Moose19 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) I'll attempt to make this short. Dated a girl for two months, I hurt her pretty bad. I know she wanted me to love her, but at the time I just wasn't sure, so I neglected her love towards the end. Relationship just kinda fizzled out, I would contact her, she would ignore calls and texts, then she would contact me, I would ignore her till eventually we went about 2 weeks without contact. We recently had a few texts, how are you etc . . . I told her I still thought about her, she said we would get together and talk. . . Never happened, but during that time I realized how much I cared for her. So I sent her a letter basically telling her I loved her, and how I wasn't sure before, but knew now I wanted to be with her. In the letter I told her if she had moved on to just ignore me. . . She texted me a day later . . ." Don't think I'm ignoring you because I'm not, I've just been busy. . ." . . Made me think I had a chance. . . .we texted a few times over a couple days, then she told me " she was sorry, but she didn't want to lead me on, we could be friends" . . . She might be conflicted. In the meantime I found out she's now dating a guy that was pursuing her when we were dating, I'm Fairly confident this is a rebound guy . . . At the time she chose me over him, now the roles are reversed. . . . I think she still has feelings for me, but is just responding out of hurt. What do you guys think? Did I blow it? I'm thinking I should leave her alone for awhile. Thanks guys, much appreciated. Edited April 2, 2014 by Moose19
Lost And Found Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 You hurt her, and to me it looks like her attraction level for you dropped to the point where she felt she'd had enough - hence the 'let's be friends' talk. What you should have told her at this point, is that you only want something romantic with her, and that you're not interested in just a friendship. If she's still firm on wanting to just be freinds. Let her know if she changes her mind, to get in touch with you. Then you must walk and never look back. IF and only if her attraction level for you is high enough, she will contact you. You shouldn't have sent her that letter, talk of love/commitment would have only put pressure on her. You have to walk and not look back. Right now all you can do is keep active, work on achieving your goals, better yourself. Remember, if this guy she's dating screws up, and IF her attraction level for you is still high enough for you, she will contact you. If not, then it just wasn't meant to be my friend. In the meantime, keep busy, hang with your friends, date other women (it will really help your confidence, but don't force yourself to if you're not quite ready to yet). 1
Author Moose19 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Thanks Lost and Found. Yeah, i guess i gotta just let her go. It'll be tough, but it needs to be done. Thank you for responding.
Lost And Found Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 It's always tough. Things really do get better with time, as cliche as that sounds. I got sick of hearing that sentence at first, I was sure that that things wouldn't get better - but they do. The very worst thing you can do is isolate yourself and do nothing. No matter how tempting that is, just don't do it. Surround yourself with the people you love, your friends and family. Keep yourself very busy, take up a new hobby for example. If you find yourself thinking about your ex, then you're not keeping busy. There will be some days worse that others, it's only natural, but they will be less frequent with time. With my first ex (who I thought I loved), I was in your position. But eventually I realised, I was in love with the idea of being with someone, not her. How could I love someone who rejected me, after giving it my all. I deserved someone who appreciated me, for who I was. And so do you. There are over 6 billion people out there, almost half of them women. Don't get hung up over just one, if she can't respect you, and if your all is not enough for her - do you really want to be with her? Somewhere out there there's someone for all of us, but we must be able to notice them - which isn't possible when you're hung up on your ex. It's all about healing, learning from your experiences (be thankful for them), and getting to where you want to be. Stay strong friend.
Author Moose19 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 I thought about that, maybe I'm just in love with the idea. . . It's just weird for me, I've never been truly in love before, I never get this way. What surprises me most is that I have all these feelings. . . . It won be that hard to get over, it was a short relationship. You're the man, thanks again. 1
Recommended Posts