Trovador Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 ... don't know what these guys are doing on this forum, they should be stalking their exes right away and believing everything the exes post is intended for them... ...it's like right now they are shi***** on all the advice people give them here... if it wasn't so sad it would be ridiculous...
DontBreakEven Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 ... don't know what these guys are doing on this forum, they should be stalking their exes right away and believing everything the exes post is intended for them... ...it's like right now they are shi***** on all the advice people give them here... if it wasn't so sad it would be ridiculous... Really? Please with 100% honesty tell me you have never ever checked up on an ex via social media. Give me a break. If you are so healthy and taking your own advice, what are YOU doing here?
Trovador Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Maybe I am here to give a hand to someone, the way people 4 YEARS AGO did with me... I, at least, am grateful for that and don't sh** on good people making the effort of reading a thread and try to help through a post, or at least the virtual equivalent of listening... That's all, for all I care you can stalk your ex all you want but don't come here to ask for advice, hypocrite too much?
anemptycup Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 (edited) Maybe I am here to give a hand to someone, the way people 4 YEARS AGO did with me... I, at least, am grateful for that and don't sh** on good people making the effort of reading a thread and try to help through a post, or at least the virtual equivalent of listening... That's all, for all I care you can stalk your ex all you want but don't come here to ask for advice, hypocrite too much? hey there established member... we're all going through a very difficult time here - and sharing our stories and being open about our weaknesses - getting advice from experienced people on here has been an incredible help.. we're living in a very difficult time with all the social media, and this topic is helpful to explore... i wish i were strong enough to cut her out of my life and thoughts completely - but as i'm sure you know - it just doesn't work that way.. and with the hundreds of different ways to connect to each other these days, it's even more difficult (not impossible - but much more difficult) than it was even 4 years ago.. I think everyone on this thread agrees No contact is crucial for healing and moving on - and we are all TRYING to do it - did you read what DontBreakEven wrote in a previous post? this thread has inspired her determination for NC... and it's also helped me - so, i'm not sure the intention of your post - is it trying to help in anyway? or do you feel annoyed and irritated? either way - as i said earlier - a lot of hurting people here - some of whom have no one else to turn to - I'm not perfect - and the way i have handled my break-up has been far from perfect - but I'm doing my best. Despite many people on here spelling out clearly what NC really is - there's still no problem to continue to clarify what exactly NC constitutes - and threads like this help - for example - some folks still think it just means emailing - or calling - but that maybe snooping a friend of her's is ok - or even things like checking out the "likes" on pictures... or any of the things we have been talking about - it's just good to talk and explore... rest assured we all understand the importance of NC in moving on and healing and we're all trying to help each other through this. Edited April 4, 2014 by anemptycup 2
Author arghzme Posted April 4, 2014 Author Posted April 4, 2014 Maybe I am here to give a hand to someone, the way people 4 YEARS AGO did with me... I, at least, am grateful for that and don't sh** on good people making the effort of reading a thread and try to help through a post, or at least the virtual equivalent of listening... That's all, for all I care you can stalk your ex all you want but don't come here to ask for advice, hypocrite too much? Trovador, as an established member with 500+ posts, you should understand the crap most of us on this forum are going through. I'm sure you too did 4 years back, but then lets face it, forms of staying in touch with your partner were very limited then. It was a lot more easy to go NC on them. It is 100x more difficult now. 1
Lifegoezon Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Agreed it's more difficult and requires greater effort and self control. But ALL forms of communicating, stalking, snooping and generally giving yourself reasons to think of your ex (including poring over old photos, letters, emails, texts ad nauseum) IS CONTACT. Just stop all of it and get rid of anything that undermines your efforts. Yes it's hard - BUs are hard! Your aim is to not think of your ex and that is NEVER going to happen without total disconnect. 1
Noproblem Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Well, you will stalk her profile for a month or two Then you will feel that it's unhealthy and it's not doing you any good since she seems so happy and not showing any signs of sadness ( most of the time it's fake happiness but whatever) So, you'll decide to either deactivate Facebook or to block her account... 1
Simon Phoenix Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Trovador, as an established member with 500+ posts, you should understand the crap most of us on this forum are going through. I'm sure you too did 4 years back, but then lets face it, forms of staying in touch with your partner were very limited then. It was a lot more easy to go NC on them. It is 100x more difficult now. Facebook was pretty rampant four years ago and even Twitter had started up by then. 10 years ago it was real easy to go NC. Either way, cyber-stalking isn't going to help.
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Wish it would just go away already Guess I'm lucky in that I never got on board with this crap, so avoiding the ex on FB is not a problem. And I know she is anbsolute FB whore. Many fiends she has never met. Always posting. Always checking. In constant need of attention from anyone who will give it. Barf!!! 2
Vanilla_Tinkie Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Wish it would just go away already Guess I'm lucky in that I never got on board with this crap, so avoiding the ex on FB is not a problem. And I know she is anbsolute FB whore. Many fiends she has never met. Always posting. Always checking. In constant need of attention from anyone who will give it. Barf!!! I recently read an article that said people who is very active on facebook tends to have a very low self esteem, how true it is I don't know but it is interesting to think about. 2
anemptycup Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 Wish it would just go away already Guess I'm lucky in that I never got on board with this crap, so avoiding the ex on FB is not a problem. And I know she is anbsolute FB whore. Many fiends she has never met. Always posting. Always checking. In constant need of attention from anyone who will give it. Barf!!! mtnbiker3000 that pretty much describes my ex - but maginified by 100 - she's all over twitter - instagram, yelp, meetup.com, you name it! what'sapp... gazillion other apps... totally addicted to social media and the internet... before i met her - i felt content with less.. now she's gone - i feel i am missing out on SO MUCH in life and just have no idea how to do it all! i guess she left me feeling the way she does! like, she's missing out - wants to do it all and time is running out... - sorry getting a bit off topic here.. identity crisis going from WE to ME i guess...
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 4, 2014 Posted April 4, 2014 identity crisis going from WE to ME i guess... This is common and, admittedly, is a pretty big challenge. But you will bounce back to where you want to be. We all will. Just takes time and some work. Got to hang in there!! 1
Author arghzme Posted April 5, 2014 Author Posted April 5, 2014 This is common and, admittedly, is a pretty big challenge. But you will bounce back to where you want to be. We all will. Just takes time and some work. Got to hang in there!! Agreed. Time is what will eventually heal it. We just need to live knowing that nothing will be the same again. And if there is the little 0.01% hope inside you, KILL IT. It will drive you insane. Time is the best medicine. 1
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