rcds Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I've been friends with a MW for years now. We've hung out in group settings before and have seemed to always click and get each other. Nothing beyond friendship though. She reached out to me recently about the problems she's been having. That she was going to leave him but was scared. Before long we both opened up that we had feelings for each other for quite some time. Well now it's like we've opened pandora's box. When she told him she was leaving he talked her into trying to work it out first. Says she will give it a few months because she would feel guilty if she didn't, but that she doesn't love him anymore. She also has 2 kids. Thing is, we talk every night for hours on chat. It's not really on a friendship level anymore. She makes me feel amazing, and would consider her to be my dream girl. I've told her I don't want anything to do with this until they split, but she's very open about her feelings towards me and how she thinks about me all the time. I feel so conflicted
blue963 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If your single, just wait for her situation to be divorced. Will be much easier all around. 1
Speakingofwhich Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I feel so conflicted If you allow the relationship to progress your conflict will increase and begin to include guilt. Good sign that you're feeling conflicted. Your psyche is warning you.
Wambo Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 PDF "I wouldn't want to be in your situation!" That what a friend said after i told him about my emotional affair. The only major difference between our situation is I tried to pull the plug a year into the affair and it took me a further year to experience 100% NC. In the end she didn't leave him and because I fell in love with her, I had no other choice but to let her go. We went past the point where we could be friends again and we were good friends. Like in your situation it was platonic but I came out losing everything. You on the otherhand have the choice of trying to save your friendship because if she stays in the marriage, at least she still play a part in your life. The best thing to do is re-install the boundaries and never contact her outside the group sessions. This way she can face her marriage problems head on and not run away by contacting you all the time.
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