awkward stage.

April 3, 2014

Okay so you hooked up with a guy.... Both of you are extremely stubborn.

It's been 4 days since we hooked up and no text. I can check who looks at my facebook (there's a way) and he has checked it everyday since..

But I'm still not getting any texts lol..

Has anyone ever experienced this, it's driving me crazy! I wont be the first to text though, sounds immature and playing games never work so it is what it is.

Some will say "It was a hook up, it meant nothing".. I'm sure you're right, but this person wasn't a random person. It's been someone who has been in my life for a long time now and him and i being friends for awhile before this, makes it extremelyyyyyyy awkward. It definitely changed things.

I don't want to continue hooking up, or being friends with benefits. I just want to go back to normal, being friends that's it.

How can i get through this awkward stage after a hook up with a friend?

April 3, 2014

I don't want to continue hooking up, or being friends with benefits. I just want to go back to normal, being friends that's it.

It's awkward because you both are choosing to make it awkward. You have been long time friends with this guy. Send him a message and tell him exactly what you said in your post. Tell him you value the friendship and that you would like to move forward from what happened.

April 3, 2014

Words fail me.

How can people hook up and NOT expect it to change things?

There IS no 'going back'.

Jeezus, for goodness' sake stop behaving like this and just phone him.

April 3, 2014

Words fail me.

How can people hook up and NOT expect it to change things?

There IS no 'going back'.

Jeezus, for goodness' sake stop behaving like this and just phone him.

I see your point, however why am I the one that has to make that move. He's the guy, i put myself in a vulnerable situation with him. I told him I had feelings for him, he told me the same thing. so the feelings are mutal... but we both agreed we didn't want things to change between us.. This was a drunk mistake, and although i have started to have feelings.. I WILL not allow anything between him and i to happened again. Way too complicated of a situation.

April 3, 2014

I see your point, however why am I the one that has to make that move. He's the guy, i put myself in a vulnerable situation with him. I told him I had feelings for him, I told him i didn't want things to change between us.. This was a drunk mistake, and although i have started to have feelings.. I WILL not allow anything between him and i to happened again. Way too complicated of a situation.

From your initial post I thought you just had sex, period. Now you say you have feelings and you told him you have feelings. 1) I don't think you can be friends when you are emotional about someone. You really need to think about what your motives are in trying to resurrect this. Most likely now that you told him you have feelings, he's probably worried about your expectations 2) You said you will not allow anything to come in between -- well you allowed sex and your feelings to get in between of a friendship so throw that concept out the door.

April 3, 2014

From your initial post I thought you just had sex, period. Now you say you have feelings and you told him you have feelings. 1) I don't think you can be friends when you are emotional about someone. You really need to think about what your motives are in trying to resurrect this. Most likely now that you told him you have feelings, he's probably worried about your expectations 2) You said you will not allow anything to come in between -- well you allowed sex and your feelings to get in between of a friendship so throw that concept out the door.

UGH. i was afraid of this. I want to go back to normal, i dont want to have any feelings or emotions involved but yes mine are involved. I just want to go back to how things were.. maybe in time, but i guess so soon after our hookup i can expect it to be awkward. Just makes it even more awkward that neither one of us sent a text.. even just saying "Hi".

April 3, 2014

UGH. i was afraid of this. I want to go back to normal, i dont want to have any feelings or emotions involved but yes mine are involved. I just want to go back to how things were.. maybe in time, but i guess so soon after our hookup i can expect it to be awkward. Just makes it even more awkward that neither one of us sent a text.. even just saying "Hi".

I don't know if you can go back to normal when you are emotional about him. And I don't think it's easy to switch off. More likely it's going to fester now inside of you because you had sex and as much as you say you want to just be friends, wouldn't there be a part of you that would be craving for more?

If tomorrow he said he's dating a girl, what would you do? Will you be the friend you should be to him? Maybe step away from this and let him come to you. Seeing how affected you are, it would be best to let your emotions settle down some.

As I said, he's probably wondering about your expectations, what if he doesn't feel the same way so how does he deal with telling you. If he felt the same way I am sure he would have jumped at the fact that you're into him. He's probably dealing with his own fears.

April 3, 2014

I can check who looks at my facebook (there's a way) and he has checked it everyday since.

How?

10chr

April 3, 2014

I don't know if you can go back to normal when you are emotional about him. And I don't think it's easy to switch off. More likely it's going to fester now inside of you because you had sex and as much as you say you want to just be friends, wouldn't there be a part of you that would be craving for more?

If tomorrow he said he's dating a girl, what would you do? Will you be the friend you should be to him? Maybe step away from this and let him come to you. Seeing how affected you are, it would be best to let your emotions settle down some.

As I said, he's probably wondering about your expectations, what if he doesn't feel the same way so how does he deal with telling you. If he felt the same way I am sure he would have jumped at the fact that you're into him. He's probably dealing with his own fears.

Leaving him be for awhile untill everything settles is the best advice. I definitely dont want to make things worse right now, by hanging out with him and getting more attached.

If tomorrow he were to date a girl, I would continue being a friend. I would back away of course.

If he did feel the same way, we still wouldn't go further. Like I said, it's very complicated situation. I would never date him, I know who he is and I would never date him. Yes I did end up having feelings for him. I have no idea how, or why.. or when.. But I know nothing can EVER happen between him and I.. and he knows the same thing. So that's not the issue.

For now, i'll let things settle and in time perhaps thing's can go back to normal.

April 3, 2014

.. The reason things can never happen between him and i is because I dated his best friend for two years. He's dated one of my friends for 5 years...... Too many people would get hurt.. and he doesn't want to lose a friend.. nor do i

April 3, 2014

How?

10chr

Likewise.

I'd really like to know how this nifty trick is done.

April 3, 2014

How?

10chr

Google chrome, right click on your profile page.. go to the view page source page..... Ctrl+F .. type in "friendslist"....

the numbers that show, you need to copy and paste into the url bar..

lol a trick someone showed me

for exampe..... it'' have numbers 45934903-2 ... copy and paste 45934903 (before the -) after facebook.com/ (then paste the number)

Edited April 3, 2014 by corixo

April 3, 2014

So how does it show how many times someone has viewed it? I see a whole lot of numbers and then "-2" I guess everyone has viewed my page twice? It's a -2 on virtually everyone. Oh well. I'll put this thread back on track.

Maybe he's thinking about what happened and where he wants things to go.

April 3, 2014

Google chrome, right click on your profile page.. go to the view page source page..... Ctrl+F .. type in "friendslist"....

the numbers that show, you need to copy and paste into the url bar..

lol a trick someone showed me

for exampe..... it'' have numbers 45934903-2 ... copy and paste 45934903 (before the -) after facebook.com/ (then paste the number)

Just friends then? Not people who might have creeped you that aren't on your friends list?

April 3, 2014

So how does it show how many times someone has viewed it? I see a whole lot of numbers and then "-2" I guess everyone has viewed my page twice? It's a -2 on virtually everyone. Oh well. I'll put this thread back on track.

Maybe he's thinking about what happened and where he wants things to go.

No the 2 has nothing to do with it...

the numbers before are the ones you copy and paste which shows whos looked at your profile last... in order..

and who knows what he's thinking! ugh.. thanks for the response though

April 3, 2014

Just friends then? Not people who might have creeped you that aren't on your friends list?

Just on your friends list

April 3, 2014

I think you should text him something really low key. Someone has to break the stalemate at some point.

April 3, 2014

No the 2 has nothing to do with it...

the numbers before are the ones you copy and paste which shows whos looked at your profile last... in order..

and who knows what he's thinking! ugh.. thanks for the response though

Dang!! The guy I like is totally creepin' on me!!! He's in the last 2 hits. He's totally stalking me while he's working! bahahahaa! oh this is great.

Yeah you really can't know what's going on in his head. Since you've been friends for a while just text him. Pretend like nothings happened... how often were you talking before you hooked up?

April 3, 2014

Dang!! The guy I like is totally creepin' on me!!! He's in the last 2 hits. He's totally stalking me while he's working! bahahahaa! oh this is great.

Yeah you really can't know what's going on in his head. Since you've been friends for a while just text him. Pretend like nothings happened... how often were you talking before you hooked up?

hahah i know right! Great little trick.

Well we text for days in a row then we would stop for few days, It wasn't super consistant. & usually after we would hangout we stopped talking for a few days, so for us to stop talking isn't completely out of the ordinary.. but because we had sex, and we talked about how we felt.. I expected some sort of text. Even a "Hi" would be nice... Just feel awkward about this whole thing now, I know once I see him we will be fine.. I'll probably tell give him a peice of my mind on not texting, and we'll laugh about it. & be normal again.. Just don't want to be the first one to make that move lol

April 3, 2014

hahah i know right! Great little trick.

Well we text for days in a row then we would stop for few days, It wasn't super consistant. & usually after we would hangout we stopped talking for a few days, so for us to stop talking isn't completely out of the ordinary.. but because we had sex, and we talked about how we felt.. I expected some sort of text. Even a "Hi" would be nice... Just feel awkward about this whole thing now, I know once I see him we will be fine.. I'll probably tell give him a peice of my mind on not texting, and we'll laugh about it. & be normal again.. Just don't want to be the first one to make that move lol

The trick does not work what so ever....

You are looking at the your chat friends list that pops up on the right hand side when you do that...

Which Facebook adamantly refuses to release exactly how any of their algorithms work regarding who pops up in your news feed and who pops up in your chat.

But it is commonly understand that these are made up comprising of the people you interact the most with on Facebook... i.e. profile hits, likes, comments, and chats. That way you can instantly connect with the people you value higher.

April 3, 2014

The trick does not work what so ever....
You are looking at the your chat friends list that pops up on the right hand side when you do that...
Which Facebook adamantly refuses to release exactly how any of their algorithms work regarding who pops up in your news feed and who pops up in your chat.
But it is commonly understand that these are made up comprising of the people you interact the most with on Facebook... i.e. profile hits, likes, comments, and chats. That way you can instantly connect with the people you value higher.

It has a guy that has been asking me out for a few months in my top 4.. I have never spoke to him on facebook before, only through text.. Or had any interaction with him on facebook.. So i believe it's the people that frequently check your page

April 3, 2014

hahah i know right! Great little trick.

Well we text for days in a row then we would stop for few days, It wasn't super consistant. & usually after we would hangout we stopped talking for a few days, so for us to stop talking isn't completely out of the ordinary.. but because we had sex, and we talked about how we felt.. I expected some sort of text. Even a "Hi" would be nice... Just feel awkward about this whole thing now, I know once I see him we will be fine.. I'll probably tell give him a peice of my mind on not texting, and we'll laugh about it. & be normal again.. Just don't want to be the first one to make that move lol

Ahhh. See.

Well guys don't view sex the same way as girls do. Girls have sex and automatically our minds jump to relationships and things being different and weird, and how things have changed. Meanwhile the guy goes about life as if nothing happened at all.

I think you can view this as him hooking up with you and nothing more. He's not jumping all over this to make it a relationship. At least not right now.

Don't be weird about it. Pretend it didn't happen. And honestly, I wouldn't do it again if you don't want to be a booty call.

April 4, 2014

Ahhh. See.

Well guys don't view sex the same way as girls do. Girls have sex and automatically our minds jump to relationships and things being different and weird, and how things have changed. Meanwhile the guy goes about life as if nothing happened at all.

I think you can view this as him hooking up with you and nothing more. He's not jumping all over this to make it a relationship. At least not right now.

Don't be weird about it. Pretend it didn't happen. And honestly, I wouldn't do it again if you don't want to be a booty call.

You're so right. I'm stressed about the whole situation, meanwhile he probably isn't thinking twice about it.

and it definitely will not happen again. I will not be a booty call/ friends with benefits. anything in that nature.. Nor do i want a relationship with him..

Thanks!

April 4, 2014

It has a guy that has been asking me out for a few months in my top 4.. I have never spoke to him on facebook before, only through text.. Or had any interaction with him on facebook.. So i believe it's the people that frequently check your page

Like dontgo pointed out, the list doesn't prove that someone has been looking at your profile recently or frequently. If you do some research online, you'll quickly see that numerous people have tried to figure out what the list means, and no one has come up with any conclusive evidence as to what it represents. It's different for different people--for some, it's people who they have recently interacted with (chatted), others it's people who like, tag, or comment on their posts often, and yet for others it's totally random people with whom they don't have any interaction with. So the assertion that it shows people who visit your profile is dubious at best.

So far the most plausible and most supported theory is that the list determines the order in which people show up on your offline chat list. For me for example, the people at the top of my list are people with whom I recently messaged with...which makes sense, because there's a high likelihood that I'll want to message them again. But, that doesn't have to be the only determining factor as to why they're up higher on the list than others.

Basically, I wouldn't assume that people on the top of the list are "stalking" you, and I certainly would not base any real life decisions on the unsupported theory that they are. There isn't any conclusive evidence to explain the function of the list one way or the other.

April 4, 2014

Like dontgo pointed out, the list doesn't prove that someone has been looking at your profile recently or frequently. If you do some research online, you'll quickly see that numerous people have tried to figure out what the list means, and no one has come up with any conclusive evidence as to what it represents. It's different for different people--for some, it's people who they have recently interacted with (chatted), others it's people who like, tag, or comment on their posts often, and yet for others it's totally random people with whom they don't have any interaction with. So the assertion that it shows people who visit your profile is dubious at best.

So far the most plausible and most supported theory is that the list determines the order in which people show up on your offline chat list. For me for example, the people at the top of my list are people with whom I recently messaged with...which makes sense, because there's a high likelihood that I'll want to message them again. But, that doesn't have to be the only determining factor as to why they're up higher on the list than others.

Basically, I wouldn't assume that people on the top of the list are "stalking" you, and I certainly would not base any real life decisions on the unsupported theory that they are. There isn't any conclusive evidence to explain the function of the list one way or the other.

Ah I see! Yeah I read into it a bit more. People gain "points" by liking, viewing, commenting. . Etc guess there is no way to really tell

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