Cessius Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 My ex and I met in my second year of community college. We become friends while she was dealing with a break up from a really bad relationship. After a few months we started dating. We both transferred to the same school and did everything together as we had the same degree. We made friends at the new college and were mutual. We finally broke up because I was not ready to move in together and get married and she was tired of forcing me into a deeper relationship. It has been 6 days since the break up and I have a lot of complicated issues that I would like to sort out with everyone. First off we have stayed in contact on and off up to the fifth day where yesterday she stopped responding. I got tired of being ignored and stopped as well. I am now planning to practice NC to the fullest to get over it and not promote the anger and sadness that is being portrayed in the text messages and calls. First, she dropped out of two courses while a junior and is now in 2 classes with me so I am forced to see her for a minimum of 4 hours every M-W-F. How do I do this? She is talking to friends that I sit by and the class is small so avoiding her is hard at best. Second, I get sent reminders from her cell when she is leaving her place or has been somewhere for a long time. I have been trying to ignore these for a long time but after talking to a mutual friend, that she has expressed attraction for, he gave me his address. I got a notification this morning that she had left his place after being there for 14 hours (all night) Am I suppose to let this just roll off my shoulders? I talked to him and asked if he wanted to grab a beer some time this weekend and he responds that he feels like he is in a tug-a-war with us and that he is staying out of this (although he clearly is not). I finally turned off the notifications because it was just hurting me and having me asking questions more than helping. How do I practice NC when she is literately everywhere in my life? Talking to all my friends and acting like this? So far I have been talking to a friend that doesn't know her well and promised that he would not have any sort of contact with her and someone that I know that now lives in Texas. Should I just do this for 3 more months when she will finally graduate and leave the school so my last year will be better?
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hell, I would try to transfer now while the semester is still new and people still have the option of dropping. What she did and what your friend is doing is screwed up! 14 hours at his place and you haven't even been broken up a week? Some friend you got there! What is it with all these threads about friends sleeping with our Ex's lately?!?! Seems to be a trend going on here! Drop her and drop your friend. Move on. Don't engage either one of them and I strongly suggest transferring somewhere else.
Author Cessius Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Thanks for the response. I cannot transfer from the university at this point. There would be no way for me to pick the classes back up at the next closest college which is 90 minutes away in time. And I don't know that she was sleeping with him but it is a studio apartment and while she may have just been drinking with him and couldn't drive home I feel like that is just making excuses for her. I am trying to maintain NC with her on a day by day basis as that is all I can really handle at this point. In time it will all be better and both people will no longer be part of my life, but damn it sure feels like I'm getting ripped apart in the process.
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Dude, spending 14 hours in a small studio apartment; the dude is now giving you excuses on not meeting up with you for a beer? We suffering from a little guilt? Afraid to face you? If it was innocent, he would have no problem meeting up with you. When you have classes together, does she try and engage in conversations with you?
Farsightt Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I'm so sorry for your situation. That's brutal. What you can take from this is clarity. You don't want to be with someone who can so easily do this. That being said, it doesn't negate the hurt you feel. Again I'm sorry for the situation you are in.
Author Cessius Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 In classes I am very smart, sit in the front, very animated. She is very similar however with the few classes that we have had, as the term just started, I have sat in the front and she has sat in the back. When I answered questions in class or made jokes I could hear her laughing but she never has directly talked to me other than asking if I wanted my clothes out of her car about an hour before class. The guy is a marine so I don't think he is afraid to face me. However I will be forced to see him tomorrow and see how he acts around me. I don't think this would hurt so bad if we hadn't went ring shopping the weekend before and were picking out a house to buy together. It just seems like one day she was happy and the next day she pulls out the rug and drops me on my face. It really helps talking to you guys about it though. Getting this off my chest and see that I am not alone in these feelings has got me in a good mood. (That's a lie... It is a better mood but no where near good)
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