agomongo Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Hi I'm 16 and there is this girl I really loved. I always made a rule for myself "don't date till after college" but then I saw her and I had to ask her. Well she said no then a few days later yes. So we went out then on the third week we had spring break, and over the break we didn't really talk because she didn't have internet. She came back and we did start to talk again, but after a few days she stopped replying. She did have a competition and she didn't tell anyone, but I think she should've told me. She also wasn't allowed to date because her mom is divorced . Then she told her mom about me and she said to break up and to focus on piano and she said she sort of agreed. She then said when she broke up with me. Her priorities was 60 on me and 40 on her piano (she wants to be a concert pianist). Then 2 weeks later she said she didn't like me anymore. Because she said we're too different. My mom said she may have emotional problems because of her mom. But she said if I really like her wait 6 months. My friend said she just maybe saying that because she didn't want to love me but she does. There's more information. For now please reply and I'll post more of what's going on. For now do you guys think she still likes me? I know she really loved me before break. Like I could tell.
TaraMaiden Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Oh goodness.... At 16 this sounds like an end-of-the-world crisis, I know it does, but trust me, sadly, this is frankly a waste of time. I know it's not what you want to hear, because it's normal, run-of-the-mill stuff, but you're too young to get hung up on something like this at your age. At the risk of sounding patronising, things appear illogical and confusing to you because in actual fact, your brain hasn't finished connecting all the dots/neurons properly, and you literally can't think straight. That's not talking down to you, it happens to be true. So no wonder you can't make head nor tail of this. you actually can't. What's worse, 'sensible' advice means nothing to you; you don't want to hear it, because people don't understand you, trivialise your emotions and don't take you seriously. Well, first of all, I promise you that's not the case here, and secondly, we've all been there, at 16, falling head over heels with someone wonderful, and the problems seem huge, magnified and all-important. We get it, honestly we do, but please believe me, in a while, this will not seem of any importance at all. Relax, take a step back, focus on simple enjoyment of life with your buddies, hang out with them, and don't attach too much importance or value on having a girl to 'love'. Your time will come, but this is a waste of your time and effort.
redbaron005 Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 First, I am a 27 year old guy. However, I was 16 once! Some comments: Hi I'm 16 and there is this girl I really loved. I always made a rule for myself "don't date till after college" but then I saw her and I had to ask her. Well she said no then a few days later yes. Bravery - excellent! Good work mate. This is more puppy love, not genuine love. You like her like her, that is cool. She also wasn't allowed to date because her mom is divorced . Then she told her mom about me and she said to break up and to focus on piano and she said she sort of agreed. She then said when she broke up with me. Her priorities was 60 on me and 40 on her piano (she wants to be a concert pianist). of Condoleezza Rice - who was quite good at piano in high school. And take a look into the movie Whisper of the Heart. They may give you some perspective. Because she said we're too different. I've had many women drop this line at the end of dating, even as an adult. Don't put to much stock in it. But don't pressure her for anything else. Pressure is your enemy. My mom said she may have emotional problems because of her mom. But she said if I really like her wait 6 months. Emotional problems, that seems like an oxymoron. I think your mom is giving you a reason because you need one for why the girl is pulling away. She cares for you, and hates to see you hurting. She knows 6 months is a long time in context of your life and that you may not feel the same in that time. My friend said she just maybe saying that because she didn't want to love me but she does. You want her to like you back. Its nice that you like her, however I would not impose your wants on her. She may still like you, she may not, I would play it cool and act nonchalant. Please do not be clingy.
chados Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Don't do anything bad and listen to the above posters. Because they are right in every sense. Whatever we say or do is most likely not going to affect you. Because when were feeling bad and don't get the response we want, We just stop thinking logical. Are brain is telling is one thing and the heart another. My personal opinion is this. At 16 I would definitely date. I've done it and would do it again. But as an adult I think it's a bad idea. It never works out and we have all these pregnant teens running around. Young people always think there's something better out there. They don't have any experience in life. You can however if you choose to listen to what people say change the way you're going to deal with your problems in life long before most of your friends will have any clue. Always stand up for yourself if you disagree with your girlfriend. Don't chase someone that doesn't want to be chased. She told you to stay away and that's what you should do. Staying away doesn't mean it's over. You just show her respect by leaving her alone. The chances are higher she will come back if you respect her wishes. About her mom being divorced and you can't date her makes little sense to me 1
Author agomongo Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) I understand however you can't stop liking a person after a few days and I know my mom isn't trying to comfort me. She had two brothers and both of them divorced two times and my exgirlfriend mom is divorced, so that's why my mom came to that conclusion. And I know she still loved me after spring break and even when she stopped replying. Also, about the teen pregnancy comment teen pregnancy is at an all time low. Also I know not to impose and I know not to look desperate. Edited April 4, 2014 by agomongo
redbaron005 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I understand however you can't stop liking a person after a few days and I know my mom isn't trying to comfort me. She had two brothers and both of them divorced two times and my exgirlfriend mom is divorced, so that's why my mom came to that conclusion. And I know she still loved me after spring break and even when she stopped replying. If she is not comforting you your mom is looking for a way to relate the situation in a context she is more familiar with...remember she was never a 16 year old guy. She wants to help, she is your mother. Someone absolutely can stop liking someone else after a few days. Its certainly possible, how do you know she loved you at that time? Was this your gut feeling or something she told you directly?
chados Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I understand however you can't stop liking a person after a few days and I know my mom isn't trying to comfort me. She had two brothers and both of them divorced two times and my exgirlfriend mom is divorced, so that's why my mom came to that conclusion. And I know she still loved me after spring break and even when she stopped replying. Also, about the teen pregnancy comment teen pregnancy is at an all time low. Also I know not to impose and I know not to look desperate. I was just saying that because if happens. And to be honest I think even if I would date myself at 16 that it's to young. It's okey to not be over her yet. Just focus on yourself and time will tell what happens
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 I understand however you can't stop liking a person after a few days ...... Nobody has suggested you do that, anywhere, because we know it's impossible. That's not a requirement. But you must have heard the saying "if you love them, let them go." Closing down affections, is not a requirement. Walking away when it's a lost cause - is. 2
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