Astron Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hi everybody, I’ll get straight to the point. I’m 28 and my gf is 27. We are together for 6 months. We really love each other. I can feel this. I never felt like this for a girl and it great. Of course, after some months, the relationship is evolving and you start to see also other things and become more realistic. There are a few things that bother me though. -She is not very well educated. She's not stupid, she is rather intelligent and smart, but didn’t have the chance for a good education, because also of her family. She went from high-school directly to work as she needed money. Me: I have a master degree and speak 3 languages. She barely knows English. She now started to take some lessons to improve. She never went to a foreign country, not even on holidays. I'm making efforts and support her and try to show her other things that she didn't have the chance to do. But sometimes I'm thinking with someone else I wouldn't have had these issues. I think these things matter somehow and are important for one’s development nowadays. She is not lazy. I see her quite ambitious. She comes from a relatively poor family. I have to admit these things bother me somehow. How important are these things for you? Is love everything that matters?
stillafool Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If you aren't comfortable with her level of education that is all that matters. I wonder why people bother to date people who they feel are not in their league only to complain about them later. Please do not string her along if you are not interested in taking the relationship further. 1
HappyLove Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Good luck finding someone up to your "standards" they may think you're not good enough as well.
Mrin Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Good question. I am way over educated. I have a Juris Doctor, MBA and two Bachelors degrees. Yet I don't really respect a college education nor is it a requirement for those I date. I've met tons of smart uneducated people out there and plenty of dumb educated ones as well. That being said - once you figure how you feel about it you also need to figure out how she feels about it. This includes her family and upbringing vs yours. I've casually dated a woman without a college degree as well as a very well educated woman who came from poverty and tough upbringings. Both were very cognizant of this fact and the disparity when it came to me. Both harbored inferiority complexes about it. Mmmm maybe that's not the right word - it made both uncomfortable. This is totally natural and solvable. You just need to be aware of the sensitivity and probably watch yourself. Lay off the stories of cramming for the GRE or the story about the time your family went to Austria for Xmas. To you it might be sharing but to her it is a reminder that somehow she's an interloper.
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I would rather be with a smart and uneducated woman than a dumb and educated woman.
Gaeta Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Moral values, integrity, honesty, hard working, loyalty, generosity of the heart are qualities I look for before education. I know plenty of educated people that are awful parents and mates. But if you feel someone with your level of education and your financial mean would be a better mate it's not wrong of you. What is wrong is for you to be with someone you don't respect 100%. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 None of those things are permanent. If she is otherwise intelligent, she can get a degree. You can take her to other places. Travel is an expensive proposition. If she had to go to work early to support herself it's unreasonable to expect her to have travelled. If she is willing to expand her horizons & has a thirst for knowledge she'd be a better fit than someone who had opportunities but didn't' care or squandered them.
soccerrprp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I am puzzled as to why after 6-months????? Oh, geez. I can't imagine the shock she would be in if things SUDDENLY changed b/c it took you so long to come to grips with details that you have ALWAYS been aware of... 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Moral values, integrity, honesty, hard working, loyalty, generosity of the heart are qualities I look for before education. ^that stuff and boobs 1
hardliner Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hi everybody, I’ll get straight to the point. I’m 28 and my gf is 27. We are together for 6 months. We really love each other. I can feel this. I never felt like this for a girl and it great. Of course, after some months, the relationship is evolving and you start to see also other things and become more realistic. There are a few things that bother me though. -She is not very well educated. She's not stupid, she is rather intelligent and smart, but didn’t have the chance for a good education, because also of her family. She went from high-school directly to work as she needed money. Me: I have a master degree and speak 3 languages. She barely knows English. She now started to take some lessons to improve. She never went to a foreign country, not even on holidays. I'm making efforts and support her and try to show her other things that she didn't have the chance to do. But sometimes I'm thinking with someone else I wouldn't have had these issues. I think these things matter somehow and are important for one’s development nowadays. She is not lazy. I see her quite ambitious. She comes from a relatively poor family. I have to admit these things bother me somehow. How important are these things for you? Is love everything that matters? I see your lack of grammar and punctuation makes me wonder how you earned a master's degree and learned 3 languages.
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