Jump to content

I hate rejecting people :(

thecrucible

By thecrucible
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
  • Author
Posted
sounds like you need to get the law involved

 

I don't want to be forced to be rude to him. How should I broach this? I even try and blow him off by saying I'm really busy each time he asks me to hang out, but then he just pops up and tries again. I told him "I'm not interested in you romantically. Let's just be on friendly terms"....but it doesn't work :/

WP4046 Established Member

WP4046

Posted
Posted
I don't want to be forced to be rude to him. How should I broach this? I even try and blow him off by saying I'm really busy each time he asks me to hang out, but then he just pops up and tries again. I told him "I'm not interested in you romantically. Let's just be on friendly terms"....but it doesn't work :/

 

 

so what would happen if you delete and block him on facebook? he will hurt you in public?

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
The way to reject people is not to say anything because that will only make people mad

 

 

You have to let people take the hint and draw their own conclusions. When a woman wishes me good luck on finding that right one I get angry because i feel like she is acting like an employer.

 

I rather someone not say anything

I completely disagree with you.

 

Nobody should give hints and just hope that the other person will figure it out.

 

I'm a grown man, I can take it when a girl says she isn't interested in me. I prefer for a woman to be direct instead of beating around the bush.

WP4046 Established Member

WP4046

Posted
Posted
I completely disagree with you.

 

Nobody should give hints and just hope that the other person will figure it out.

 

I'm a grown man, I can take it when a girl says she isn't interested in me. I prefer for a woman to be direct instead of beating around the bush.

 

 

 

I don't because some women don't know how to reject which makes me say something nasty

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
I don't because some women don't know how to reject which makes me say something nasty

Huh, if a woman doesn't reject you "properly" it makes you say something nasty?

 

Maybe you could work on that.

 

As for rejecting properly, IMO the best way is a simple, "I'm sorry I'm not attracted/interested" or "I don't like you that way."

  • Author
thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Huh, if a woman doesn't reject you "properly" it makes you say something nasty?

 

Maybe you could work on that.

 

As for rejecting properly, IMO the best way is a simple, "I'm sorry I'm not attracted/interested" or "I don't like you that way."

 

I tried saying that but it hasn't worked on this guy. I think he's got it in my head that I'm just playing hard to get, but in reality I'm just not interested.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
I tried saying that but it hasn't worked on this guy. I think he's got it in my head that I'm just playing hard to get, but in reality I'm just not interested.

If a guy is that dense, then all you can do is completely ignore him.

 

Next time he tries to get somewhere with you tell him, "I am not interested in you. Please leave me alone."

 

Remove him from Facebook, delete his number if you have it, block him everywhere.

 

After you tell him to leave you alone, if you see him in public ignore him. If he puts himself in front of you, tell him that you asked you to leave you alone.

 

Absolutely do not mention friends to him.

  • Author
thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
If a guy is that dense, then all you can do is completely ignore him.

 

Next time he tries to get somewhere with you tell him, "I am not interested in you. Please leave me alone."

 

Remove him from Facebook, delete his number if you have it, block him everywhere.

 

It seems like I'm going to have to do that. I don't even have his number.

 

He just sent me a message asking if I was free. I said no and that I was meeting someone. I don't see why it's his business whether I'm seeing anyone or not.

 

He said "Is this someone you're seeing?". I'm not actually seeing anyone as I just ended things with a guy, but I decided to skirt the question by saying, "Well I'm starting to meet new people because some of my friends have moved away from town".

 

He replied and said: "Why won't you date me?"

 

I know the answer to that obviously but I really don't know what the hell to say to that.

 

Help me please :( This is just upsetting me too much. He is making it really hard for me to reject him nicely. I have already told him on several occasions that I don't want to date him and that I only see him on friendly terms.

 

If he messages me, I reply but keep it friendly. The thing is I'm friendly to everyone so it doesn't mean anything to me (It's not fake either, I genuinely like people). I'm starting to think I need to be cold to any guy I'm not interested in because they always take it the wrong way if I'm being friendly.

 

I know he has been into me for a while. He suggested I date, I said "Sure. That sounds good" but then he never made any arrangements. He never asked me for my number, he just gave me his (I'm stubborn about guys doing that because I take it as the guy wanting me to chase him....)

 

Then I saw him at some party, I was wild drunk and crashed out where I didn't know what was going on. The next thing I know is that I'm half-naked...ewww...then he starts telling me "oh let's have sex and I definitely want a relationship afterwards". I was turned off by that. I was also dating his best friend (the subject of 'What's wrong with my boyfriend' thread) and that guy told me that this guy "just wants to pump you".

 

I swear. I am really really turned off by this guy.

Edited by thecrucible
drew232 Member

drew232

Posted
Posted (edited)

Girls; don't ask a guy to be friends after you reject him, seriously. I just sent this message to a girl;

 

"You didn't want to go out with me and that’s fine. I get that. But you’re wrong and I hate you. BTW You’re the one who acted uninterested and you suck at kissing. Bye." (she told me that I acted uninterested)

 

Am I proud of it? yes/no. Was it the mature thing to do? no. Do I feel better? Yes. She probably feels better about rejecting me because now I'm the jerk and I feel better because well..fck her haha. I highly recommend lashing out at your dumper, everybody wins. Just don't get too mean lol

 

If you're going to dump a guy have some balls and tell him you're not attracted to him. When she told me that I didn't show enough interest (right before dumping me) I continued to chase and it was hard to stay away from her..I feel like I got played.

 

But I've learned my lesson; When they say it's over stop communicating with them completely and move on.

Edited by drew232
Hello_is_it_me Established Member

Hello_is_it_me

Posted
Posted

I'm surprised that those that have such problems with rejecting others don't just go on pity dates with the person so they don't feel bad lol

  • Author
thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm surprised that those that have such problems with rejecting others don't just go on pity dates with the person so they don't feel bad lol

 

Well I'm not that bad haha. I think that's kind of mean and disingenuous.

radiodarcy Established Member

radiodarcy

Posted
Posted

I don't feel too bad about rejecting people - - which is odd considering I've been rejected far more times than I've been rejected myself.

 

Perhaps I get a grim sort of pleasure out of the shoe being on the other foot. Horrible I know, but that's the only reason I can think of...

 

That being said, I usually know if I'm not interested in someone early on. So I end it right there. I know what it's like to be strung along and then be rejected.

 

False hope is the worse and I would rather someone be up front with me than delay the inevitable out of fear of hurting my feelings. I'd rather have the bandage yanked off then peeled away slowly.

Omei Established Member

Omei

Posted
Posted

I dont like rejecting people but the wave of relief after when you no longer have to hide what you're thinking is so worth it once you get it out.

 

Its more work to hide than be honest

  • Author
thecrucible Established Member

thecrucible

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I dont like rejecting people but the wave of relief after when you no longer have to hide what you're thinking is so worth it once you get it out.

 

Its more work to hide than be honest

 

Thank you.

 

I feel like people here are teaching me how to be mature about things. I've made a resolution from now on to just be up front and honest with people, and not to waste my own or anyone else's time by not being up front about things. I'm lucky that people have given me more of a chance even when I've screwed it up in that area.

 

Obviously you can be too honest, but you're right - better to just spit it out than try and hide it.

 

I think this will put me in good stead for my next romantic relationship.

 

:)

  • Like 1
Hello_is_it_me Established Member

Hello_is_it_me

Posted
Posted
Thank you.

 

I feel like people here are teaching me how to be mature about things. I've made a resolution from now on to just be up front and honest with people, and not to waste my own or anyone else's time by not being up front about things. I'm lucky that people have given me more of a chance even when I've screwed it up in that area.

 

Obviously you can be too honest, but you're right - better to just spit it out than try and hide it.

 

I think this will put me in good stead for my next romantic relationship.

 

:)

 

 

Being upfront and honest is the best but also don't be afraid to embrace the power of IGNORING! It sends a strong message of "get lost creep" lol. It should have been used with the guy you were just talking about that wouldn't leave you alone. By even replying at all you're feeding into his delusion that he has a chance.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
Being upfront and honest is the best but also don't be afraid to embrace the power of IGNORING! It sends a strong message of "get lost creep" lol. It should have been used with the guy you were just talking about that wouldn't leave you alone. By even replying at all you're feeding into his delusion that he has a chance.

I feel that ignoring should only be used after you have told the guy to leave you alone.

 

Too many women turn to ignoring far too soon and it's frustrating as a to be ignored when you have no idea that's what the woman is doing. If we're still on good terms it's easy to give the woman the benefit of the doubt.

Hello_is_it_me Established Member

Hello_is_it_me

Posted
Posted
I feel that ignoring should only be used after you have told the guy to leave you alone.

 

Too many women turn to ignoring far too soon and it's frustrating as a to be ignored when you have no idea that's what the woman is doing. If we're still on good terms it's easy to give the woman the benefit of the doubt.

 

Nah. I've learned to not rely on false hope. Ignoring is just another way to send/receive a message. If i'm ever ignored, I understand and accept.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
Nah. I've learned to not rely on false hope. Ignoring is just another way to send/receive a message. If i'm ever ignored, I understand and accept.

As foolish as it sounds, I still carry around hope.

 

It takes me a while to realize that I'm being ignored.

mikefromtheblock Member

mikefromtheblock

Posted
Posted
It just makes me feel so sad. I feel bad about it. Like I had to reject this guy recently because I realised I saw him more like a brother. He's a really good guy as well and I wish I'd felt a spark. :(

 

Do you ever get like this? I feel way worse rejecting someone than someone rejecting me. I need to get over it because I end up leaving it way too long before sharing my honest feelings.

 

Then you need learn to say "no" as early as possible ;)

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...