ThursdayChild Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hi everyone My younger brother and I share a wedding anniversary. When they were planning their wedding his wife didn't know my anniversary and my brother had forgotten the date until everything was planned and paid for. I got married 7 years before them. Their first anniversary is coming up. My best friend made me a collage for my anniversary of pictures of myself, my child and several of my wedding photos. Would it be nice to send this to them on their/our anniversary? Or would this be rude and look passive aggressive? Thank you everyone.
David87 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I think that is way better to give them something else.
almond Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly... Your best friend took the time to make YOU a collage for YOUR anniversary, comprised of pictures of YOUR wedding, YOUR children and YOU. And you're asking if you should send this gift, full of photos of YOU and YOUR wedding, to your younger brother and his wife as a gift for THEIR wedding anniversary? Lol. No, this is not a good idea. In fact, in every single way that I can think of, it's a very bad idea. 6
Author ThursdayChild Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly... Your best friend took the time to make YOU a collage for YOUR anniversary, comprised of pictures of YOUR wedding, YOUR children and YOU. And you're asking if you should send this gift, full of photos of YOU and YOUR wedding, to your younger brother and his wife as a gift for THEIR wedding anniversary? Lol. No, this is not a good idea. In fact, in every single way that I can think of, it's a very bad idea. You are correct however I didn't mean as a gift, just to send it to them to share with them. But I am wondering if this could come across badly?
almond Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Yes, it would probably come across badly...I would think it incredibly weird at best. I find this a pretty ridiculous idea to be honest with you. What are you trying to achieve with this exactly? I'm sure they were at the wedding themselves, right? So why would they need to see a collage of it on THEIR wedding anniversary? And why would you want to make THEIR anniversary about YOU and YOUR life, to the extent that you are actually considering sending a collage of yourself to THEM on THEIR wedding anniversary? Lol. If you want to share it, why not just wait till they visit next? Can you see what I'm trying to get across here? Send them a gift to celebrate and congratulate them on their anniversary, or send them nothing at all. 2
AnneT1985 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I agree with Almond. I understand maybe you're upset that they "stole your thunder" or something but it is just a day and does not matter. Life goes on. It will come across as resentful and very passive aggressive and actually not very nice in my opinion. Why not send them a card and have some fun in sharing your day?
TXGuy Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Chances are that you share 'your' anniversary with 1/365 of the worlds population of married couples. Of those millions of couples, no one cares that your anniversary is the same day, including your brother and his wife. Your anniversary is a special day for you and your wife, not for anyone else. The fact that your brother's falls on the same day as yours is an interesting bit of trivia, but does not make his (or yours) any more special or any less special. I don't care about the anniversaries of my friends and family. That is a special day for them, not me. If they want to have a big party for milestone anniversaries (10, 25, 50) I might attend, but there ends the significance. You never have to worry about sharing milestone anniversaries with your brother because of the 7 year difference. Sending him a copy of your anniversary present/pictures would not be a good idea. I would put it somewhere between tacky and creepy. 2
Author ThursdayChild Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 I appreciate everyone's opinions thanks
Silly_Girl Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly... Your best friend took the time to make YOU a collage for YOUR anniversary, comprised of pictures of YOUR wedding, YOUR children and YOU. And you're asking if you should send this gift, full of photos of YOU and YOUR wedding, to your younger brother and his wife as a gift for THEIR wedding anniversary? Lol. No, this is not a good idea. In fact, in every single way that I can think of, it's a very bad idea. I needed to like this post several times but there was no facility for it. 1
MissBee Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Maybe it's just me...but besides the big anniversaries, like say 25 years, or so, where a couple might have a huge celebration, I thought wedding anniversaries were private affairs celebrated between the couple and not like a birthday or some such where it's a family affair? Since I see wedding anniversaries as that which you and your spouse commemorate with your own private plans....I don't really see how anyone can "steal your thunder" or mess things up for you by sharing the same anniversary. In my mind you will be celebrating your anniversaries privately with your own spouses and it's not like there will be usually some big event to coordinate that you have to vie for guests and shared time. I also didn't think people commonly gave couples anniversary gifts, unless of course it's one of those big milestones where they have some formal event. What your friend did was sweet but I don't see it as the norm where people often give couples wedding anniversary gifts. I imagine that mostly it's your own spouse who would give you gifts....maybe a family member might give you a card or something but just in my own life I haven't witnessed, outside of big anniversaries, other people giving a couple gifts. Long and short of it is: I don't see what difference it makes that you share an anniversary and I don't see why you'd need to send them your anniversary gift to look at on their anniversary. It seems a bit passive aggressive and I think you might already figure this is strange, since you thought to ask for opinions on it ....don't do it. The next time you see them you can share it.
ufo8mycat Posted April 3, 2014 Posted April 3, 2014 Why don't you make them a similar collage using photos of them, on their wedding day and celebrating their life together. Would be a nice thought and much less weird.
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