JSmiles Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 What are some ways to tell if a girl is flirting or showing interest or just being friendly/getting to know someone? It is something I have a hard time telling and don't want to assume this girl is flirting when she isn't. We work together.
carhill Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Relative to others on location, if you note her body language and voice tones and demeanor change when interacting with you versus other males, that's one sign of being singled out, realistically for purposes unknown. Only way to figure it out is to go with it and attempt to progress it. Answers usually come fairly rapidly. I've experienced the gamut with women and don't put any stock in 'friendliness' whatsoever; however, that's more a function of age and cynicism so take it FWIW. Generally, the 'friendliest' and most 'flirtatious' women I encounter turn out to be married. Hope your experience differs markedly. Good luck!
J21 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Stay away from dating where you work. One wrong step and you can get into all sorts of unnecessary headache (unwelcome advancement, sexual harassment accusations, and etc). If it doesn't end well, then it's an awkward environment as well. There are plenty of other girls out there, not worth the risk man.
Author JSmiles Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 I haven't given any thought to whether I want to date her or not, so being a co-worker isn't so much an issue right now. Should also mention we are both females, she is a lesbian.
carhill Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 IME, at least from interactions with gay males, the same processes of observing 'unique' interaction tone and demeanor would apply. This usually happens when people 'fit' together well. Things flow in a way which doesn't happen with others. IMO, if you enjoy her being 'friendly', mirror that and see where it goes.
thecrucible Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I'm not sure. I think you can tell by body language and overall demeanor, how much physical space she wants to have. I don't know because I flirt a lot unintentionally, but when I'm not really interested I definitely hold back a bit and I don't tend to linger with eye contact or get up in their personal space. I think when you're looking for it you can't tell, but generally you know when someone's flirting with you.
shet Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 There are no ways to just tell, you have to actively find out. People are too different. One person's friendly is another's flirting, or another's attention seeking psych disorder. I've been told I was flirted with by women who actually seemed cold and aloof to me.
Stay Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I haven't given any thought to whether I want to date her or not, so being a co-worker isn't so much an issue right now. Should also mention we are both females, she is a lesbian. Excuse my ignorance but shouldn't you understand how flirty a girl is because you're a girl yourself? What I notice is when a girl is into you they tend to give that tap/hit when you make fun of them, etc. I notice a lot of girls really look deep into your eyes when they like you. I also notice that they tend to talk about you a lot is when you're on their minds a lot.
thecrucible Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 There are no ways to just tell I think it's good to have observers, some of your friends around to suss out people (especially opposite sex friends) to figure out who's into you and who's not. I can never tell when a guy's checking me out and then some male friend of mine lets me know.
Author JSmiles Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Excuse my ignorance but shouldn't you understand how flirty a girl is because you're a girl yourself? What I notice is when a girl is into you they tend to give that tap/hit when you make fun of them, etc. I notice a lot of girls really look deep into your eyes when they like you. I also notice that they tend to talk about you a lot is when you're on their minds a lot. That is part of the problem. I don't flirt a lot, not in recent years especially. I have been told I was flirting with someone when I wasn't, and when I was flirting it didn't come across that way. I also have a hard time sometimes telling when people (until now, men) are flirting, because I tend to ignore the obvious and read too much into things. In this situation, even if it turns out we stay just friends, I don't want to read too much into or assume she is either friendly or flirty when she is the opposite.
Mrin Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I'm really bad at telling but I've been told: 1. Does she make physical contact with you. Arm touches etc... 2. Watch for her skin to flush - particularly neckline 3. Eye contact. How strong is it? 4. Does she use a different posture or voice with you? 5. Does she have a tendency to nibble your ear and purrrr? Yes it once took until #5 for me to figure it out once a long time ago.
Author JSmiles Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 Since we work together I don't know how she interacts with everyone else. I know she said she is different with me and what I have seen that is true. She has only recently touched me at all, but we have only known each other a few months, and that was putting her arm around me. I am not good with eye contact so I tend to not make it as much as I should with anyone.
Author JSmiles Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 I forgot to mention that she recently teased me about some things, or tried to and asked if I was human.
spiderowl Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Do you have any idea if she's a lesbian or not? I think it must be difficult to tell. I am heterosexual and if a woman was flirting with me, I don't know if I'd realise she was a lesbian. I'm a bit wary of women who are more friendly than usual or seem to want to spend a lot of exclusive time with me, because I'm not seeking that kind of relationship with a female. Maybe I'm just unfriendly anyway
Author JSmiles Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 Do you have any idea if she's a lesbian or not? I think it must be difficult to tell. I am heterosexual and if a woman was flirting with me, I don't know if I'd realise she was a lesbian. I'm a bit wary of women who are more friendly than usual or seem to want to spend a lot of exclusive time with me, because I'm not seeking that kind of relationship with a female. Maybe I'm just unfriendly anyway I know she is a lesbian.
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