 1 ratio.

[TigerLilly78]

I wonder if Its a over all mentally like the ops that has us now seeing an influx of never been married constantly single 30 something men. Cause I swear there seams to be alot of them now a days. I could be wrong guess they were all waiting for their "super model" counter part when themselves don't make their own "standards" its kinda sad yet some what funny...

[thefooloftheyear]

I wonder if Its a over all mentally like the ops that has us now seeing an influx of never been married constantly single 30 something men. Cause I swear there seams to be alot of them now a days. I could be wrong guess they were all waiting for their "super model" counter part when themselves don't make their own "standards" its kinda sad yet some what funny...

 

Nah....they'd just rather be boys than men...I mean who needs all of that responsibility anyway.?? Be man? Carry a family on your shoulders? Be a true provider? Oh..so much work that is......:rolleyes:And if they can find some dumb and naive woman to carry their aszes I suppose I cant blame them...

 

Nothing to do with lofty expectations...

 

TFY

[verhrzn]

I'm not looking down on woman and would still date an average in looks with a good personality. I meant that as an idea, it would have been great for a woman to have it all; great looking like Adriana, strong morals/values too and a decent woman overall. Not easy to find a woman that has it all; high in looks, morals, personality and nice.

 

I already know I can't have it all. I admit the only disadvantage in Adriana would be the whole waiting till marriage but I think if I was very much in love with her, liked everything else and her beauty, I'll wait for her. I have to say she's a rare woman. When I was a virgin, I would look up to her. She's still the most prettiest woman I've ever seen and with good morals, unlike the typical ones I've encountered.

 

And there's probably a lady out there who dreams of not being held up to a freaking Virginal Super Model as the ideal to which she should be aspiring. If I was dating a guy and discovered a post like this, I'd be preparing to pack my bags. You are looking for a fantasy, not a real life partner.

 

If settling is just that abhorrent to you, then don't get married. There's nothing wrong with being single you know.

[EasyHeart]

There's a huge difference between settling and being realistic.

 

Those of you guys out there who are over 18 and haven't had many (or any!) girlfriends are probably being unrealistic as to which women you can attract. If women are all rejecting you, then it means you are being unrealistic about which women you can attract; if you're getting dates, it means you are approaching women whom you can realistically attract.

 

The real question to ask isn't "What kind of woman do I want?", it's "What do I have to offer a woman that she'll want?"

[somedude81]

There's a huge difference between settling and being realistic.

 

Those of you guys out there who are over 18 and haven't had many (or any!) girlfriends are probably being unrealistic as to which women you can attract. If women are all rejecting you, then it means you are being unrealistic about which women you can attract; if you're getting dates, it means you are approaching women whom you can realistically attract.

 

The real question to ask isn't "What kind of woman do I want?", it's "What do I have to offer a woman that she'll want?"

I think you hit the wrong conclusion there.

 

The real question to ask isn't "What kind of woman do I want?", it's "What kind of woman can I get?" That's the conclusion your post was leading up to.

 

What you can offer to a woman is a very vague question, because each woman has things that she wants, that another may not.

[Targetlock]

because a good woman is worth waiting for and maybe she will be better and different then you could hope for. yep, thats my silly romantic side coming through again!

[Radu]

I wonder if Its a over all mentally like the ops that has us now seeing an influx of never been married constantly single 30 something men. Cause I swear there seams to be alot of them now a days. I could be wrong guess they were all waiting for their "super model" counter part when themselves don't make their own "standards" its kinda sad yet some what funny...

 

I don't think all of them come from unrealistic expectations of the opposite sex.

 

Some genuinely don't want to marry.

[EasyHeart]

I think you hit the wrong conclusion there.

 

The real question to ask isn't "What kind of woman do I want?", it's "What kind of woman can I get?" That's the conclusion your post was leading up to.

 

What you can offer to a woman is a very vague question, because each woman has things that she wants, that another may not.

Sure, different people want different things. My point is that in a lot of these threads where men complain that women aren't interested in them, I suspect there isn't much to be interested in. Why should a woman want to date you? If you can't answer that question (or if your answer is something like "I'm not that bad" or (shudder) "I'm a 'nice' guy), then the problem is on you.

 

You can't control what other people want, but you have a lot of control over who you are. Instead of talking of "settling", I think it's better to think in terms of how you can make yourself a better partner.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Women aren't like men, I see a lot of 50 year old guys that run around and drink like their 20, sleep 4 hours go to work with no problem. Women age 50, not so much, they'll go out on the weekend, but they'll be back home before midnight.

 

If women age so much faster than men, then why do they live longer ?

In any case, these guys who drink like they are 20 and only sleep 4 hours definitely will age fast and probably die early!!! Why on earth is being able to drink a lot something positive?

 

I think this kind of sexist crap really should be banned. There is no scientific evidence which says that women are older faster than men. NONE!

 

Imagine you would say that people of a certain race are so and so when they are 50, everyone would tell you that you are a racist. Then why is it OK if people do this about older women???

 

Some men of 50 are in good shape but there are still more men of 50 who die than women of 50. There are also women of 50 in good shape.

 

Stop stereotyping people of a certain gender and age. The way you discriminate them shows that you are a cold, harsh person who is unable to love. In everything you write here it shines true: you don't know what love is and you don't even love yourself. Start with that and the word "settle" won't even appear in your vocabulary anymore.

[jay1983]

If women age so much faster than men, then why do they live longer ?

In any case, these guys who drink like they are 20 and only sleep 4 hours definitely will age fast and probably die early!!! Why on earth is being able to drink a lot something positive?

 

I think this kind of sexist crap really should be banned. There is no scientific evidence which says that women are older faster than men. NONE!

 

Imagine you would say that people of a certain race are so and so when they are 50, everyone would tell you that you are a racist. Then why is it OK if people do this about older women???

 

Some men of 50 are in good shape but there are still more men of 50 who die than women of 50. There are also women of 50 in good shape.

 

Stop stereotyping people of a certain gender and age. The way you discriminate them shows that you are a cold, harsh person who is unable to love. In everything you write here it shines true: you don't know what love is and you don't even love yourself. Start with that and the word "settle" won't even appear in your vocabulary anymore.

 

LMAO

 

I'm sorry, do you know me?

 

You don't even get off from your computer and interact in the real world. How do I know that, I don't, but I'll assume just like you do.

 

No I'll say whatever I want, I could care less what you think. As for race, I've noticed black people age way slower than any other race. There's no scientific evidence to back that up, but if you live in the real you'd know what I'm talking about. Does that make me a racist if I make an observation lol

[123321]

it isn't when it comes to men who look down on women.

 

It's fine if we look down on OTHER women; gives us one more thing in common with the GF.

[PinkInTheLimo]

As for race, I've noticed black people age way slower than any other race. There's no scientific evidence to back that up, but if you live in the real you'd know what I'm talking about. Does that make me a racist if I make an observation lol

 

Yes it does make you a racist, you can add that to being a sexist.

 

Keep dreaming about Adriana Lima. She's probably also dreaming about you .

[Chubbi]

I think we can allow men to live in fantasy worlds. I mean, for the most part, men's unrealistic expectations are not that bad. She has to be a Victoria Secret model, can cook, has morals, is a decent human being is actually not that bad.

 

Compare that to what a woman's unrealistic expectations are.

 

The highest selling book today is Fifty Shades of Grey, with the dashing, handsome rogue Christian Grey as the romantic lead. The author made 14 million dollars a month last year on her book.

 

Guess what traits does Christian have?

 

He's tall, grey eyed, dark hair, fashionable (always), lean, fit, hard abs, big penis, knows fashion couture, a multibillionaire, 27 years old, knows fine dining, knows fine wine, owns his own company, is a pianist, can pilot a helicopter, and fights to end world hunger in his spare time. He knows exactly what to say in any and all situations. He knows how to be dominant, but just enough sweet. He can make a woman orgasm every time he sleeps with her.

 

The second highest-grossing film of all time is this movie called Twilight. Edward Cullen is the romantic lead in the film. The author of the books is now a megamillionaire.

 

What traits does Edward Cullen have?

 

He's tall, sandy-haired, gold copper eyes, a greek adonis body, very mature, disciplined, caring, protective, RICH, smart, has a photographic memory, basically perfection in the body of a 18 year old male. Of course, he only applies to Ivy League schools and yes, he got in to all of them. Perfect grades. Perfect, straight white teeth.

 

There's a 19 year old boy band member named Harry Styles. Go watch his candid videos where the young girls are stalking, throwing themselves at him, screaming, going crazy when he so much as breathes.

 

So, I'm not too worried about men's expectations, per say. Men actually seem quite realistic in comparison.

Edited April 9, 2014 by Chubbi

[ponchsox]

The short answer is no. If you think like this you aren't valuable enough to a woman. The key is to create value. And it has little to do with looks.