somegoodman Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Been working on detaching from my ex-gf. So far I've been fairing well enough; currently at 9 days of No Contact. I've changed her contact information to IGNORE DELETE in my phones/devices and have been training my mind to divert any thoughts of her and our "memories". I'm starting to put my mental focus back on hobbies and career pursuits. I found this impossible a month ago but it has become easier as I've slipped into acceptance. The one issue I still really can't grapple with is sleeping. I've never been a sound sleeper but now it is ridiculous (and unhealthy). I will toss and turn for hours and when I do finally succumb to sleep I am subjected to very intense dreams (nightmares, really). I can never actually remember the details of the dreams but I know they are linked to the break/abortion because I wake up in a sweat with that profound sense of loneliness, like daggers in your chest. I can honestly say that it is physically painful at times. This has been going on for a couple months now and I don't see any signs of it subsiding. What I'm asking for is advice: should I seek medical/pharmaceutical assistance? Is there a way that I can reasonably force myself to sleep easier at night? I know it seems like such a simple task to most but I'm having a really difficult time with it. Any help would be appreciated.
somedude81 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I've been having frequent insomnia ever since my ex dumped me four months ago. Last night I went to bed at 12, and then woke up at 3am. My mind simply refused to fall back asleep so I was on my computer for an hour. Then I went back to bed and eventually manged to fall asleep maybe some time around 4:30. Woke up around 9. Currently I'm taking melatonin before bed, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Like you, I may need to start looking into something else.
Tressugar Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I feel really sad for you. I remember that pain too. Know it does get better with time. One day your tears will be traded in with joy in your heart. I'm living proof it can happen to you.
Author somegoodman Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 I've been having frequent insomnia ever since my ex dumped me four months ago. Last night I went to bed at 12, and then woke up at 3am. My mind simply refused to fall back asleep so I was on my computer for an hour. Then I went back to bed and eventually manged to fall asleep maybe some time around 4:30. Woke up around 9. Currently I'm taking melatonin before bed, but it doesn't seem to be helping. Like you, I may need to start looking into something else. I've tried doseing myself with Benadryl and while this does sometimes help me fall asleep earlier, the dreams actually become more intense and I end up feeling disoriented the next day. I started a new career recently with great benefits so maybe I'll look into an Ambien prescription. Sorry to hear you're going through the same thing somedude, keep me posted on your progress. Thanks for your concern Tressugar.
somedude81 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I've tried doseing myself with Benadryl and while this does sometimes help me fall asleep earlier, the dreams actually become more intense and I end up feeling disoriented the next day. I started a new career recently with great benefits so maybe I'll look into an Ambien prescription. Sorry to hear you're going through the same thing somedude, keep me posted on your progress. Thanks for your concern Tressugar. I'm very wary about getting on a prescription sleep medication. Though maybe the what's needed. Another thing I've considered is going to a sleep clinic and maybe they can figure out what is wrong. Perhaps your benefits would cover something like that.
hudson701 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Valium. You won't even remember falling asleep. My best friend at the moment. But be careful not to become addicted.
BradJacobs Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Work out more rigorously. Drink less caffeine. If you are on wellbutrin or similar then don't take the afternoon dose.
lamis Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Your tossing and turning, is it anxiety related? Since my break up sleep has been difficult for me too, but I have prescription for Xanax because I have Anxiety Disorder. Usually if it takes me 1+ hour to fall asleep I just take one of those and it really helps. It is another option to look into in terms of helping you sleep, especially if your initial inability to fall asleep is due to anxiety. Although, like the others people have mentioned, it is easy to become addicted to -- I try not to take it more than once a twice a week if I can help it.
Jiivy Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 I'd suggest something of a more unorthadox approach - ride it out. I've been a very sound sleeper for years. My ex fiancee had problems about 2 months ago (she since left me for another man) and I've been completely incapable of sleep too. Every night I lie here and I ask myself - do I want her to drive me to medicated sleep? Do I want to become reliant on something else external to me, just like I did my ex? No...she had the best of me and from the sounds of it, yours had the best of you. But I refuse to believe that in our lowest moments we're incapable of building some kind of strength.
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