Calvo Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) I've been with my girlfriend for 2 months, not a long time I know. It seemed to be going well then last week she broke up with me. I'm 25 she's 22. She said she'd lost the attraction (which is strange as we'd been sleeping together a few days before.) she also gave the following reasons: We seem more like friends, we're too similar and we get on too well. She's adamant there's nobody else, but I find it strange that attraction can be lost that quick and being too similar and getting along too well as reasons to break up? Cheers Edited April 4, 2014 by Calvo Spelling
almond Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 It may very well be that she simply lost attraction...she no longer felt a spark. It could also be that she is just saying this to spare you from the real reasons...who knows. The one thing I do know though is that none of that matters. You know that she doesn't want to be with you anymore. You know that just because she doesn't, that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, or anything that you have to change. You don't want someone that doesn't want you. Stop worrying about her reasons - just focus on moving forward with your life, and continually working on improving yourself in ways that matter to you. Do not contact her, and ignore any and all contact from her. You need to move on now, and look forward to your future and finding that person that will love you completely. 2
Author Calvo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Certainly did David! Almond, she said that as well, lost the spark and no butterflies, surely that's only meant to be an initial feeling though, I've never understood the while spark thing. Doesn't seem like a proper reason to me.
mangetout Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Its most likely that she didn't suddenly come to this decision. She was thinking about breaking up for a while. You can enjoy someone's company and enjoy sex with them but it doesn't mean that this person wants to truly commit to you. Move on fast. 2
almond Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Almond, she said that as well, lost the spark and no butterflies, surely that's only meant to be an initial feeling though, I've never understood the while spark thing. Doesn't seem like a proper reason to me. It certainly is a "proper reason," especially considering it has only been two months - that's still early in the honeymoon stage. If my attraction for a man was fading fast after only a few weeks, I'd definitely consider pulling the pin - be thankful you weren't led on for many months. Anyway like I said in my previous post - it doesn't matter why. All that matters is that she doesn't want to be with you, and dwelling on it and pointlessly speculating about all her possible secret reasons is silly and counterproductive. She gave you her reasons - she has lost attraction for you after only being with you for a short time. Take her at her word, and move on. 3
Author Calvo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 I've never understood the sparks thing as I never really felt them but what you say seems right, Almond. I wasn't sure how attraction can go in such a short space of time but never mind, maybe it was never there.
somedude81 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I've never understood the sparks thing as I never really felt them but what you say seems right, Almond. I wasn't sure how attraction can go in such a short space of time but never mind, maybe it was never there. It might have never been there. She may also be feeling that she jumped into sex too quickly. Either way it doesn't sound like you can save the relationship. 1
Author Calvo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Yeah she actually said that too. Move on fast seems to be the way forward.
lolablue17 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I've never understood the sparks thing as I never really felt them You said it all, man. She has noticed that. 1
somedude81 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Yeah she actually said that too. Move on fast seems to be the way forward. If she said that, then it's clear what she thinks. Odds are if you guys didn't have sex so soon, she would have most likely broken up with you before you two had sex. Though since you did have sex, she may have felt obligated to try and make it work, but she just wasn't able to do it. Yup move on quick. Hopefully you didn't get too attached to her. 1
Author Calvo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 I did to be honest, probably why I posted on here, haha. Still, I never even knew who she was a few months ago. I'm sure ill be fine. 1
Author Calvo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 You said it all, man. She has noticed that. How do you mean? I've given off something that's put her off?
Chi townD Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I got good news and some bad news for you. Bad news is that your relationship was soooo short that I can't get a pulse on the reason why she may have pulled the plug on the relationship. The good news is that because the relationship was so short, it shouldn't take you too long to heal and move on from this.
mangetout Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I've never understood the sparks thing as I never really felt them but what you say seems right, Almond. I wasn't sure how attraction can go in such a short space of time but never mind, maybe it was never there. When you feel a spark with someone it feels like a soul connection. Like you have known this person all your life. Like you have found home. You never want to leave them. Its more than having good company and sex. Its more spiritual I guess Thats my interpretation of spark. 1
Koans Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Did she just come out of a long term relationship before she got involved with you?
Koans Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Did she recently come out of a long term relationship before dumping you?
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