JennHenn Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Met a guy the other night and had a one night stand. That's all that I wanted and I think it's all he wanted at the time too. However, the next day he said he would like to see me again and I said I'd like that too, which brings us to today. He doesn't live in the same town as me, and so had to travel a bit by bus to get here (no car at the moment). We went out for the day and had a really good day. He invited me to an event tomorrow night, although he said he'd have to check to see if he could get me a ticket as it might be difficult. At the end of the date, he asked what I was doing for the rest of the day and asked if I wanted to hang out for a bit longer. I said yeah, and we did and I went to his (but nothing happened, just chilled!). I said I was going to get a bus home soon and he said ok. Here's where it gets weird. He gets a phone call from who he said is a friend of the family from back home (he isn't from this country and hasn't been here long). He asked them to call him back in about 40 minutes. From that point, I felt kinda rushed out of his place. He was like "do you want me to get the bus times up for you so you don't have to wait ages at the the stop?". Then as I left, he said "we'll be in touch". Hmmm. Am I over thinking it, or does that sound kinda weak? Like a 'yeah, yeah, sure I'll call you' (then they don't) kinda moment? Really don't now if I'm over thinking it or if I did/ said something at his place that put him off, as he seemed keen before that. Thanks!
Stay Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Honest answer is we really don't know, there's nothing you can do except wait and keep yourself busy so you don't think about it too much. What you told us really doesn't say much about what he's thinking.
thecrucible Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I don't know but what's helped me in the past is to just get on with my life rather than waiting to hear back from someone. Although it's hard, make sure you distract yourself from the outcome.
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 You're thinking "Girlfriend/wife". I'd be probably thinking that too. If he's not from here, then how accountable can he be to someone XXX miles away? How honest does he have to be to his ONS, on his doorstep? You smell a rat. I don't think your olfactory senses are necessarily fooling you. But he is.
Author JennHenn Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 You're thinking "Girlfriend/wife". I'd be probably thinking that too. If he's not from here, then how accountable can he be to someone XXX miles away? How honest does he have to be to his ONS, on his doorstep? You smell a rat. I don't think your olfactory senses are necessarily fooling you. But he is. He's just moved here but lives here now. Thinking now that what I did was change from the person he met. When we first met, I wasn't really bothered about what he thought, as it was only supposed to be a one night stand. I was confident and fun. Later today though, I realised that I actually really like him and so became self-conscious and a little shy. So if I changed, I can't expect him to like a different person, I guess :/
Strength in Healing Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Met a guy the other night and had a one night stand. This was over before it started. Have some dignity.
Author JennHenn Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 This was over before it started. Have some dignity. I have dignity. Plenty. Nothing wrong with a one night stand, as long as you both understand that that's what it is. However, we both decided afterwards that it would be good to get to know each other as we got on really well. Turns out I really liked him and I think he liked me, up until a point, for what ever reason. I'm only asking whether or not it sounds like he still likes me...
thecrucible Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 This was over before it started. Have some dignity. Well surely the guy should have some dignity too... Have to say I've had a few one night stands and I've never expected anything else from it. How did it happen though OP? How did the date go? Tell us more Did he push something sexual from the get go or did it just 'happen'?
Strength in Healing Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I don't know you, so don't take this as a personal attack, but rather a direct response to your actions -- I can sure as HELL promise you one thing: If you were willing to sleep with me the first day you met me, I sure as hell would not pursue a relationship with you.
thecrucible Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I have dignity. Plenty. Nothing wrong with a one night stand, as long as you both understand that that's what it is. However, we both decided afterwards that it would be good to get to know each other as we got on really well. Turns out I really liked him and I think he liked me, up until a point, for what ever reason. I'm only asking whether or not it sounds like he still likes me... I hope he meant what he said. It depends what type of guy he is. Some guys have more integrity and never say something they don't mean. Other guys just come out with stuff and then change their mind afterwards - so annoying.
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 I don't know you, so don't take this as a personal attack, but rather a direct response to your actions -- I can sure as HELL promise you one thing: If you were willing to sleep with me the first day you met me, I sure as hell would not pursue a relationship with you. Well that would be your loss. As a psychology student, I'm amazed that you would be so biased and judgmental as to dismiss something potentially rewarding out of hand. Simply because someone has sex on a first date, doesn't make them 'Satan's Daughter'. It is perfectly within everyone's right to behave in a way they feel morally comfortable behaving in. Judgement reflects more who YOU are, than who THEY are....
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