IFDDS Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Hello! Some 2 years ago I had quite an emotionally draining fling with a girl. There was quite a lot of back and forth, we were both in the same high school, she had liked me for some time and we started hanging out during one summer a bit more. She said she liked me a lot, but was quite insecure with her feelings, and with a lot of back and forths, ultimatums, breaking ups, getting back, breaking up, confusion, lost feelings on my part.. it was just a big mess. Well I blamed myself for a long time, for ruining the whole thing before it started, when I told her one day after all the back and forths and stress etc. "I lost all feelings for you and don't think I like you any more. We should be friends" Something like that. Because I actually liked the girl still a lot, but I was so stressed out that I guess your mind plays tricks on you. Of course it got better with time, but the first six months I remember I thought about it everyday. I tried my best and told her that I was confused, I still like her and want to hang out and see where it goes. But after trying for a very long time without any real success, I started gradually pulling away and focusing on myself. I left for the army during the next summer, and that was the time when I really was able to let go and move on. I didn't think about it anymore ! I stopped blaming myself for it, because it wasn't all my fault. But it left some strange void anyway:confused: like it wasn't completely resolved, just out of my mind. Fast forward to present day, I've started college and been in a long distance serious relationship with a wonderful girl I love and I can't recall thinking about the fling in many years. But lately every month or so I've been having some dreams where this fling would pop up; she'd be smiling or hanging out with me etc. And now I've been confused. Why is this happening? I want to be over this and not think about it any more, but these dreams have not been helpful, and I've been wondering and going through some of the same questions that I had before. The memories are so faint and distant and I have changed so much that this feels totally out of place. Hopefully somebody could have some insight on this!
Author IFDDS Posted April 27, 2014 Author Posted April 27, 2014 Hey, So I had another one of these dreams where this fling is present. Could it be that all those unresolved issues are playing out in my subconscious mind ? Anyone have some insight why I'm having these dreams? They aren't very vivid but she is clearly in the dreams.
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