saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Okay... So as per posters on here I was encouraged to talk to various men and make a choice from them and get to know them... Now I am naturally curious as a person, I google usernames, and full names if I know them. Well today I randomly found out the surname of one of the guys I've been talking too for a few weeks (our schedules are both busy so we've not had a date yet) I googled him... Yeah it turns out he's a sex offender!!! - I found a news article from 2008 (his surname isn't common) and then worked out the time frame between then and now he would be 33 (he is) and he's just admitted it after previously mentioning it and claiming it had happened to a friend. So... This doesn't really require a reply. There isn't much anyone can say to that. However be reminded to be extra cautious when dating. Those you think could be good individuals could actually be something entirely different 1
WrinkledForehead Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Someone peeing in public can catch a SO charge. If you found the information online, the offense he was charged with should also be mentioned. I agree, however, that one should always be cautious. This is one of several reasons that when I dated as a single mom, I did not let my children meet a man I was dating until several months in (6, to be exact, which is why they have never met any men with the exception of my current partner).
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Someone peeing in public can catch a SO charge. If you found the information online, the offense he was charged with should also be mentioned. I agree, however, that one should always be cautious. This is one of several reasons that when I dated as a single mom, I did not let my children meet a man I was dating until several months in (6, to be exact, which is why they have never met any men with the exception of my current partner). I wish it was something like peeing in public. Unfortunately is turns out he had sexual intercourse with a child. Was handed a suspended sentence and then abducted her (with her permission) and was thrown in prison for 2 years. He's literally on the sex offenders register. I don't allow men near my children for which I am thankful. I feel utterly sick at the thought that one day I may have and I literally wouldn't have known
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Sex with a child? Or with someone below the legal limit? In my state if an 18 year old has sex with a 17 year old he could be judged to be a sex offender
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Sex with a child? Or with someone below the legal limit? In my state if an 18 year old has sex with a 17 year old he could be judged to be a sex offender I believe she was 12, he would have been 27 at the time. Although he claims she informed him she was of age and actually met her in a night club :-/
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Hopefully in time there is a cheap and quick method to run background checks on ppl. Isn't there a dating site that requires background checks to join? Thought I heard about something like that once.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 i believe she was 12, he would have been 27 at the time. Although he claims she informed him she was of age and actually met her in a night club :-/ 12?!??!? Jesus h christ
carhill Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Here in Cali, Penal Code Section 290~ outlines a fairly broad definition of what is adjudicated as requirements for registering as a sexual offender. The short version is all adjudicated pedophiles are generally required to register as sexual offenders but not all registered sexual offenders are pedophiles, respecting the wide variety of crimes which fall under the blanket of sexual offense. The good news, relatively speaking, is that there are only 18 registered sexual offenders in my zip code, which covers about 20K people or so. Learn something every day. Criminal background checks are handy tools. I do a sex offender database check on all potential tenants, in addition to a general criminal background check. I would presume there are a lot of current and former criminals using online dating, as that covers a wide range of society. Better safe than sorry. Good luck! 1
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Hopefully in time there is a cheap and quick method to run background checks on ppl. Isn't there a dating site that requires background checks to join? Thought I heard about something like that once. It's a shame that they'd have to do background checks on a dating site. But now I'm thinking that's a fabulous idea!
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 12?!??!? Jesus h christ I know I didn't even know what sex was at 12! I know girls look older these days but there is no way a 12 year old can look 18+
Phantom888 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 This is actually very common. They should block sex offenders from using the internet altogether. Sex offenders do online dating very frequently. My fiancee is very careful about this sort of stuff. She even ran a background check on me when we first started dating! I guess you'll have to do this because it's a dangerous world out there!
isisisweeping Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I believe she was 12/ Creepy. More creepy is not everyone has been caught. You can only be as careful as you can be though.
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Creepy. More creepy is not everyone has been caught. You can only be as careful as you can be though. Agreed. I think I'm just super creeped out now because what If we had dated, what If one day he'd been around my children. Background checks from now on, that or I'm going to be a crazy cat lady
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 This is actually very common. They should block sex offenders from using the internet altogether. Sex offenders do online dating very frequently. My fiancee is very careful about this sort of stuff. She even ran a background check on me when we first started dating! I guess you'll have to do this because it's a dangerous world out there! Tell your fiancé she is one smart cookie!!
isisisweeping Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Agreed. I think I'm just super creeped out now because what If we had dated, what If one day he'd been around my children. Background checks from now on, that or I'm going to be a crazy cat lady You have to believe that you would have picked up on it before he was around your children And I assume you've talked to your children so they know the warning signs of adults behaving badly and that they can always talk to you. (Because not everyone who is a sex offender is on the registries.)
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 You have to believe that you would have picked up on it before he was around your children And I assume you've talked to your children so they know the warning signs of adults behaving badly and that they can always talk to you. (Because not everyone who is a sex offender is on the registries.) That's the scarier thing. My eldest (6) has classic autism so he has zero danger awareness or understand and my youngest is a toddler. Neither understand what bad is, they see the good in everyone
isisisweeping Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 That's the scarier thing. My eldest (6) has classic autism so he has zero danger awareness or understand and my youngest is a toddler. Neither understand what bad is, they see the good in everyone Do you make sure they know - no secrets from mommy and that if an adult tells them they must keep a secret that THEY will *never* be in trouble for telling you? And not letting relatives force kisses/hugs because they have the right to decide what happens or doesn't happen with their bodies? That if anyone makes them uncomfortable or looks at them without clothes they should tell you immediately? I think those are the important things at those ages, so far as concerns if you're dating someone and bringing them around them. 1
MidwestUSA Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 On the same topic, I always cringe when I see anyone, man or woman, with pics on an online dating site showing them with their kids. You JUST DON'T KNOW who's out there. I was having a friendly conversation with a guy who had three adorable daughters, probably eight to thirteen years old. They were featured prominently in his pics. I pointed this out to him, and he was like, eh, no worries.
isisisweeping Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 On the same topic, I always cringe when I see anyone, man or woman, with pics on an online dating site showing them with their kids. You JUST DON'T KNOW who's out there. I was having a friendly conversation with a guy who had three adorable daughters, probably eight to thirteen years old. They were featured prominently in his pics. I pointed this out to him, and he was like, eh, no worries. I realized my ex-husband did this when we came up a match. It annoyed me but I couldn't convince him to remove it. I think for guys, they think it sends a "good dad" message, which is funny because it says nothing about time they spend with them or anything. It is only evidence they were in the same place at least once. haha. 1
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 On the same topic, I always cringe when I see anyone, man or woman, with pics on an online dating site showing them with their kids. You JUST DON'T KNOW who's out there. I was having a friendly conversation with a guy who had three adorable daughters, probably eight to thirteen years old. They were featured prominently in his pics. I pointed this out to him, and he was like, eh, no worries. I have to agree. As much as children play a part in the relationship you aren't dating the kids lol!
WrinkledForehead Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 You have to believe that you would have picked up on it before he was around your children And I assume you've talked to your children so they know the warning signs of adults behaving badly and that they can always talk to you. (Because not everyone who is a sex offender is on the registries.) The statistics on sexual abide are frightening and some men prey on single moms with children to fulfill their paraphilia. It is not always possible to recognize. Glad you dodged that bullet, OP. 2
Targetlock Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 always be cautious i guess, especially with online you never who you are talking to! creepy stuff indeed.
ascendotum Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 always be cautious i guess, especially with online you never who you are talking to! creepy stuff indeed. I agree, though. Its not peculiar just to online. That home handyman that flirts with his female customers could just as easily be sexual weirdo, and just because he is good looking doesn't make his character better either. I suppose OLD would provide a pedo with a better way to find favorable targets though. You need to keep this in context though. As others pointed out, some very minor sex offences can get you branded in the US. In Carhill's example 18 in 20k. say 10k guys and say 14 male and say 9 are pedos, that's 0.09% Women need to keep their wits about them, but scam artists + players abound more. Maybe worried single mothers could just stick with single dads & guys who work at large coys & govt.
Trnamakesnse Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) Not sure what this topic is about... But I've heard stories of 18 yr old bf with 17 yr old gf and parents put him in jail. Idk.... Circumstances can really differ and sex offender register doesn't really get all that specific. That said 18+ with less than 16 weird's me the F out and no. Sex offender registered or not. But then in my state 16 is age of consent so meh I'd never look under 20+ myself. Oh and I'm 27.... and to a previous post DON'T POST PICS WITH KIDS! You may feel the need to put on profile but I myself would only mention it in messaging if I can leave it blank that way they know and aren't attracted for the dangerous reasons. Edited April 3, 2014 by Trnamakesnse
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 My ex's mother was online dating when we first got together. She met a guy about 10 years younger than her who after only 2 weeks was talking marriage. Her daughter googled his name and they found out he had recently been released from prison on a "technicality", but had originally been convicted of paying his cousin $20k to murder his wife. He'd only served 5 years, but the cousin was still serving a 40 year term.
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