barbossa Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 rejected in any sense of the word when it comes to dating. Have you evolved through the years on how you deal with being rejected? DO you laugh it off? play it cool? avoid the person?
David87 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 When i'm rejected, I go straight for the next girl. Play it cool always, It's a little embarrassing but better try than wonder
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I never considered myself rejected. I considered others still lucky to be able to have me.
David87 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I never considered myself rejected. I considered others still lucky to be able to have me. Someone loves himself a little too much .
pickflicker Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 rejected in any sense of the word when it comes to dating. Have you evolved through the years on how you deal with being rejected? DO you laugh it off? play it cool? avoid the person? Once exposed to enough rejection, you become desensitised to it. Just look at trying to get a job in a competitive market - pretty soon, it just becomes a "meh" moment. So to answer your question, the way I cope with being rejected, is having received enough of it that the mourning process is shorter because of a certain amount of desensitisation. And you should be rejected, from time to time. Otherwise, you're not aiming high enough, and playing it too safe. 5
mangetout Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 That's a tough emotion to deal with but in the long run you need to think that its not because you are not good enough. Thats your bruised ego talking and making you feel worse about yourself. Just see it as that person was wrong for you. And one day you will find someone who is right for you. 1
soccerrprp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I never considered myself rejected. I considered others still lucky to be able to have me. I hear you TNBSB. I feel a combination of "oh, well, darn" and "it's time to move on b/c you're (the rejecting person) the one who lost on someone special, great." ---------------------------------------------- I don't know about this. And you should be rejected, from time to time. Otherwise, you're not aiming high enough, and playing it too safe. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I put no thought into rejection. If it happens, it happens. Probably the least bit I could care about something like that.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't put much thought into rejection either - just move on and find someone else. The thing I struggle with often is people with profiles who say they want long term - then they offer YOU sex.. That hits me hard :-/ 1
oz-missy Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) Depends on the level of attachment - if it's fleeting I move on right away. If it's a lot more, get drunk with friends then hit the town....next! Edited April 1, 2014 by oz-missy typo 1
AnneT1985 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 It might temporarily feel like a rejection but speaking as a woman it is usually nothing personal at all! Keep er moving!
GoreSP Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 rejected in any sense of the word when it comes to dating. Have you evolved through the years on how you deal with being rejected? DO you laugh it off? play it cool? avoid the person? I allow myself to sulk for one evening then I move on.
mangetout Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't put much thought into rejection either - just move on and find someone else. The thing I struggle with often is people with profiles who say they want long term - then they offer YOU sex.. That hits me hard :-/ I hear you OP. In this case that particular person is either a liar and uses that comment as bait to get sex, or you are not the complete package for them. I would sniff them out first before.
GoreSP Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't put much thought into rejection either - just move on and find someone else. The thing I struggle with often is people with profiles who say they want long term - then they offer YOU sex.. That hits me hard :-/ Yeah - that sucks big time (pun not intended...) 1
TheNoBSBuddhist Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Someone loves himself a little too much . It is everyone's duty to 'love themselves' above all others. If you don't - who will? 1
shet Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If it was over quickly, I laugh. If it took a lot of investment, I cry and shut myself away. Sometimes for months. Sometimes for years.
Cuthroat Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I see rejection with a sense of indifference, I always have. When it comes to be being rejected it’s not something to write home about, more of a fleeting moment before moving on to the next. I will say that I have noticed that not letting it affect you seems to be attractive to quite a lot of people.
ltjg45 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't deal with rejection. I simply lose care and go back to whether I was doing.
GravityMan Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I just play it cool and put it behind me quickly. Learning how to cope with rejection and not make a big deal out of it is one thing people should learn early in life. Ideally, a teenager with a good upbringing can hit the ground running at 15 years old...he'd already be comfortable in his own skin, have a good attitude towards the opposite sex and know not to take things personally.
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 If it's when a long term or committed relationship ends due to the other person's decision, that's the hardest type of rejection I think. Realising that they came to realise they would be happier without you as a partner is as devastating a feeling as I've ever felt and it made me doubt myself very much... am I a good person? Am I attractive? Am I funny? Am I suffocating? Lots of things that I never had reason to question when things were good. You just wonder what you did that's so bad they don't want to be with you anymore, especially when there's no clear set reason for why they wanted out. I usually get over really painful breakups by getting back out there, dating, having fun, surrounding myself with friends. As for rejection in dating, it doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes I didn't feel it and so I politely told them after a date or two that I felt more of a friendship vibe but I was really glad I'd met them. Other times we both obviously didn't feel it so we didn't really get back in touch for a second date. Other times I liked them, enjoyed the date/s and wanted to see them again but it never materialised. Sometimes I'd ask them straight 'just wondered, why do you think it is that we never saw each other again?' in case there was something glaring about the date or my demeanour that I couldn't see, but I'd only ever ask out of curiosity and the rejection itself didn't hurt. Dating is about finding the right person for you and sometimes that takes meeting and dating a LOT of people before you find someone who is as smitten with you and wants the same goals as you are with them and want. It's natural to sometimes be the rejector, sometimes the rejected. It's just life so that part never bothered me. 1
MissBee Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 rejected in any sense of the word when it comes to dating. Have you evolved through the years on how you deal with being rejected? DO you laugh it off? play it cool? avoid the person? Depends on the kind of rejection. I mostly have experience with rejection in the sense of a break up in which there was some relationship which already existed, some attachment and investment and then having the other person decide it's not working. It's a difficult pill to swallow, but all I can do is lick my wounds and realize that eventually it won't hurt and something else will come along. Rejection is never fun or easy but I do think taking the stance that it's not personal and that someone not choosing you is okay helps.
gaius Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) I just assume it's an issue on their end. There was one job I applied for and didn't get. It probably would have been a good position for me, given me some of the exact kind of experience and contacts I could use. And I didn't get it. But I honestly didn't feel unworthy or anything, I just felt like they didn't realize what they were passing up on. And kind of felt bad for them. Same applies to dating...... Edited April 1, 2014 by gaius
ltjg45 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I find it hard to understand how someone rejecting you in a relationship is 'not personal'. It might not be personal in being rejected for a work position, make the team, etc. but a relationship? 'Don't cry, it's not you but me '...you really believed this? The only woman I ever got close to being in a relationship with has told me that and I believed her. Truth be told, she was right at the end. So if I were to hear that again, I have little reason not to believe it.
saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I hear you OP. In this case that particular person is either a liar and uses that comment as bait to get sex, or you are not the complete package for them. I would sniff them out first before. I think it's more like I'm not the complete package. Now don't get me wrong I love me and I think I'll make someone very happy hopefully. It just makes me feel horrible when they say that. I mean seriously my genitals are good enough for you but I as a person aren't? Any other rejection I just blow off (excuse the pun lol) if you aren't invested then it should be easy x
kodakgirl Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 What level of rejection are we talking about? If someone just doesn't write back to me online, meh. Three seconds of slight disappointment maybe, that's all. If we had a great first date but he decides against a date two, I will feel pretty disappointed for a few days. It will probably add some fodder to one of my regular breakdowns over being single, but in that case the actual guy will sort of just be a symbolic stand-in so I don't know if that counts. If we've been dating or in a relationship and his rejection seems to come out of nowhere, I will be crushed. I will fall to pieces and cry for weeks and take forever to get over it. I'm not proud of this. I don't really want it to ever happen again. But, yeah, that's how I handle it. So the overall answer is: really badly! I really admire how most of you are able to be okay with it. I'm wayyyy too emotional and sensitive and easily attached and I probably shouldn't date until I've dealt with that.
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