gizmo1818 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 So I've been talking to this girl I've met on OLD. Who I made my previous post about. So my situation is she's flaked on me several times now. We had plans to go out last Friday and then got moved to Saturday before it was cancelled altogether. Her excuse for Friday was that she was babysitting her cousins all week and ended up having to babysit longer that she thought so we moved it to Saturday. On Saturday she cancelled again because she said her god daughter had a seizure and she had to go to the emergency room with her. Now that was all fine with me, I was completely understanding. Then we made plans to go to lunch this past Monday and she cancelled that because she said she got Strep Throat. At this point I was like, are you kidding me? So fast forward to today we had plans to have a movie night tonight and she called to cancel again because she still wasn't feeling well. We're supposed to go to a baseball game tomorrow which I paid quite a bit of money for tickets and I don't know if I should take her as the flake today was kind of the last straw for me. She's been completely apologetic every time she's had to cancel and keeps saying this is the worst two weeks she's had ever. She keeps reassuring me that she's still interested. I just don't know if I believe her at this point. I basically told her today that I'm trying to be understanding, but it's pretty hard to believe she's even interested. I told her talk is cheap and she needs to show me. Should I give her another chance?
soccerrprp Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Go to the game w/o her. Plan something for later next week and see what happens. If that is canceled, I would tell her good luck, but that she doesn't seem ready for a relationship right now. Bad timing and you need to move on.
marcjb Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Offer to go visit her and spend time with her while she is sick… offer to help take can of her and bring some soup. If she declines, she's not telling the truth. 2
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Put those baseball tickets up on stubhub asap
ChatroomHero Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Well if you want to wait until it is time to leave for the game and get another lame cancellation excuse and get stuck with trying to find someone to go with at the last minute, by all means, give her another chance. At the very least call up a friend and take them to the game. If she calls about going, tell her you weren't willing to take a chance she would still be sick and that after cancelling 4 times or whatever, you didn't want to risk eating the cost of the ticket. Basically you establish that your time and money are important and she should respect that. If she wants to do something then you can meet her after, on your terms or not at all. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Don't take her to the game. Invite a friend instead. Her track record sucks and I wouldn't rely on her to pull through this time. Also, stop making plans with her. If she really wants to see you, she'll take a little initiative and reach out.
slizl Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 If I were in that situation, I would give her another chance cause life happens (sick, emergencies, etc.). However, I would definitely have her set up the next date, not you. One more text about her setting up the next date and no contact from then on out, unless she sets the date up of course.
Valen Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I usually only give them 2 chances. If after 2 attempts and they cancel for any reasons, there will be no third offer after that. Only way I would give a 3rd try is if they are the one initiating, asking me out. I find that a girl that really does like you will try and set something up. If they don't then you know they weren't that interested in the first place and move on.
HappyLove Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Have you two ever met in person? Wondering if she's a catfish. I've dumped guys for not meeting up with me to online chat after promised because time and time again people show you who they are THE FIRST TIME as Maya Angelou says. You teach people how to treat you and I don't see this getting any better. She WILL continue to be a flake. I'd move on if I were you. Every guy who flaked on me and I gave a second chance to continued to do it and were a huge waste of time.
Author gizmo1818 Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Have you two ever met in person? Wondering if she's a catfish. I've dumped guys for not meeting up with me to online chat after promised because time and time again people show you who they are THE FIRST TIME as Maya Angelou says. You teach people how to treat you and I don't see this getting any better. She WILL continue to be a flake. I'd move on if I were you. Every guy who flaked on me and I gave a second chance to continued to do it and were a huge waste of time. Yep, if you read my last post, we've been on one date two weeks ago. It went really well, it turned into about a 5 hour date. We've talked just about every day since then. She's been pretty good about offering another day if she can't make it and seemed really upset when she's had to cancel. Which are really the only reasons I'm questioning if I should give her another chance as she's seemed pretty sincere. If she didn't do those things I would have next'd her a while ago.
HappyLove Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Doesn't strep throat take a while to heal anyways how could she be better already?
Author gizmo1818 Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) Doesn't strep throat take a while to heal anyways how could she be better already? It does. She told me she's been to the hospital twice now this week to get IV antibiotics for it, so it must be bad. If she is telling the truth. She said she still wasn't feeling well, but she wanted to see me so we made plans for tonight and as of this morning they were still on. Then she texts me a couple hours ago says she just got out of the Dr. and he said she's still contagious so she can't hang out. I basically said you've cancelled on me 5 times now prove to me that you are interested and you should come to my place if you really are interested. She said she just wants to get better and needs the night to rest if she's going to the game tomorrow. I then told her that I would go to her and take care of her and just hang out tonight, but she hasn't responded yet to that. Edited April 4, 2014 by gizmo1818
Author gizmo1818 Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 So an update on this... We had a minor disagreement yesterday afternoon about her flaking so much, I ended up telling her not to worry about it and to get better because I thought it was silly to argue over something like that if she is sick. She didn't reply to this last text. I tried calling her later to confirm she still wanted to go to the game. No answer and no call back. So luckily I was able to sell the tickets online late last night. I tried calling again this morning as it is really weird for her not to call back or reply to my texts. No answer. She doesn't know I sold the tickets and the game is in two hours. I think it's pretty rude that she hasn't even at least let me know she can't go. Even if I hated someone I would at least be courteous enough to let them know ahead of time I couldn't make it. Especially if they paid money for tickets to something.
starrynightz45 Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 So an update on this... We had a minor disagreement yesterday afternoon about her flaking so much, I ended up telling her not to worry about it and to get better because I thought it was silly to argue over something like that if she is sick. She didn't reply to this last text. I tried calling her later to confirm she still wanted to go to the game. No answer and no call back. So luckily I was able to sell the tickets online late last night. I tried calling again this morning as it is really weird for her not to call back or reply to my texts. No answer. She doesn't know I sold the tickets and the game is in two hours. I think it's pretty rude that she hasn't even at least let me know she can't go. Even if I hated someone I would at least be courteous enough to let them know ahead of time I couldn't make it. Especially if they paid money for tickets to something. That is so incredibly rude of her. I hope at this point, you drop her. 1
HappyLove Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 She's shown you umpteen times now that she's a huge waste of time and a big ol FLAKE. If you keep trying to date this girl you can only blame yourself from here on out. She's shown you who she is.
SoonMyFriend Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 Drop her. She is not interested. After this latest stunt I'd say she is not worth your time. That is plain rude and selfish. Move on to a better girl who will appreciate your attention and return it. Side note I had strep throat in February and I would have KILLED for someone to bring me soup.
Author gizmo1818 Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 Oh believe me I'm done with her. What little credibility she still had before today is gone. I guess I was too nice, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she tried to walk all over me.
deathandtaxes Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 (edited) So an update on this... We had a minor disagreement yesterday afternoon about her flaking so much, I ended up telling her not to worry about it and to get better because I thought it was silly to argue over something like that if she is sick. She didn't reply to this last text. I tried calling her later to confirm she still wanted to go to the game. No answer and no call back. So luckily I was able to sell the tickets online late last night. I tried calling again this morning as it is really weird for her not to call back or reply to my texts. No answer. She doesn't know I sold the tickets and the game is in two hours. I think it's pretty rude that she hasn't even at least let me know she can't go. Even if I hated someone I would at least be courteous enough to let them know ahead of time I couldn't make it. Especially if they paid money for tickets to something. Chill the heck out!! Just be frelling cool for a few days. Don't text. Don't call. Nothing. Let her contact you when she's better. You should never have made it an issue about her flaking. Nobody wants to be called out on their crap by somebody they've only gone out with one time. Life happens. People do get sick. What precipitated your argument or whatever it was with her about the flaking? Edited April 5, 2014 by deathandtaxes
Author gizmo1818 Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 Chill the heck out!! Just be frelling cool for a few days. Don't text. Don't call. Nothing. Let her contact you when she's better. You should never have made it an issue about her flaking. Nobody wants to be called out on their crap by somebody they've only gone out with one time. Life happens. People do get sick. What precipitated your argument or whatever it was with her about the flaking? Prior to her getting sick on Monday she had flaked on me 3 times the previous week. I told her it wasn't a big deal, stuff happens. This past Sunday we made plans to do lunch on Monday. Then Monday morning she tells me she has strep. I tell her it's not a big deal again. So we make plans for last night for her to just come over and watch movies since she isn't feeling good. She tells me all week how she's excited to see me on Friday. I talk to her yesterday morning everything is still on, she's not coming over until 8pm because she has errands to run and stuff. Then in the afternoon she tells me: "You're officially going to hate me, but the Dr. said I'm still contagious so I can't come over". I said I don't hate you, but I do think you're not interested. She said that's not the case and that she just wants to go home and rest if she's going to the baseball game with me. At this point I'm kind of frustrated. I said "It's whatever. Get to feeling better. I can try and find someone else to go to the game if you're not up to it." Didn't get a response to that one, so about an hour later I basically tell her I'm sorry for getting upset and I'll bring her some soup if she wants since she's not feeling good. No reply to that. Called her like 4 or 5 hours later to see if she was still planning on going to the game, no answer or call back. This was all over text, so maybe that was the problem, but that's exactly what happened and where it's been left at today.
deathandtaxes Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 The sick excuse is very insidious. Unless you absolutely know otherwise, you have to take them on their word. But the most pressing thing about this is that she already flaked on you three times the previous week. What excuses did she give? I would imagine you're her backup plan in a case like this. Or just a text buddy. But THREE TIMES IN A WEEK? Dude! WTF?
Author gizmo1818 Posted April 6, 2014 Author Posted April 6, 2014 The sick excuse is very insidious. Unless you absolutely know otherwise, you have to take them on their word. But the most pressing thing about this is that she already flaked on you three times the previous week. What excuses did she give? I would imagine you're her backup plan in a case like this. Or just a text buddy. But THREE TIMES IN A WEEK? Dude! WTF? Yeah, I probably overreacted about the whole sick thing, but at that point I was tired of all the excuses. She said she was babysitting her niece and nephew all week. We had plans Thursday, but she ended up having to babysit late. She offered to move it to Friday. Then she used the same excuse again. She offered to move it to Saturday and then an hour before we were supposed to meet up she said her god daughter had a seizure and she had to go to the hospital. So those were her excuses last week.
deathandtaxes Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I wouldn't give another thought to this one. Pass!!! One flake could be ok. We've all been there. Especially if they apologize and offer to reschedule. But the second time? No thanks. You're just being her doormat right now. Don't be a doormat.
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