Confused and Divided Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) We were together about 3.8 years, and then she broke up with me one day saying she lost the attraction and has to work on herself. 2 weeks later, she started dating him, though I didn't know that at the time. I went NC that day. Here we are, 2 months later. I talked to a ton of girls, going on many dates, and one stuck out as truly special. More special than anything. After about a month of dates, I made it official with her. We'll call her K. Then one night, on one of the VERY few times a year I actually drank, I broke NC with my ex just to say we should talk. I didn't have intentions to cheat on K, and in fact, I knew very strongly I wouldn't. (And I didn't). Well, anyways, the ex, we'll call her A, agrees and we meet up. We go for a walk, and it wasn't hard for me to figure out she was with this new guy. He is a creep, way older than her, has a couple DUIs etc. I told her about K, too. Well, long story short, I told A there's no way you're over us, and you jumped into that relationship... and truthfully, I have too. I told her she made a mistake breaking up, because people fall in and out of love, it would have passed. She then told me her new guy and her got into a fight already (1 month into dating) and he drop kicked the door, and then punched their fish tank and destroyed it in rage. At that point, I become very concerned. And still am. He, of course, said he'd never do it again... but seriously, let's be real. Who thinks it isn't going to happen again? Come on. I explained that to her. She said she now has to think and talk to her new guy, because she realizes she has feelings for me. It sucks, because he was a distant mutual friend (though I always pegged him as creepy) that has backstabbed me. It also sucks because I know she has entered into an abusive relationship. But I realized I want to be with K. I miss my ex every day, but I choose K. However, I know her relationship with this guy is unstable, and it is going to get worse and worse. Of course, I know most people will simply say that's her choice, let her learn. But would you all be ok if your sisters, mother, or girl you dated and loved to death were in that situation? I don't really know what to do. Edited April 1, 2014 by Confused and Divided
elseaacych Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 You should let mutual friends know. If they care for her, they will take the initiative to help her. That is the best you can do in this situation without further complicating things for you or K. 1
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I would stop contacting your Ex. You said that you're dedicated to K, then show it. You meeting up with your Ex is very disrespectful towards K and it's not fair to her. If you are still hung up on your Ex, it's again, not fair to K and she deserves someone that wants to be with her because there's no other place in the world he would rather be. How would K feel if she knew you met up with your Ex? Because, I have a feeling she doesn't know about it. And if she did, I highly doubt she approved of the meet up. Now, about your Ex. If she is in an abusive relationship, then that's her deal. If you're concerned, then tell mutual friends as someone else suggested. But, she made a choice to be with this guy. She chose him over you. So, if she feels that she made a mistake, then that's her mistake; not yours! 2
mangetout Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I would stop contacting your Ex. You said that you're dedicated to K, then show it. You meeting up with your Ex is very disrespectful towards K and it's not fair to her. If you are still hung up on your Ex, it's again, not fair to K and she deserves someone that wants to be with her because there's no other place in the world he would rather be. How would K feel if she knew you met up with your Ex? Because, I have a feeling she doesn't know about it. And if she did, I highly doubt she approved of the meet up. Now, about your Ex. If she is in an abusive relationship, then that's her deal. If you're concerned, then tell mutual friends as someone else suggested. But, she made a choice to be with this guy. She chose him over you. So, if she feels that she made a mistake, then that's her mistake; not yours! Totally agree. My ex fiancé met up with one of his exes for coffee three times and ended up sleeping with her! He thought he was in control of his feelings and thought it WS safe to be in her company. If you still care for your ex you will be relighting your feelings for her.leave it alone. Your ex is NOT your family. She needs to make her own decisions. Don't disrespect your current girlfriend like that. You think K would agree to you meeting up with your ex? Stop playing hero and focus on your new life. You cannot be friends with your ex. End of
Voldemortt Posted April 5, 2014 Posted April 5, 2014 (edited) Agreed.... Edited April 5, 2014 by Voldemortt
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