ebt100 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I am actually devastated and extremely sad. I don't know if that is because I think (or know, at some level) that I messed up. Naturally the human mind tries to rationalize a breakup, telling itself that the relationship really wasn't that good, or that such a thing was inevitable, and then of course there are all the platitudes about the topic. I don't know what to do or think. I was in a relationship that felt very "right" and magical. We said (and thought) we loved each other. Then, various disagreements and sources of tension lead to several huge-ass arguments and verbal fights. She blames me, of course, for all of it, and has characterized me as basically a terrible person, doing "unforgiveable" things, etc. I've already flooded her inbox with apologetic and nice messages, and repeatedly asked for another chance, etc.... so yeah, I can't "not do that" at present, cause I already did. I actually feel rejected twice, but that's a different issue. Anyway, I'm still left with sadness, regret, and mixed feelings. I've been advised to "give it up" and stop contacting her, despite the fact that she said there might be hope if I address my "problems." I guess I'm not sure what I'm asking. The pain vacillates between not having a girlfriend, not feeling like I'll feel the same way about someone else, the regret about messing up, thinking I wont find someone as good or better, and other miscellaneous things mixed in. The biggest thing seems to be that I had thought things were "perfect" and could go somewhere, and then they came unraveled. It's like, in my mind I saw a whole life laid out with her, and that is down the drain.
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