apetoape Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 The first date was great and ended with a couple of kisses. Had a second date later on. -I asked her to go on an active date the day before but she couldn't, so she suggested dinner and i said sure - We kissed hello on. Great conversation for the first 30 minutes but it just just died off. Started getting boring, i felt it. It was that awkward period where you sort of run out of convo. -As we were getting our checks, I asked her to take a walk with me in a park nearby...She said she'd love to but needs to do some work. (it was only 8:30pm, so I got the feeling she just wanted to get out of there) -Walked her back to her car which was about 5 minutes away. Half way there, i said HEY, pulled her into me and we started kissing, used tongue this time. Stopped for a second, looked at each other and did it again. Then we walked to her car - Kissed one more time at her car and said goodnight. No follow up text that night Still haven't heard anything from her. Now what? I want to suggest a fun date this Sat but not sure if its too soon. I felt the fact that she didn't want to go on a walk with me after dinner speaks volume about her interest level. What do you think?
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Hmm.. Maaaybe, but not necessarily. The best way to gauge where you stand is to ask her out again.
Emilia Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Wasn't it already dark? Most women won't want to walk in park at 8.30pm. If you kissed like that, it sounds like you have physical attraction between the two of you.
Mo_Do Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Wasn't it already dark? Most women won't want to walk in park at 8.30pm. If you kissed like that, it sounds like you have physical attraction between the two of you. Typically actions speak louder than words, but not in dating! I've been told to get lost the day after huge date make-out sessions, it doesn't mean ***** unfortunately. She's single and has pent up hormones, that's why singles make out on dates.
Author apetoape Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 (edited) Was this milkshake girl? nope new one. Shes a few years older than...29, and I'm 25. Edited April 2, 2014 by apetoape
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Dude - you need to chill a bit. Sounds like you are either very desperate or a player. Additionally, from what I read with milkshake girl and this one - you need to look for better clues about wanting to be kissed. (all these dates...and kisses) A woman, from what I understand, may want a guy to take charge. But they will give you indications on what they want. Both times the silence from your dates came from kissing them. Maybe relax. Kissing doesn't have to happen on the first date - it's a lesson I've learned. Not kissing isn't taken as a sign that you don't like them. Heck, I was told by this board it shows you are a gentleman. Some women believe in kissing on a first date..some don't. Their reaction to your kiss is to go with it..but it's weird. To like it. To not liking it but afraid to back off. Or, they think more about it and realize it's not what they wanted.
Author apetoape Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 The kissing isn't the issue here, it's the positive side of the story. The issue is her not wanting to take a walk after dinner and giving a rather weak excuse I'd say. She actually initiated the last kiss goodnight.
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Ape if that's what you think and refuse to look at the kiss as an issue, then I don't think we can help you. Sometimes there is reflection events that change our initial perceptions (I mean for her, in this case). The board told you the same thing with the milkshake girl. Grabbing women and kissing them on a first or second date when they aren't expecting it (and both times they weren't from your own description) isn't good. Now, maybe they wanted to kiss you..but probably be part of the decision. This isn't the movies and these women aren't your perfect match you've been waiting your whole life for (or you wouldn't be floating between more than one). You can ignore the advice - or wait for a woman to chime in and tell you the same thing.
Author apetoape Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Ape if that's what you think and refuse to look at the kiss as an issue, then I don't think we can help you. Sometimes there is reflection events that change our initial perceptions (I mean for her, in this case). The board told you the same thing with the milkshake girl. Grabbing women and kissing them on a first or second date when they aren't expecting it (and both times they weren't from your own description) isn't good. Now, maybe they wanted to kiss you..but probably be part of the decision. This isn't the movies and these women aren't your perfect match you've been waiting your whole life for (or you wouldn't be floating between more than one). You can ignore the advice - or wait for a woman to chime in and tell you the same thing. Lol you're exactly right this isn't the movies and attraction/chemistry is not created out of thin air, you have to make moves. If they don't like it they can always say no, turn their cheek or back off. It's never forced Well no offense to anyone, but I'm actually looking for experienced successful male casual daters to comment
Zahara Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I went out with a guy on a first date and as we were about to part ways to go to the car, he put his arm around my waist, pulled me in for a kiss. I was stunned and I awkwardly pulled away after a few seconds. I did reciprocate because I didn't know how to say no. I was interested when we met but after that I lost interest. 1) I thought he was pushy. 2) I wondered how many women he was going on first dates with and trying to dart tongue. 3) I was repulsed. 4) I was thinking player because it came across as him being cocky and aggresive. 5) Sitting in the car I told myself that I shouldn't have kissed him back but knew I was only doing it out of awkwardness and the inability and discomfort to pull away/say stop/no. So I hesitantly reciprocated for a few seconds. I read the milkshake girl post. I concur with TNM2014. 2
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 You are sort of right. Chemistry comes from being you. If being you means that these are the moves you make. That's fine. But many women won't like them. You were told that with milkshake woman. Don't read about my current posts and thing I'm not successful. I've been quiet successful and sometimes I've failed. And the woman I'm currently dating, and we have a great chemistry, didn't kiss until the third date...despite knowing there was a chemistry and interest.
Author apetoape Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 I went out with a guy on a first date and as we were about to part ways to go to the car, he put his arm around my waist, pulled me in for a kiss. I was stunned and I awkwardly pulled away after a few seconds. I did reciprocate because I didn't know how to say no. I was interested when we met but after that I lost interest. 1) I thought he was pushy. 2) I wondered how many women he was going on first dates with and trying to dart tongue. 3) I was repulsed. 4) I was thinking player because it came across as him being cocky and aggresive. 5) Sitting in the car I told myself that I shouldn't have kissed him back but knew I was only doing it out of awkwardness and the inability and discomfort to pull away/say stop/no. So I hesitantly reciprocated for a few seconds. I read the milkshake girl post. I concur with TNM2014. This was not the first date. She initiated the 1st kiss and the last one. MMMM????
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 You didn't mention she kissed you on the first date, previously. Even so - a second date is basically a first date with less pretenses too it. Read message after message on the board on how different first and second dates can be (and it's confusing to those who remain interested, but the other doesn't). She made the move the first time - then you should have waited for an indication (because she isn't shy) that she wanted the kiss on the second date. First and second dates are treated very similarly. You are still getting to know and feeling them out. Regardless - just grabbing a woman when they don't expect a kiss is typically not going to work. Chemistry isn't built by kissing. Chemistry comes before the kiss. It's the flirting, it's paying attention to mannerisms, etc. I'm not sure why you want advice from successful male daters? To me, you are kissing a woman - why don't you want their opinions. Us guys only know if our actions work or not..not why. Your actions CLEARLY didn't work. But you'd rather deny a very reasonable and obvious rationale for the lack contact. You don't want advice, you want affirmation and make it something else. Again - saaaamme advice with milkshake girl. And almost everybody agrees. I want to you to be successful..that's why we write back to the Ops.
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 and exactly what Z says..is exactly what I think I woman would feel. I don't know...maybe I'm wrong. I'm building, very slow a beautiful relationship and have had my share of successful ones in the past. Truly..just trying to help.
StanMusial Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 It reads like you followed up an awkward date with an awkward kiss. It is very possible she is not that interested.
Zahara Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 This was not the first date. She initiated the 1st kiss and the last one. MMMM???? More so towards the milkshake girl, in how you were too forward. I'm not sure if you behaved the same way with this date because you have an inability to perceive things any other way except through your own eyes. So, by definition great to you may not have been for her just because she initiated first and last kiss. I can tell you from experience, -- that just because a woman initiates a kiss, it doesn't mean anything. I remember dating a guy a few years ago -- I found him interesting at first but then when we kissed, I didn't feel it. But what I did was try to keep it going because I thought I could find that chemistry, I thought I could find that physical spark -- but I didn't. I remember date three, I was leaving and by that time I had resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't happening but as he was walking me to my car, I reached and initiated a kiss. Nothing. That was that.
ja123 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 This biggest indicator that this thing is dead in the water, imo, is the fact that the convo died out mid-way. You said that you felt that it got boring. Then you tried to resuscitate it at the end with some mouth-to-mouth. But it's over, man. You two don't have chemistry. Just move on.
clia Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 If we couldn't even keep the conversation going over dinner on a second date, I wouldn't be all that inclined to see the guy again.
MissBee Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 The first date was great and ended with a couple of kisses. Had a second date later on. -I asked her to go on an active date the day before but she couldn't, so she suggested dinner and i said sure - We kissed hello on. Great conversation for the first 30 minutes but it just just died off. Started getting boring, i felt it. It was that awkward period where you sort of run out of convo. -As we were getting our checks, I asked her to take a walk with me in a park nearby...She said she'd love to but needs to do some work. (it was only 8:30pm, so I got the feeling she just wanted to get out of there) -Walked her back to her car which was about 5 minutes away. Half way there, i said HEY, pulled her into me and we started kissing, used tongue this time. Stopped for a second, looked at each other and did it again. Then we walked to her car - Kissed one more time at her car and said goodnight. No follow up text that night Still haven't heard anything from her. Now what? I want to suggest a fun date this Sat but not sure if its too soon. I felt the fact that she didn't want to go on a walk with me after dinner speaks volume about her interest level. What do you think? Did you expect her to send a follow up text? Why didn't you? I know many women prefer for the man to take the lead in the early stages of dating and would prefer it if you were the one to have sent the follow up text instead of waiting for her to do so.
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