catchthedrift Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Boyfriend and I are going on to 5 months. Very happy together, spending almost every day in each others company, or with common friends. Amazing sex, wonderful happy smiles all around and no problems at all. Yesterday night he asked me if I am happy. I said yes, and he said he is as well. Then he told me that he was really glad he had me, and that I was bringing lots of stability and balance into his life. That meant a lot to me. It kind of got me real, real soft, I suppose. I said "That's how it is supposed to be". In the past weeks, there have been moments where I really thought we were going to tell each other the three magic words, but then it didn't happen. I think we were both scared. Last night, after he said this nice stuff about being happy to have me, we had sex. When i came I yelled it out "I love you". He pulled me closer and it was very passionate and romantic, but he didn't say anything back. When we finished he held my hand for a while and we just fell asleep. He held me all night and in the morning kissed me goodbye when he had to leave for class, but I really wonder... did I make a mistake? I felt like the time had come. I really wanted him to say it first, but it just bursted out of me, I felt so much at that moment. I am pretty sure he heard me say it..., because first I said his name 2 or 3 times and he kept saying "yes?... yes"... while we were going at it... I am just so confused now, should I have not done this? That he didn't say it back, is that a bad thing? Did I scare him off? I wanted to say something after, but I didn't say a word... I am really really scared that this put pressure on him, when I really just wanted to show him how I feel, without him feeling pressured to say it back. Any advice as to how to proceed? AS if nothing happened?
David87 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 He's not ready to say the magic words just yet. Don't worry because you didn't do anything wrong.. The good news is that he didn't reply with thank you 3
Winter blue Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 So you said the 3 magic words while having sex if I read it right, personally I wouldn't say them for the first time while doing that, but what's done is done, not the end of the world. Sounds like your feelings for each other is mutual, I guess he is probably just unsure if it's appropriate to say it back to you while you were having sex. On another hand, 5 months is a reasonable time to expect that 3 words being exchanged. My ex said it to me within a month and my current gf hasn't said it which I appreciated, we only meet 2 months ago and starting dating for a month, she has fairly strong feelings for me but if she says them now I'll feel under pressured to say it back, which I don't think I'm ready yet. Why don't you try talk about it with him next time when you aren't having sex, just have a casual and open chat, if he is feeling the same, he will probably even say it first. 1
Author catchthedrift Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Ok, I just met with a friend for brunch, and this person is his best friend, actually, and he called her to ask where we met, so he came to say hello and was super sweet and affectionate and told me he wants to see me this afternoon. This is at least a good sign that he doesn't feel pressured by it, and actually probably felt re-assured in the relationship... Let's hope he will say the magic words soon. 1
stillafool Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I think what you said was okay because that's what you feel. He may not have said it back at that time because he didn't want to copy you but chose his own time to tell you he loves you too. Don't worry, just enjoy. 1
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