saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 So I'm in the dating game and I'm a little curious if others openly look for the big red flags. I'm talking with someone at the moment on pof - seems pretty nice actually. Although seems to boast about all the good things he does (he is qualified as a gas safety man) and installs heating for elderly people for free, he also says he has property that he rents out (fine no problemo) but he also says he opened a youth club to get kids off the streets however all of this is about a 4 hour drive from his base! He has no profile pictures (hidden) and states he doesn't post them because he like's his privacy - but surely if you are attempting to date looks do matter and if people can't see you they won't message you. - I have seen his pictures though. Also I gave him my number (as I was logging off due to some perv's messaging me) He said he didn't have his phone on him - it was in his office at work. He said oh i'll grab it tomorrow and send you a text - didn't happen then when he popped up online lastnight he said he had left it in his office again I kinda feel like I am picking at things and giving myself reason's to think hey buddy are you too good to be true? He's asked me out on a date, he's also asked me if we get on to go and watch him boxing a few hours away at the end of the month and said he would book us both separate rooms and we would just spend the weekend together. I wish my brain would just shut up and let me carry on getting to know him rather than overthinking it.
PegNosePete Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 You are totally correct to be suspicious of this WEIRD behaviour. I am sorry to say that all evidence points to him being MARRIED. He has no pics in case someone he knows (especially his wife) sees his profile. He doesn't want evidence (number/text/calls) left on his phone or the phone bill because she might find it. He wants to take someone he has never met or even spoken to on the phone, away for the WEEKEND??? That is not normal behaviour, it is "I want an affair" behaviour. Normal people who are looking fo dates, do not do any of those things. Trust your instincts OP. You know something is not right here, that's why you made this post. Drop this joker and find someone you can trust. 7
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) You are totally correct to be suspicious of this WEIRD behaviour. I am sorry to say that all evidence points to him being MARRIED. He has no pics in case someone he knows (especially his wife) sees his profile. He doesn't want evidence (number/text/calls) left on his phone or the phone bill because she might find it. He wants to take someone he has never met or even spoken to on the phone, away for the WEEKEND??? That is not normal behaviour, it is "I want an affair" behaviour. Normal people who are looking fo dates, do not do any of those things. Trust your instincts OP. You know something is not right here, that's why you made this post. Drop this joker and find someone you can trust. Well I'm glad my senses aren't entirely off. He may well not be married however that behavior is certainly not the norm. I have previously unknowingly spoken with married men who literally just vanish when the work day finishes. Although this guy messages me at lunch and after work from 6 until midnight. Hence me not thinking he's married - if I was married and my hubby was sat on the laptop for 6 hours I'd be asking questions. I was beginning to think I was going a little bonkers! Thanks Edited April 1, 2014 by mummyjonno
PegNosePete Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Maybe his wife works nights. Maybe he uses his mobile. Maybe he says he 's working on the home PC. Who knows... but it's highly dodgy. Also, you shouldn't get too attached before meeting. Remember nothing is real until you meet. You've been exchanging how many messages? Normally I exchange between 3 and 8 messages, swap phone numbers and then meet up within a week, or 2 at most. Anything else is just time wasting because you don't even know the guy. He could be using fake pics and profile, he could be a group of giggling schoolgirls, etc. You know nothing until you meet.
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Maybe his wife works nights. Maybe he uses his mobile. Maybe he says he 's working on the home PC. Who knows... but it's highly dodgy. Also, you shouldn't get too attached before meeting. Remember nothing is real until you meet. You've been exchanging how many messages? Normally I exchange between 3 and 8 messages, swap phone numbers and then meet up within a week, or 2 at most. Anything else is just time wasting because you don't even know the guy. He could be using fake pics and profile, he could be a group of giggling schoolgirls, etc. You know nothing until you meet. You are indeed correct!!!! As usual haha! Thank you I appreciate it x
d0nnivain Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I don't go looking for red flags but when I see them, I pay attention to the danger they signal. 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 No profile pic + cell phone unavailable at times = he's probably in a relationship.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Married. In a relationship. Not single. All signs point to it. It's not just you. Something isn't right about this scenario. 2
Babolat Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 So I'm in the dating game and I'm a little curious if others openly look for the big red flags. I'm talking with someone at the moment on pof - seems pretty nice actually. Although seems to boast about all the good things he does (he is qualified as a gas safety man) and installs heating for elderly people for free, he also says he has property that he rents out (fine no problemo) but he also says he opened a youth club to get kids off the streets however all of this is about a 4 hour drive from his base! He has no profile pictures (hidden) and states he doesn't post them because he like's his privacy - but surely if you are attempting to date looks do matter and if people can't see you they won't message you. - I have seen his pictures though. Also I gave him my number (as I was logging off due to some perv's messaging me) He said he didn't have his phone on him - it was in his office at work. He said oh i'll grab it tomorrow and send you a text - didn't happen then when he popped up online lastnight he said he had left it in his office again I kinda feel like I am picking at things and giving myself reason's to think hey buddy are you too good to be true? He's asked me out on a date, he's also asked me if we get on to go and watch him boxing a few hours away at the end of the month and said he would book us both separate rooms and we would just spend the weekend together. I wish my brain would just shut up and let me carry on getting to know him rather than overthinking it. I tend to be suspicious when getting to know someone. The more I read about my personality type I realize some of it is just who I am. I also think some of it comes from past relationships, getting hurt maybe, having trust issues, etc. So IMHO a little suspicion is good. Be careful it's not revealing an underlying emotional issue with you though that you may need help with (counseling).
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 No way that a man that installs free heating for the elderly and does his best to get kids off the streets is a cheater!!
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 I tend to be suspicious when getting to know someone. The more I read about my personality type I realize some of it is just who I am. I also think some of it comes from past relationships, getting hurt maybe, having trust issues, etc. So IMHO a little suspicion is good. Be careful it's not revealing an underlying emotional issue with you though that you may need help with (counseling). Mine is alike, I naturally think hey what's the dealio! My ex cheated on my a long time ago and my most recent (about 8 months ago) was found on match.com while giving me the silent treatment because he failed on promises. So there most likely is the trust issues on top of that but I don't think it's anything major thankfully. His mobile phone isn't out of action it's literally none existent. I handed him my number and all he keeps saying is his phone is here there everywhere but never on his person to text or call me. He's actually not shown up at all this evening this far so probably a blessing in disguise I think. Dating sucks!!! I wish you could take people at face value and not be concerned that there is an agenda. Never mind on to the next chap 1
Hello_is_it_me Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Dating sucks!!! I wish you could take people at face value and not be concerned that there is an agenda. Never mind on to the next chap Well, yeah it would be nice to go through life believing everything you read and see. That sure would make it easy. But naivety will get you in the end (especially with OLD which gives cheaters accessibility to victims). Good for you that you saw the smoke in this one earlier and got out before you could get hurt. 1
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Well, yeah it would be nice to go through life believing everything you read and see. That sure would make it easy. But naivety will get you in the end (especially with OLD which gives cheaters accessibility to victims). Good for you that you saw the smoke in this one earlier and got out before you could get hurt. It would be nice lol. Thank you, right now I think it sucks. However I'm not emotionally invested so I suppose it doesn't matter Thanks for the comments everyone. It's nice to know I'm not quite batty sometimes lol
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 He is absolutely in a relationship. If I were you..I'd just totally forget about him. Trust me..there is ZERO doubt..he's in a relationship. If not, he's not all that interested. Either way..there are better fish in the pond. 3
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 He is absolutely in a relationship. If I were you..I'd just totally forget about him. Trust me..there is ZERO doubt..he's in a relationship. If not, he's not all that interested. Either way..there are better fish in the pond. AGREED!!! Now where'd my net go
TheNewMe2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 what I was shocked about when I did OLD..was how many married people actually DO have their picture up and give out their phone number. SMH. 2
Author saltyfishhead666 Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 what I was shocked about when I did OLD..was how many married people actually DO have their picture up and give out their phone number. SMH. I am nosy and typically run a google search on their username and look them up on Facebook. It's one of the few ways you can find out for yourself before wasting too much time. The amount of guys I've seen in relationships, engaged, married is insane. I don't know why they bother, surely one woman is hard enough on her own haha
HappyLove Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 There's red flags and then there's RED FLAGS! This guy is a big old walking talking RED FLAG! No pics excuses left and right! NEXT!
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