SpiralOut Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 (edited) I think I may have met another boundary invader. I went out with some people last night. I had a good time except for one thing: the other chick thinks I am "too serious" about things. I'm not too sure what she means by that, though she might be referring to my sort of "closed off" nature. She is now getting on my nerves, because if someone asks me a question I don't want to answer, and I don't answer it, she says to me "it's not a serious question." She doesn't hide her annoyance. Then the other person asks me again. Umm. . . excuse me? If I don't want to answer something, I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter if it annoys you or not. It doesn't matter if it seems weird, and I really don't care if you dislike me for it. I open up at my own pace, in my own time. I've known these people for a while but don't feel close to them. It is NOT up to you to decide if a question is something I should answer or not. It is up to ME to decide, and if you think I'm being too closed off, that is my choice. Deal with it. I didn't actually say that to her. I just answered the question, since it seemed easier than arguing. But it really bothers me that I didn't tell her to shut up. I've been thinking about it all day today and I decided she must be someone who doesn't completely respect boundaries. She is also pretty mouthy in general. What do you think? Am I imagining things? ETA: Also, it was someone who told me she thinks I am too serious. He kept telling me over and over. Was he trying to warn me that she doesn't like me? Or does he think I am too serious but doesn't have the guts to tell me himself, so instead he just repeats what this other person said about me? It doesn't give me a very good feeling. I don't trust him. Edited April 5, 2014 by SpiralOut
Author SpiralOut Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 (edited) I forgot to mention that nobody else seems bothered that I am this way. If it does bother them, they don't say anything and they don't push at me. The few friends I do have are super respectful. I also suspect that this guy might be negging me, using this girl as a convenient way of doing so? He has negged me in the past, but it was so long ago that I forgot all about it until now. I am feeling angry at myself for being so gullible and having so much trouble telling people off. Edited April 5, 2014 by SpiralOut
mammasita Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Stop hanging out with them. I can understand how they might think you are too serious and it may come across as uptight. At the same time, I can respect that it's just how you are. Obviously they can't deal - if so, screw them. 1
Author SpiralOut Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 Thanks. Well I find it sort of weird that she would think I'm uptight. I hardly ever see her joke or laugh. I've always considered her to be very serious, but not in a bad way. I respected her for that. I joke around more than she does. I am a private person but I can still laugh at myself sometimes. Not sure if I feel upset about this anymore. I think that she is projecting onto me. Interesting.
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