Cessius Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I will leave my personal story out of it for now and simply leave it at this: My ex of a week now, NC for 3 days woohoo, has been trying to get a reaction out of me. Telling me things that are hurtful and trying to either see me react and getting her satisfaction or trying to upset me. Either way I wanted to explode last night, go to her place and break windows and show her how I truly felt about all of the **** that she is trying to put me through. She is texting me and trying to get ahold of me although there are rumors of her sleeping with another guy now. So long story short, when your ex finally gets under your skin, how do you maintain sanity and release the anger in a safe way and then continue on with your day?
Strength in Healing Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Scream into a pillow, go to the gym, or go get a prescription for buspar lol. I once punched my bed repeatedly but that was regrettable as after not even 6 seconds or so, it had ripped parts of it apart.
Author Cessius Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 What about a punching bag? Just to get all the anger out?
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Anger is a poison. It has been said that being angry with someone is like buying them arsenic then taking it yourself. If you think you need Anger Management, consider it and deal with it. If you think it's something you can handle, then it helps to breathe deeply, because people have a tendency to hyperventilate when they get angry. There are many lessons in Buddhism on how anger is viewed, and how it can be overcome. But I'm not going to give you those, in case they'd be unwelcome. No point making it worse! 2
barky2 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Going to her place and busting windows will only land you in jail. I understand you're pissed bro but control yourself. And you're not in the anger phase, you're reacting to her childish games. Try showing her you don't care, after awhile she'll get the hint. And believe me, once you do hit the anger phase...hold onto it, it's the best phase. Keep a cool head my dude. Barky 1
Poppyolive Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I feel you, I went through the same thing. Rise above she is only looking to provoke action don't give it to her, remain calm, cool & not bothered. I did the same but my ex was persistent in trying to hurt and make me angry..simple things like getting some clothing items he left was aggressive even when I responded had his clothes ready...he was just finding ways to be an ******* to me.... Tip...it did get to the point for me that it was going on for 6 weeks until I asked him to stop, he didn't, eventually I had to block...he still tried...it went on for 4 months finally its been 2 months of Peace. He eas the dumper, 5 years, i accepted gracefully and gave him space and ne space to heal....then he poceeded to harass me, be angry & mean......I knew if I said what I really felt like saying things would of got worse, I think not caring, responding is the best way to show her. Just be glad you're not a miserable arse like her. 1
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Yep! I agree. The gym is your best outlet for stress and frustrations you're having right now. What has she been texting?
Author Cessius Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 jabs that she is sleeping in another man's bed, general small talk, you have this of mine, I know you still want me but it's over and I'm not ever coming back to you... etc. At first I thought the sleeping over thing was just a rumor until I started getting notifications from her phone that she had been at a mutual "friends" address from like 6 pm to 9 am. It hurt the first time as it was 4-5 days after we break up and then they became much more regular. I have since blocked the notifications from getting to my phone. I also don't know that they are sleeping together... but it is a 500 sq ft studio and I always assume the worse.
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Yeah, she sounds like a spoiled little bitch and you're not giving her what she wants. Which is a response from you. So, what's the easiest way to invoke a response? Piss them off. What she's doing is cruel. Absolutely disgusting and cruel. Personally, if I were you, I would change my number. A lot of people don't want to do that because they think it's too much of a hassle. But, for piece of mind. I think it would be well worth it. 1
Arieswoman Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 I joined a gym and kept a gym bag packed just by the door. Whenever I had the urge to go around and punch either of their lights out, I picked up the bag and headed to the gym. This stopped myself doing anything stupid and got me fit at the same time. 2
carhill Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 So long story short, when your ex finally gets under your skin, how do you maintain sanity and release the anger in a safe way and then continue on with your day? Something that worked for me, when feeling 'stuff' building during my D, was to head to the outdoor range and do some run/shoot combos. Really whipped the anger/frustration right out of me. One rule: No silhouette targets! In any particular moment of interaction, it became far easier to remain calm as the prospect of a 'reward' later, something I enjoyed doing, affected the psychology of the moment. I think, all told, exW and I only had 'words' a couple of times over that 18 month period. I sure spat a lot of brass in that time, no doubt! Now, if in similar situations (precious few so far!), I simply image that process in my mind and understand that the emotions will pass. In that sense, being married was pretty helpful. It taught valuable lessons. I also thank exW for her relatively calm demeanor, even if she did push my buttons with great expertise. Saved me a lot of money on ammo! 1
Author Cessius Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 Yeah, she sounds like a spoiled little bitch and you're not giving her what she wants. Which is a response from you. So, what's the easiest way to invoke a response? Piss them off. What she's doing is cruel. Absolutely disgusting and cruel. Personally, if I were you, I would change my number. A lot of people don't want to do that because they think it's too much of a hassle. But, for piece of mind. I think it would be well worth it. iPhones have a block feature that completely blocks her contacting my phone on the network level. So I will not see her messages in my bill, on my phone, in iCloud... I have allowed myself to disappear as NC works better that way. The only problem now is seeing her in person every MWF for college 4 hours a day. Although, when seeing her in person, she still tries the same thing but I don't get mad. In fact the last fews times I have smiled even chuckled because I felt it was so childish for her to need the response so bad.
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Oh yeah, I remember your story. You sit in the front and she sits in the back. Just beeline it to your seat and don't look back. Out of sight out of mind. Try to forget she's even there. If the lecture rooms are larger as they are in my University, you'll be out the door while she's still climbing down. No chance of her ambushing you. Oh, and you said this "friend" of yours that she's been sleeping with was or is a Marine. So what....that wouldn't intimate me. I've worked with Marines and not every Marines is Force Recon. Hell, he could be an admin Clerk or a Cook. Big deal. Don't sweat it. Just remember, you asked him out for a beer and HE was afraid to face YOU! Keep that in mind. 1
Author Cessius Posted April 3, 2014 Author Posted April 3, 2014 I didn't think about it that way... Damn you guys really know your stuff here. Anyway exits are in the back of the auditorium so I have to pass her to leave or just wait. So far it has been 4 exits out of the room and each time I have avoided her. While it still hurts, everyday seems to get a little better. At this rate though it is going to take a few months Thanks again to everyone, huge help!
somegoodman Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 You have any compromising pics or videos of her? Throw 'em up on the internet.
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 You have any compromising pics or videos of her? Throw 'em up on the internet. I would classify this kind of advice as being just about as useful as an ashtray on a Motorbike.
CantSStopMeNow Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 You sound like you really have a anger issue the way you discribe it. I know people can do stuff that makes you angry but if its like you feel like going to their house and do crazy stuff its a different level of anger i think. And i wonder why you keep entertain her anyway? Why can your phone still receive her calls and text/\ With the technology and phones of 2014 its not that difficult to block etc people that you dont want to receive calls from. And people can make you angry if you keep letting what they do make you angry. You need to stop getting angry about certain things. Even thou i dont know what this is about. ANd if its about things you did and dont want to hear about or just things that hurt that she just enjoy telling you them. Beside no contact means no contact. So its to you to do the steps so there is no contact also. You can even change your number if you really want no contact.
lollipopspot Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I once punched my bed repeatedly but that was regrettable as after not even 6 seconds or so, it had ripped parts of it apart. What kind of crap bed do you have that it rips just by punching it? 1
David87 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 You have any compromising pics or videos of her? Throw 'em up on the internet. What the hell..... don't do this.
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