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Found out some financial background, should it matter?


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Posted

As far as the garnishments, it was just as I expected, a joint bill with his ex-wife. It was in both of their names but she isn't working, he was the co-signer, the bill went to her and when she didn't pay it, they ended up taking it out of his check. He didn't feel he should pay for it because it was truly her bill but since his name was on it and she had no income, they had to take it from him. He got several bills but felt very upset about paying it and before he knew it went to the court for garnishment. He is going to let it come out or possibly pay it off and then take her to court for half once her sorry tail starts working.

Her sorry tail?? Sounds like he (or you) have some resentments to work through and court is a lot of struggle. I'd be leary of someone who blames another for their situation. How is it that he cannot accept responsibility for his half of a legal partnership? That is the deal when getting married - and why you are absolutely correct in checking on this.

 

Not trying to be judgemental here as there are cases where an attitude such as his is correct. But to let it ruin his credit score and go to garnishment? This definately reflects on his character and priorities - which do not seem to match yours.

Posted
Poor financial skills reflect irresponsibility.

 

Yup. It's a reflection of wider problems... hiding things from you and being impulse-driven for starters. Both bad signs for a future together.

 

Quite apart from the fact that financial problems in themselves are one of the biggest sources of relational conflict.

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Posted

My original post was 10 months ago and I am still with him and very much in love. I was being cautious.

 

He treats me great, we get along great and we are best friends.

 

A gold digger I am not, however my ex-husband was horribly irresponsible and his finances should have been my first guess. Everything ended up being in my name through our marriage and he refused to pay for anything when we split, even though he had a nice little credit card habit that went along with a drinking habit.

 

So I guess I am just paranoid of being burned again.

Posted
My original post was 10 months ago and I am still with him and very much in love. I was being cautious.

 

He treats me great, we get along great and we are best friends.

 

A gold digger I am not, however my ex-husband was horribly irresponsible and his finances should have been my first guess. Everything ended up being in my name through our marriage and he refused to pay for anything when we split, even though he had a nice little credit card habit that went along with a drinking habit.

 

So I guess I am just paranoid of being burned again.

 

Hi Guinevere04,

 

My apologies.. I misinterpreted your thoughts.. I just assumed that women give too much importance to how much dollars a guy is making and that pissed me off... why isn't it about my personality and character and instead be about how much money i make and what car i drive???

 

but Hooghie and RecordProducer gave me good replies in another thread (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=73091) and after hearing from them I am now under the impression that not all women are the same... there r some quality women out there that wud go after a guy b'cos he has a wonderful character and personality! I have had some bad experiences where in women that were in love with me refused to commit and backed away 'cos i wasn't living by myself and didn't own a car (i was still re-paying my graduate education loans). that kinda shook me up and gave the idea that i cannot get a woman until i get all the material comforts. and then again if i do get a woman how wud i know whether she is coming to me for me or for all the material things that i have to offer??? i have had one female say to me -> ""I will learn to love you once you settle comfortably with an apartment and a car." i think it's just my bad luck that i happened to come across such sh*tty women.

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Posted

My apologies.. I misinterpreted your thoughts.. I just assumed that women give too much importance to how much dollars a guy is making and that pissed me off... why isn't it about my personality and character and instead be about how much money i make and what car i drive???

 

All I was saying, is that I didn't understand why he would spend money like he does and have credit issues. I felt guilty about him trying to buy me things if he had a garnishment coming out of his check. He's an electrician for pete's sake, do you really think I think he is loaded? Materials things dont mean squat to me but responsibility does.

Posted
All I was saying, is that I didn't understand why he would spend money like he does and have credit issues. I felt guilty about him trying to buy me things if he had a garnishment coming out of his check. He's an electrician for pete's sake, do you really think I think he is loaded? Materials things dont mean squat to me but responsibility does.

 

Yes I do understand your position Guinevere04. I was just telling u my experiences that made me think the way I did. I guess ur guy really loves u very much and wants to impress by buying things for u despite not having the capacity. I dunno, i am just taking a guess. Sometimes love makes us do stupid things...

 

Materials things dont mean squat to me but responsibility does

 

Well said! :cool:

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