VinnyJ Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Well here's my story. Back in September I met this girl Mandy. Mandy had a really bad reputation for being "nuts" but I got to know her, and though everyone was being judgmental. She did have some issues, and was on medication for them, but she was a really sweet girl. We ended up dating and everything was great. She started acting a little funny one day, and I would ask her what it was and she wouldn't answer. My first instinct was "Is she cheating" but I found out she stopped taking her medication and was cutting again. She and I talked about it for a long time and she seemed to have been getting better. One day in late October she cut herself at work, and got fired from the job. This was when I realized she wasn't in the right place for a relationship, so I broke up with a few days after Halloween. I quickly realized this was a mistake but also realized if she's mad at me it's my own fault. She ended up messaging me telling me she missed me. This eventually led to she and I hooking up a few times. She and I hadn't really made anything clear that we were back together or not. One day I'm messaging her online, and she tells me she is supposed to meet up with some dude to have sex. I was upset about this and ended up telling her if you hook up with this guy we can't be friends, as it hurts me. She was pissed and logged off, but ended up logging in a few hours later to tell me she decided not to do it because she valued my friendship. Shortly there after we got back together. Things were a lot better than they had been before. She wasn't hiding her cutting from me, and I was there as support to try and help her quit. Things were good until she started again, only this time worse than ever. She ended up having to go to a mental hospital for 7 months. We talked and agreed to wait for each other, and that we would send letters every day. She left early January. Throughout the month she and I were writing letters to each other and passing them between each other through her father. She sent me a stuffed Frog, a ton of letters, and a homemade valentines day gift. I was in a bad place because I really missed her, but I kept thinking "When she comes back things will be okay". Well I ended up getting a call from her, off some random number, telling me that she left the place and was with some guy who was "keeping her safe". I knew exactly what that meant and broke up with her then and there. She was very calm the whole time, kept telling me about him, telling me I'm over reacting. Then when I tell her we can't be friends she insists. She did tell me that I didn't do anything wrong, and even admitted that she was just "crazy". She left me for him because he's a "Bad Boy" and I'm too nice. This made no sense because, while I did treat her very well, I wouldn't necessarily say I was what one considers a "nice guy". I ended up blocking her number and have been out of contact with her since. Her Dad sent me a text one day to see how I was holding up, and to let me know she is back in the hospital. So obviously this has been a very traumatizing experience for me, as she was my first longer-term girlfriend. The fact that she went from in love with me (according to her letter) to dumping me within a few days really got to me. I thought what we had was real, but I guess not. I still cry thinking about her, and how she broke my heart. The worse part is the fact that she didn't feel any remorse. NONE! I've been extremely depressed since this, and was even put on antidepressants. They don't seem to be working, and I'm still crying a minimum of every few days. I can't control it, I miss her, even though I currently can't stand her. I'm wondering if anyone can offer advice on how to move on. I've had a thing for my best friend Michelle for a while (I posted a thread on here about that) but I gave up on that. It seems like every girl I try to talk to gives me the cold shoulder. One even sent me a text saying we should date, but whenever I asked her to do something she was always "too busy" or she just wouldn't reply. I know I still have feelings for my ex, but I will NOT and CANNOT take her back. She hurt me too much, and I really can't forgive that. I'm concerned she's going to try and get me to take her back, as I've heard this is how she is, and even witnessed it after our first breakup. She knew that the #1 thing in a relationship to me is honesty. How can we have honesty without trust? I can't trust her, therefore I most certainly can't date her. So I'm in a really dark place right now, wanted to rant, as well as ask for advice. Any and all help is appreciated!
Strength in Healing Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Borderline Personality Disorder is a very scary personality disorder. She, more or less, is and will always be incapable of a healthy relationship. It sucks, because the good times were great... but you have to remember, the bad times are hell. There is no known way to really correct BLPD. She won't get better. Not after one or one hundred hospital visits. You can't save her, no one and nothing can. It's best to remember the good times, but REALIZE you created a false illusion of who she was, and what she could one day be. You have to align with reality now.
somegoodman Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Borderline Personality Disorder is a very scary personality disorder. She, more or less, is and will always be incapable of a healthy relationship. It sucks, because the good times were great... but you have to remember, the bad times are hell. There is no known way to really correct BLPD. She won't get better. Not after one or one hundred hospital visits. You can't save her, no one and nothing can. It's best to remember the good times, but REALIZE you created a false illusion of who she was, and what she could one day be. You have to align with reality now. This. Very much this. BPD girls are insane, devious, and cannot be tamed. You will never be truly happy with her in your life.
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