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Too ugly to date - highly depressed

nobodie

By nobodie
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nobodie Member

nobodie

Posted
Posted

I have been trying net dating for past few years .. Each time I add them on Fb or exchange pic, they stopped the spontaneity of contacts, like they would never contact me again after seeing my pictures or they would just return courteous replies. I have experienced it umpteen times and I'm really feeling depressed and helpless about it. I tried to sieve out the shallow ones and try to talk to the considerably less shallow ones but in the end? They still cease contact or decline meet up after seeing my pictures

 

I am getting no where with net dating. Been trying it for several years but keep getting rejected over my appearances. I don't even have chance to foster a friendship because I don't hear from them again after the first picture exchange

 

I don't get any suitors in socialising in real life. I'm just plain and in interesting person.

 

I have tried to improve on my looks, changing my dressing or applying make up . But it seems I'm too ugly for love. I'm also maybe too old to date as most guys are seeking younger girls as eligible partners

Tressugar Established Member

Tressugar

Posted
Posted

I honestly believe that there is someone for you. Continue to put yourself in fun social settings...you'll meet your person.

  • Like 2
Hope Shimmers Established Member

Hope Shimmers

Posted
Posted
I have been trying net dating for past few years .. Each time I add them on Fb or exchange pic, they stopped the spontaneity of contacts, like they would never contact me again after seeing my pictures or they would just return courteous replies. I have experienced it umpteen times and I'm really feeling depressed and helpless about it. I tried to sieve out the shallow ones and try to talk to the considerably less shallow ones but in the end? They still cease contact or decline meet up after seeing my pictures

 

I am getting no where with net dating. Been trying it for several years but keep getting rejected over my appearances. I don't even have chance to foster a friendship because I don't hear from them again after the first picture exchange

 

I don't get any suitors in socialising in real life. I'm just plain and in interesting person.

 

I have tried to improve on my looks, changing my dressing or applying make up . But it seems I'm too ugly for love. I'm also maybe too old to date as most guys are seeking younger girls as eligible partners

 

No one is too "ugly" to date!

 

You are experiencing the "on-line dating" phenomenon where people will judge way too much on photos. I have found that people who look good in photos don't in person sometimes, and others who don't necessarily take good photos are attractive in person for many reasons.

 

I think online dating is not for you, and you should focus on in-person dating encounters with people in similar hobbies, groups, interests, etc (and yes I know how hard that is).

  • Like 3
Mrin Established Member

Mrin

Posted
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Ya seriously OLDing is incredibly superficial. Heck I am even prone to it. But to tell you the truth, every woman that I've dated and it hasn't worked out has been 100% not appearance related. You just need to get into a medium where your worth as a dating prospect isn't determined by 5 images. Personality, intelligence, compassion, humor - none of that translates to an online dating world. Try clubs and social groups. Those are mediums where your assets can shine!

quidproquo89 Established Member

quidproquo89

Posted
Posted
No one is too "ugly" to date!

 

You are experiencing the "on-line dating" phenomenon where people will judge way too much on photos. I have found that people who look good in photos don't in person sometimes, and others who don't necessarily take good photos are attractive in person for many reasons.

 

I think online dating is not for you, and you should focus on in-person dating encounters with people in similar hobbies, groups, interests, etc (and yes I know how hard that is).

I've found that also, a lot of people aren't photogenic, but are stunning in person :). Online dating is verrry hit and miss, you can be 'beautiful' and 'interesting' and still fail on those sites. Meeting people in real life is better, but just stay on there and keep your options open. Sites like pof, you put pictures up straight away, so you wont have to exchange pics.

 

 

No one is too ugly, that's bull, keep your head up high - keep your eyes open he will probably turn up when you least expect it :)

  • Like 1
gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
Posted

Just flip through the pictures on IMDB. I've seen many women I thought were stunning in one movie/show only to look them up and see some god awful photographs. So bad I would have probably flipped by them if I was doing OLD.

 

As far as your concerned, lose the extra pounds if your fat, grow your hair out if it's short and do some informal photo shoots where you snap hundreds of pics from different angles and post the top few. Unless you have some kind of physical deformity you're not telling us about that should be enough to get you some results.

nerdlingZA Established Member

nerdlingZA

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What's your FB name

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

I'm reading between the lines that you don't have a picture on your profile, you chat people then add them to your FB.

 

Do not do that.

 

Put up pictures on your dating profile, let people see you first, don't hide, there is a someone for everyone. You will get messages don't worry.

 

Also, I personally think adding someone to our FB before meeting them or adding them right after meeting them is a bad move. It's too much too fast information about ourselves. The sense of wonder at the beginning is important and it's often killed with adding people right away.

 

There is NO such a thing as too ugly or too old to date. Take care of yourself, every day should be a good hair day, get your eye brows under control, accentuate your best features with a little bit of make up, dress well....and you're set.

  • Like 2
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
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I has a face full of acne, crooked teeth, and I was chubby. Plus I have a crooked nose albeit it is not big and it looks nice from a front of angle.

 

 

 

 

 

So I got braces, cured my acne via EXTENSIVE research about hormones, and stopped over eating and using food as a crutch for my lack of life/friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Now I get loads of male interest and I am not even that hot; something as SIMPLE as fixing crooked teeth, losing weight and trying to improve acne HELP.

 

 

 

 

I also dress very well and know how to use make up well.

 

 

 

 

 

My life did a 180 after my transformation.

 

 

 

Even if you have awful teeth that you cannot afford to fix, and the rest of you is too 'meh' to add much attraction to the picture, you CAN get tips on personal style, haircuts to suit your face, colours to best bring out your features however "plain" they may be..........

 

 

 

 

Something can be done. Something can be improved.

Raena Established Member

Raena

Posted
Posted
I has a face full of acne, crooked teeth, and I was chubby. Plus I have a crooked nose albeit it is not big and it looks nice from a front of angle.

 

 

 

 

 

So I got braces, cured my acne via EXTENSIVE research about hormones, and stopped over eating and using food as a crutch for my lack of life/friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Now I get loads of male interest and I am not even that hot; something as SIMPLE as fixing crooked teeth, losing weight and trying to improve acne HELP.

 

 

 

 

I also dress very well and know how to use make up well.

 

 

 

 

 

My life did a 180 after my transformation.

 

 

 

Even if you have awful teeth that you cannot afford to fix, and the rest of you is too 'meh' to add much attraction to the picture, you CAN get tips on personal style, haircuts to suit your face, colours to best bring out your features however "plain" they may be..........

 

 

 

 

Something can be done. Something can be improved.

 

Leigh, I've noticed you mention teeth quite a few times. Now I know why you are so obsessive about it. lol. I've been wondering all this time... why in the world does she keep talking about teeth? Good for you, glad you were able to improve on the things you wanted to improve on.

 

OP... it's all about your attitude. Do things that make you feel good about you. The better you feel about yourself, the more others will take notice and want to be near you. I don't know what that is... it could be as simple as buying yourself some sexy underpants... seriously! Or it could be that doing something to help others makes you feel better about yourself. Only you know what makes you feel good and satisfied with yourself. Spoil yourself! And stay away from OLD... it's a huge joke anyways. You are better off meeting someone while doing something you enjoy.

quidproquo89 Established Member

quidproquo89

Posted
Posted
Leigh, I've noticed you mention teeth quite a few times. Now I know why you are so obsessive about it. lol. I've been wondering all this time... why in the world does she keep talking about teeth? Good for you, glad you were able to improve on the things you wanted to improve on.

 

OP... it's all about your attitude. Do things that make you feel good about you. The better you feel about yourself, the more others will take notice and want to be near you. I don't know what that is... it could be as simple as buying yourself some sexy underpants... seriously! Or it could be that doing something to help others makes you feel better about yourself. Only you know what makes you feel good and satisfied with yourself. Spoil yourself! And stay away from OLD... it's a huge joke anyways. You are better off meeting someone while doing something you enjoy.

 

 

I feel better about myself when I do the things I SHOULD do also, getting stuck into work, getting more hours, taking on personal projects, tackling fitness and meeting friends.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted
I have tried to improve on my looks, changing my dressing or applying make up . But it seems I'm too ugly for love. I'm also maybe too old to date as most guys are seeking younger girls as eligible partners

 

People date at all ages. There is even a web site out there for people over 50 so you are not too old to date.

 

Since you are open to changing your hair & your make-up have you gotten input from friends or even professionals? Go to a high end salon, make a long appointment & tell them you want a consultation for the stylist to help you select the most flattering hairstyle. Get somebody to teach you to do your make up.

 

You can also make an appointment with an image consultant who can help you pick out the most flattering clothes styles & colors.

 

Join a group like ToastMasters to boost your self esteem. Self confidence is sexy

Mo_Do Established Member

Mo_Do

Posted
Posted

I don't get the "pic exchange" part?

 

Are you dating out of a 90's chat room or something??

 

Go on a normal dating site, upload your pics, make a write up and wait for guys to come to you.

 

Not that hard...

Stay Established Member

Stay

Posted
Posted

A lot of people judge you on your looks way more in online dating. Easiest way is to do it in person, you can win them over by just being a cool and interesting person. You said you have a plain and uninteresting life? Well do something about it and make it interesting. Travel and learn something new that you can talk about. The more you do the more you have to talk about.

WrinkledForehead Established Member

WrinkledForehead

Posted
Posted

Far more than your looks, the thing that struck me most is that you say you are uninteresting.

 

Goal 1) make yourself interesting.

 

Join classes. Read books. Go to art galleries and learn and revel in the world around you. Find some passion in your life and then share it. Other people thrive on passion and charisma and smiles. Share those with others and they will find you more appealing to be around.

J21 Established Member

J21

Posted
Posted

I don't understand why you wouldn't show your picture before initiating contact... shouldn't the other person know, or at least have an idea of who they're talking to?

 

By hiding your picture, you're almost inadvertently admitting that you're some kinda gimmick (but you're not!!).... I don't mean that to be harsh, but the whole process seems a little disingenuous to be honest....

 

Online dating requires a thick skin, and because there are so many people to choose from, they have a very short leash before its: "pass! onto the next!"

 

I would work on the self esteem issues first and be more upfront with my profile once that's taken care of. Don't place a lot of weight on whether your happiness depends on finding a bf or not... the truth is you gotta love yourself first! Because if you don't it's hard for someone else to.

 

If you have the self confidence, you don't care as much if you're single. You know you're a great catch and it's all a matter of being at the right place at the right time.

 

I wish you luck and don't give up!!

  • Like 2
Haydn Established Member

Haydn

Posted
Posted

Self improvement can sometimes give way to a false sense of bravado. Its about meeting someone you connect to. I never done online dating but i am guessing it has very little to do with what you are like but rather how you look. I have friends who have met their partners like this. But they met people with mutual interests or people who were complete opposites. But it seemed to work. In a social setting IE a pub, how you carry yourself matters if you are on the `pull`. Dress how you feel most comfortable, that reflects you. (No Safari suits though). Try to join clubs that reflect your own tastes. If you like Metallica then hit a pub when the lights are low are the make up is black. If you are an Indie kind of person, hit a student bar. keep at it because no one is ugly. (Apart from Kevin Jennings) Who stole my sweet heart away from me when i was 7.

  • Like 1
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted

I'm gonna take some heat here. A lot of people aren't gonna like this post, but I feel I should share it.

 

My cousin who's a girl was born with kind of a large nose, also a large over bite. She's also kinda tall and chubby. She really hated herself and was very depressed and taking medication for it. She'd ask me why I look the way I do and why was she born that way. It would make my eyes teary, it was so bad she would cry and that would make me cry as well.

 

She wanted plastic surgery, problem was it was too expensive for her. So I talked to my aunt (her mother) about it and she said they couldn't afford it. I told her I'd help and gave her a few thousand dollars which wasn't enough. I just couldn't stand to see my cousin that way. Her mother put money on top of that and I'm not sure if more pitched in, or if she's financed the rest, but she had 2 surgeries. One on her nose and they did something with her upper lip. The results didn't show until months after the surgery, but it did work.

 

She's much happier now, no longer so depressed or crying. She went on the to college out of state and we keep in touch on Facebook. She posts so many pictures smiling, with people guys and girls. I'm so happy for her, I don't care about the money I gave her, it was worth it just to see her happy.

  • Like 3
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