acapelo_dp Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Hey all, so I have been dealing with some problems with my roommate this week. I moved to a new city 9 months ago and I moved in with this girl Sarah 5 months ago when she put an ad online looking for one and I needed a place. I did not know her at all initially and we got along well. The apartment that I moved into was furnished from the guy we were subletting from, so I did not need to buy furniture. Fast forward to last month, Sarah wanted to move out of the apartment as she did not like the area and our renter was not answering his phone to fix things. Initially I did not want to move as the place was cheap and we would be breaking our lease , but I did not want to find a new roommate so I agreed to move with her. We found a place , and we were to move in April 1st. She asked if I could leave work early to make the walk through of our new place and then help her move her things (she had A LOT) and I didn't have much so I said yes but I will have to buy a bed that night as well since I won't have one. (FYI she is unemployed at the moment because she quit her job and is starting a new one next month) Anyways so I arrived to help her move and three other guys were helping her as well. I pretty much felt in the way so I helped but stood back a bit and then she kept being like "can you move these things. And these" pretty much demanding me around. And so I make a 5 minute phone call to my boyfriend to arrange for him to get my things and when we would get a bed and she interrupted my phone call and asked me to do something. Which is fine I get it but I didn't feel it was my responsibility to help her move out and in when she has three strong guys helping her and I have to purchase things so I can sleep for that night and go to work at 6:30 the next morning, Anyways she texted me to ask me to big a few things for the apartment and I said sure, but I didn't get a chance to when I bought my bed since I was in a rush and the store was closing in 15 mins and my boyfriend is my only ride. So Sarah asked to chat with me lastnight, as she is heading to Mexico for a week today, she told me basically she was hurt and felt that I was not helping as much as I should and she shouldn't have to ask me to help her unpack and do things I should want to. And I told her I was going this weekend to buy the apartment some things it needs as I work days and can only get a ride when my boyfriend is off work. I am financially in a rut, and she told me she is doing all the work buying things and she is in the hole - yet she pays for a trip to Mexico. I feel like I am being attacked and I am working all week and I have zero money not even for food. I'm not the type to confront people and I am very independent and do my own thing. I just feel like I should be able to do everything for the apartment this weekend when I have a day off. She said she organized the apartment just for me so it would look nice when she left for Mexico and I didn't thank her or anything. Forgive me but I feel like her things are her responsibly and I am more than willig to help when I'm asked but I'm not a mind reader. I just have a lot going on with finances and work, and my mom passed away last month. I feel like this roommate thing is pushing me over the edge. Am I the one being in reasonable and am I being unhelpful?
darkmoon Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) put up a rota, you don't want to row, tell her nicely sit with her and have a coffee, get out a calendar and ask her what her best days are, it sounds like you have to appease her, tbh, perhaps things will settle down then, I think she is bickering atmo, try not to bicker back, rota, avoid future misunderstandings, make a happy home Edited April 4, 2014 by darkmoon
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