lad1234 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Hi my ex broke up with me about a month ago, it did come as quite a surprise but simply because she broke up with me, I'd been having my own thoughts about ending the relationship but yeah it came from no where and her reasons was , because I've got a lot going on like learning to drive , work and starting a part time college course ( all stuff that she was doing the whole time basically) so I got my own closure by telling myself she either cheating on me OR she started doin drugs again , before I was with her she was quite bad on this certain drug and she did it again about 2 weeks before she broke up with me. Right so she broke up with me, cool, I just got on with it I didn't beg her once and I accepted it and told her we shouldn't speak for a bit, she was well upset by this and was telling me she was confused and didn't know what she wanted so i told her thats unfaor on Me and If she didn't want me then fine, so a month and a lil bit has passed and we've had no interaction at all,then her friend who introduced us is asking me to go out with her tonight !?!? The friend in question did introduce us but I never liked her and I'm sure she would of known this cuz I didn't like my ex hanging with her and she would complain about me to her.. I don't know how my ex feels and plus what is her friend doing can anyone shed some light on this please cuz I'm at a loss
disparate Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Hi my ex broke up with me about a month ago, it did come as quite a surprise but simply because she broke up with me, I'd been having my own thoughts about ending the relationship but yeah it came from no where and her reasons was , because I've got a lot going on like learning to drive , work and starting a part time college course ( all stuff that she was doing the whole time basically) so I got my own closure by telling myself she either cheating on me OR she started doin drugs again , before I was with her she was quite bad on this certain drug and she did it again about 2 weeks before she broke up with me. Right so she broke up with me, cool, I just got on with it I didn't beg her once and I accepted it and told her we shouldn't speak for a bit, she was well upset by this and was telling me she was confused and didn't know what she wanted so i told her thats unfaor on Me and If she didn't want me then fine, so a month and a lil bit has passed and we've had no interaction at all,then her friend who introduced us is asking me to go out with her tonight !?!? The friend in question did introduce us but I never liked her and I'm sure she would of known this cuz I didn't like my ex hanging with her and she would complain about me to her.. I don't know how my ex feels and plus what is her friend doing can anyone shed some light on this please cuz I'm at a loss You've done the right thing in not begging/pleading and maintaining NC, keep it up mate! With regards to the friend, regardless of the reason why she's asking you out, I would steer well clear because you said you don't even like her. It could be the case that your ex is trying to gauge if you're over her, might be a trap for her to move on easier because you're "cheating" on her. It might simply be that the friend was interested for some time but in any case you're not interested and it might get ugly. Just ignore is my two cents.
Author lad1234 Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 I kind of want her to contact me but only so that feeling of rejection could ease a bit but at the end of the day I was unhappy in our relationship and after all this time of nc I know I wouldn't get back with her, if she wants to find out that's ok because shed only get not really caring information out of me, although I do care otherwise I wouldn't be posting on here, I'm kind of dreading my ex being there tonight if I was to go round, all seens a bit weird plus she was asking me about this other girl in my profile picture aswell like" are you seeing that girl" I secretly am but said I wasn't because I'm not sure how I'd handle a retaliation from my ex !
Zahara Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 There's no need to understand why the friend is doing this. What you need to do is stay away from the friend and keep up with no contact. There's nothing to analyze.
Zahara Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I kind of want her to contact me but only so that feeling of rejection could ease a bit but at the end of the day I was unhappy in our relationship and after all this time of nc I know I wouldn't get back with her, if she wants to find out that's ok because shed only get not really caring information out of me, although I do care otherwise I wouldn't be posting on here, I'm kind of dreading my ex being there tonight if I was to go round, all seens a bit weird plus she was asking me about this other girl in my profile picture aswell like" are you seeing that girl" I secretly am but said I wasn't because I'm not sure how I'd handle a retaliation from my ex ! That's your ego talking. I'm not sure why you are seeking drama in your life. All your efforts with NC is going to be wasted and you'll be stuck at square one again. An ex is an ex. You stay away from them. You stay away from triggers. You stay away from drama. You stay away from any sort of situation that can derail you and cause you more problems. There was no point in doing NC if you were not doing it to heal and move on from this.
Author lad1234 Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Yeah your right I know its my ego there, i get that I'm just being honest about what i wanted, my nc has worked for me like I know I don't want her , I had a bad break up about 2 years ago and tbh that helped me in a weird way because this relationship never was close to that one , I don't think I was ever truly in love with this one and that makes me sad
Chi townD Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Well, it could be for a couple of reasons, but I know one thing for sure. When a girl says she's confused, it usually because she's confused about her feelings for you and for someone else. But, if they're breaking up with you, then they can't be that confused. As far as her friend is concerned, she may have introduced you, but I have a feeling that she started to develop feelings for you. She saw that you're getting your life together and doing things for yourself. That's an attractive quality that a lot of girls like. So, she could have been bad mouthing you to her to get her to break up with you so she could have a crack at you. Hell, she could have introduced her to the new guy that she was "confused" about. She knows you're broken up and may think that enough time has past. OR This girl wants to get with you at the request of your Ex to see how you're doing. If you're sticking to a strict NC program, she has no other way of knowing.
Author lad1234 Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Cheers everyone for your comments, when she broke up wit me them two had fallen out and they made up last weekend Appaz and now her friend is speaking to me, also her friend asked me what I'm doing tonight to which I replied getiin merry and she replied can I jump on that boat with you then, i really don't think this girl likes me in that way plus she knows that I know all the bad things about her and trust me there bad ! She's a druggie aswell
Zahara Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Cheers everyone for your comments, when she broke up wit me them two had fallen out and they made up last weekend Appaz and now her friend is speaking to me, also her friend asked me what I'm doing tonight to which I replied getiin merry and she replied can I jump on that boat with you then, i really don't think this girl likes me in that way plus she knows that I know all the bad things about her and trust me there bad ! She's a druggie aswell Stay away.
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