sweetpea01 Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Almost 2 yrs ago, I met a really nice guy when I went to the park. He gave me his number, and asked me for mine. I wasn't physically attracted to him, but I was newly single, I just gave it to him anyway. We talked on the phone, and after the first conversation, I knew he SOOOOO wasn't my type. But still, he was extremely sweet, and recalled everything I had said the previous time. He was really into social work, so we had some common ground. He asked me out a couple times, and every time I politely made an excuse as to why I could not make it. He kept asking me if I thought HE and I would work out...I told him I was newly single, and wasn't looking for anything of the sort. If he wanted to be my friend, than okay - but if he wanted more, we should stop talking. He said he was okay with friends. I thought I had made my boundaries clear. He stopped asking me out for awhile. We just had some philosophical phone conversations, and over time I really started to enjoy phone conversations. Around the same time, I met someone, and started to date him. I am still dating him, and have told the other guy (from the park) that I have a bf. I don't know if he disregards it, but he has started to ask me out again! Coffee, to museums, dinner, exhibits at the park/zoo, to attend his martial arts ceremony, etc. Well, now I am downright annoyed by it, and I don't return his phone calls. But, I hate to be rude, so I am not quite sure what to do. He's incredibly smart, thoughtful, sweet, nice, etc...but I do not have romantic feelings for him. I appreciate his friendship though, which is why we talked on the phone to begin with. I don't want to call and be like - stop asking me out! That would be rude - yet I don't want to ignore him. How do you be tactful about this? I'm not good at this kind of stuff!!! Sweetpea
Merin Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Next time he calls tell him what you've said here minus a few things.. Let him know that you value your FRIENDSHIP with him. That you like him as a PERSON but that you have a BF and you don't feel comfortable with him inviting you out. The WORST thing you can do IMO is to make an "excuse" why you can't go out with him.. this may be giving him the idea that you want to but something always comes up.. be more direct (without being rude) and let him know you're not down for anything more that friendship. Good Luck
mt_joy Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Just tell him flat out that you don't appreciate him asking you out when he knows you have a boyfriend. Don't beat around teh bush because most guys cannot take a hint. If he still doesn't stop, maybe you need to drop him as a friend completely. Joy MT Student
tigerskye Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Tell him that you have a boyfriend and that you value his friendship but cannot go out on dates. If he wants to have a conversatin on phone or internet that is fine, but make it clear NO DATES including lunch or whatever
dyermaker Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 Don't make the boyfriend thing the issue of contention, because then if you break up with him this guy'll start asking you out again.
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