savethedrama4allama Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 The position doesn't pay much, but it has great benefits. Everyone probably knows that my bf has lied to me in the past, and I re-entered the relationship on the terms that he'd never lie again. For the last few months I felt my bf was lying to me about going to a friends house one particular night, I had a feeling in my gut plus his one of his buddies slipped up a little and it seemed like he was covering for him. Well Saturday night his friend admitted it all to me. Yep, my bf was there that night, lied through his teeth about it, swore on his faith in god he was not there, promised many times that he's been 100% honest to me since summer. But all that was crap. And all of it was just to cover going to a friend's house where I'm sure nothing bad happened anyway. And his friends, people who I thought were my friends too, lied to my face. I should have trusted my gut. Even when I told him his friend tattled, he STILL denied it a few more times before he admitted it. Lame. The most hurtful part is the fact that he let me suffer for months, struggling between what he said and what my better judgement told me. On a couple of occasions I begged him to just tell me the truth, that I felt so conflicted, but he would not. All I wanted was honesty, and he knew it, but he still lies and I don't understand.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama All I wanted was honesty, and he knew it, but he still lies and I don't understand. People SAY they want honesty many times, LLAMA, but in actuality they really don't. In addition, women EXPECT men to lie to them so if we don't then we are looked at as some type of wierdo. By the way, what are the benefits?
savethedrama4allama Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 alpha, I really did want honesty after everything we've been through. He even went to counseling for lying. Benefits are discussable during the interview. llama
tiki Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Jeesh. I'm sorry llama. Please tell me this wasn't the night you were sick? Why did he lie about going? Did he get with anyone or are you mostly upset about him just lying about it in general? Did he stay faithful to you? Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama He even went to counseling for lying. Wow. Maybe you're really doing yourself a favor to let this one go? Nonetheless, I hope everything works out. For the best.
Weird Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 damn, sorry to hear about his lying ass. Here's hoping you pick better with your next dude. when do interviews start?
brashgal Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 This sounds a lot like my ex-husband. He often told lies, even in situations where it didn't really matter. I have to believe his parents did a number on him and he could never rise above it. If you do value honesty, you are doing the right thing cutting him loose. Don't be me and wonder where 20 years of my life went thinking that I could deal with the deception.
savethedrama4allama Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Jeesh. I'm sorry llama. Please tell me this wasn't the night you were sick? Why did he lie about going? Did he get with anyone or are you mostly upset about him just lying about it in general? Did he stay faithful to you? Wow. Maybe you're really doing yourself a favor to let this one go? Nonetheless, I hope everything works out. For the best. No it wasn't the night I was sick, it was just some Tuesday night. He was over at my house and then left and went there, his friend had gotten dumped and I guess he went to lend support. I have no idea why he lied. If he would have told me about it, I would have gone too, as this guy is my friend as well. (Maybe he did not want me there and thats why he didn't tell me.) He claims that he's been faithful but obviously his word means squat to me at this point. In my heart I think he was faithful though. I also think that his friends covered for him but hope they would not hide something as serious as cheating. Weird, Romeo, thanks guys. PM me resumes. Just kidding
Merin Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale People SAY they want honesty many times, LLAMA, but in actuality they really don't. In addition, women EXPECT men to lie to them so if we don't then we are looked at as some type of wierdo. By the way, what are the benefits? What a bunch of bullsh*t that is Alpha.. that is a cop out. There is nothing worse than a liar regardless of gender, or reason. I don't expect to be lied to, and when I have been lied to in the past I didn't look at the guy and say "Oh wow, look at that! I found a normal guy because he lied to me sweeeeettttt!" All guys don't lie and trust me on this.. all girls don't EXPECT to be lied to. Llama... I'm sorry this all happend sister.. I do think it makes is some what worse because you knew and asked him about it and he STILL lied.. regardless of the reason(s) behind it.. IMO he had/has something to hide or he would've been honest. Seems he has been doing this kind of crap for awhile.. and honestly, he's a punkass for doing it and not worthy of the Llama Love... not to even get started on all the rest of the drama he's dragged you through with his crazy EXGF.. All APPLICANTS for the Mr. Llama position must pass several interviews, and having REFERENCES is a good idea Love ya GF.. I hope you're okay
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by Merin What a bunch of bullsh*t that is Alpha.. that is a cop out. There is nothing worse than a liar regardless of gender, or reason. All guys don't lie and trust me on this.. all girls don't EXPECT to be lied to. Ok, MERIN, then why do women think we are lying when we are not?? Xplain that. here's a typical scenario HER: What did you do last sat nite?!?!! (in accusatory tone) ME: oh, i watched the game at home and ordered dominoes (which is what I did) HER: No you didn't!?!?! You were out with another girl, weren't you?!?!?! ME: what are u talkin 'bout? HER: I know you men....you're all the same, you're all LIARS!!
tiki Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 I hate liars. Sorry, had to get that out. Hope you haven't put too much thought into the psycho ex situation....if he wants her, he deserves her. But I don't think he'd ever go back. Not after having a piece of the llama lurve.
brashgal Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 We need to introduce you to some women of quality, Alpha. Not all women play weird head games.
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by brashgal We need to introduce you to some women of quality, Alpha. Not all women play weird head games. i only date bytches BRASHGAL. Nice gurls don't interest me at all. They are boring and no challenge. Boy if I had a nickel for every nice gurl I turned down I'd have $20.00.
Merin Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Ok, MERIN, then why do women think we are lying when we are not?? Xplain that. here's a typical scenario HER: What did you do last sat nite?!?!! (in accusatory tone) ME: oh, i watched the game at home and ordered dominoes (which is what I did) HER: No you didn't!?!?! You were out with another girl, weren't you?!?!?! ME: what are u talkin 'bout? HER: I know you men....you're all the same, you're all LIARS!! Maybe this is typical for YOU Alpha.. but yeah.. this ISN'T typical for MOST. Maybe it's that you've hooked up with women who have had a bad experience and have baggage regarding this.. OR maybe it's that you've lied to women in the past and now they feel they do have a reason to mistrust you.. however to say that women EXPECT to be lied to is ridiculous. I DON'T EXPECT to be lied to, and the only time I would have reason to suspect is IF the person in question had lied to me in the past.. or given me reason (a VALID one, not one made up in my mind) to mistrust what they were saying. BTW.. Llama's man HAS given her reason in the past to have suspect.
savethedrama4allama Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Hope you haven't put too much thought into the psycho ex situation....if he wants her, he deserves her. But I don't think he'd ever go back. Not after having a piece of the llama lurve. He admitted that he lied to her about some stupid stuff too. So this is not a new problem. I'm not too concerned with her. I just spoke with someone and it turns out my bf lied to our friends about this weekend even, pretending that we did not get into a fight and telling them he spent the night at my place Saturday! Then our mutual friend was like "thats funny, because Sarah was here all night crying about you!" Did he think that I was going to blow off this millionth lie of his and that he wouldn't have to admit to our friends that I dumped him? Talk about problems with reality. Merin, thanks for all the support girl. Love ya too. It would break my heart to think that he had something worse to hide. Well alpha, if you don't like nice girls, you can forget about applying for my new position.
tiki Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Alpha! Give llama your condolences! Don't tell her that women want liars! Llama, is he feeling any remorse? How is he handling this?
savethedrama4allama Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Alpha! Give llama your condolences! Don't tell her that women want liars! Llama, is he feeling any remorse? How is he handling this? Major remorse. Dropped off a 4 page letter to my house along with his half of the expenses for the car accident. I called him and told him I needed to get some things off my chest, so we met up last night. I said everything I wanted to say about how hurt I was and what a jerk he was. He cried the whole time. Maybe he felt guilty for lying, maybe he felt guilty for getting caught. But then he lied to our mutual friend about it like he thought it might just blow over? Maybe he is not that remorseful.
tiki Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Would you consider taking him back? I mean, really? Maybe you guys need a breather from one another, then he'll come back and be normal (aka not a liar), sweep you off your feet and do the right thing? God, I'm such a sucker.
brashgal Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Llama - he probably does feel remorse, it's just a weird character flaw that he lies. Only you can decide whether you can continue to put up with it because it sounds pretty deep-seated. Alpha - re: i only date bytches BRASHGAL. Nice gurls don't interest me at all. They are boring and no challenge. Boy if I had a nickel for every nice gurl I turned down I'd have $20.00. Got it - I'll go back to ignoring you now.
Merin Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama Major remorse. Dropped off a 4 page letter to my house along with his half of the expenses for the car accident. I called him and told him I needed to get some things off my chest, so we met up last night. I said everything I wanted to say about how hurt I was and what a jerk he was. He cried the whole time. Maybe he felt guilty for lying, maybe he felt guilty for getting caught. But then he lied to our mutual friend about it like he thought it might just blow over? Maybe he is not that remorseful. I'm sorry girl.. You know my EXBF lied to me all of the time.. and as you know everytime I would confront him on it, he would minimize it, continue to lie about it and always in the end would say he didn't tell the truth because of the consequence it would bring.. My feeling is this.. if someone lies to you, you find out and the person admitts to the lie, expresses remorse and makes a promise to be honest then okay.. maybe they really are sorry they lied to begin with.. BUT when they continue to lie to you and break those promises then I'm left to believe they are not sorry for what they've done or they wouldn't continue to do the wrong thing.. but they are sorry you're pissed, and they are sorry you found out, and they are the MOST SORRY that you called them on it. Him now lying to your mutual friends... does it mean he isn't remorseful.. well again girl.. being sorry and meaning it IMO means not continuing to lie.. but right now, maybe he feels that if he says it's over between the 2 of you to other people then it "Might" make it true.. do you see what I'm saying?
alphamale Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Alpha! Give llama your condolences! Don't tell her that women want liars! sorry LLAMA, he is a jerk for lying to you. next time he does it just send him over to me and i'll whoop his a$$. i hope u feel better
tiki Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale sorry LLAMA, he is a jerk for lying to you. next time he does it just send him over to me and i'll whoop his a$$. i hope u feel better I think your outburst may have caused you a slip in line.
tanbark813 Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by Merin My feeling is this.. if someone lies to you, you find out and the person admitts to the lie, expresses remorse and makes a promise to be honest then okay.. maybe they really are sorry they lied to begin with.. BUT when they continue to lie to you and break those promises then I'm left to believe they are not sorry for what they've done or they wouldn't continue to do the wrong thing.. but they are sorry you're pissed, and they are sorry you found out, and they are the MOST SORRY that you called them on it. I agree 1,000,000%. I also hereby submit my application. I think you'll find everything to be in order.
savethedrama4allama Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Oh yeah and he admitted that he lied to me about going to class last week- he didn't really go, though he made up a story about what they did in lab that night. But in reality he fell asleep and missed class. (knowing him- totally realistic.) All of this while he claimed that he was 100% honest! This lie about school really bugs me because it showed that he hadn't even learned his lesson from the lie about being at his buddies house that was supposedly "eating him away inside." Yeah tiki, he could change. I'm a total sucker. But Merin's experience tells me he won't... Alpha, anybody who offers to beat him up for me gets cuts to the front of the line, if you still want to put in your resume...ahaha
tiki Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama Oh yeah and he admitted that he lied to me about going to class last week- he didn't really go, though he made up a story about what they did in lab that night. But in reality he fell asleep and missed class. (knowing him- totally realistic.) Okay. He deserves to be dumped just for being the dumbass he is. WTF?! Lying about THAT?!
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