elseaacych Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I'm not very spontaneous. I love to plan things in the sense that I have a list of things that I want to get done in a given day or week, and while they may not have a time frame on them, they get done. And I do a lot, so to many people this makes it appear that I am very detail oriented and schedule driven... but really, I am just disciplined and try to make the best use of my time. I am also a workaholic. Planning social events is important to me because I am naturally introverted, and will find something to do on my own if I don't have anything social planned when done with work. But I generally won't call someone up and be like "hey, wanna go do this?" on the random if I don't know them well, or aren't interested in getting to know them better. Does this automatically make me incompatible with people who are spontaneous, because I need to plan my social life and won't generally plan to be social unless it is in advance?
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Has there been specific times when you dated people that spontaneously did things and it made you uncomfortable? Then if so, you probably aren't compatible with that type. Though on the other hand, someone who is slightly spontaneous may help you break out of your comfort zone and learn to enjoy a little less rigidity. A slight Introvert and slight Extrovert will compliment each other very well. It's when they both are extremes that problems will occur. An extremely introverted person will mesh much better with a slight introvert or maybe even a very slight extrovert much much better than an extreme extrovert.
Author elseaacych Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) A slight Introvert and slight Extrovert will compliment each other very well. It's when they both are extremes that problems will occur. An extremely introverted person will mesh much better with a slight introvert or maybe even a very slight extrovert much much better than an extreme extrovert. The thing is, I don't feel very rigid. I have an internal disordered form of organization that makes sense to me. It's a kind of unstructured structure that just is primarily interested in accomplishing tasks, how it's done is no matter. But it is still task based. I dated someone for a very long time who I could never figure out whether he was primarily introverted or extroverted. He just characterized himself as "spontaneous", and was never on time for things he planned with me. the longer he was in the relationship I guess another question is whether these things are related. The spontenaety, with him, I only saw when I was on dates. He'd be like "let's go do this," and I would agree to it, because I was already on a date with him and am generally game for "whatever" if it can fit in the context of the date or the "structure". But I received few phone calls from him on the random saying "let's go do this". Often times, I was already working on something and had to put him off. (But always made sure to schedule something else.) I guess it's a question of structured spontenaety will put off the truly spontaneous. Edited April 4, 2014 by elseaacych
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 The thing is, I don't feel very rigid. I have an internal disordered form of organization that makes sense to me. It's a kind of unstructured structure that just is primarily interested in accomplishing tasks, how it's done is no matter. But it is still task based. I dated someone for a very long time who I could never figure out whether he was primarily introverted or extroverted. He just characterized himself as "spontaneous", and was never on time for things he planned with me. the longer he was in the relationship I guess another question is whether these things are related. The spontenaety, with him, I only saw when I was on dates. He'd be like "let's go do this," and I would agree to it, because I was already on a date with him and am generally game for "whatever" if it can fit in the context of the date or the "structure". But I received few phone calls from him on the random saying "let's go do this". Often times, I was already working on something and had to put him off. (But always made sure to schedule something else.) I guess it's a question of structured spontenaety will put off the truly spontaneous. Ah... I think I was thrown off by your usage of the word "introvert" in the first post. Because if we can continue on the Meyers/Briggs train of thought, this seems more like a clashing of Judging vs. Perceiving types. My MBTI Personality Type - MBTI Basics - Judging or Perceiving 1
TAV Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 My bf is a bit the ocd type, I am very impulsive; I like to think we work well together
Author elseaacych Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Ah... I think I was thrown off by your usage of the word "introvert" in the first post. Because if we can continue on the Meyers/Briggs train of thought, this seems more like a clashing of Judging vs. Perceiving types. My MBTI Personality Type - MBTI Basics - Judging or Perceiving YEAH. That is it what I was describing. Do you know of any places that have any hard data or advice on how to deal with P s and being flexible enough to deal with thme?
Babolat Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Take a look at this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/469813-introvert-dating-extrovert-your-experiences The answer is, it depends. I'm a planner too and my ex gf was more spontaneous. Sometimes I loved it; sometimes it drove me nuts. She was never on time either. Sometimes up to an hour late. THAT drove me nuts. Not a deal breaker, and we talked about compromises and better communication, it still drove me nuts though.
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