eccofuture Posted January 30, 2005 Posted January 30, 2005 Okay I have a problem. I started being really good friends with this one girl at my collage. One night i need a singer for an acoustic set i was doing and she happened to be a good one so I asked he if she could sing for me. She said she would. We spent lots of time practiceing and talking and began to know each other more and more. We studied together and hung out and acted like best buds. Then one night we went to a concert. I promised to protect her from the mosh pit so i had my arms around her and everything felt right so i started slowly breathing on her neck and wispering in her ear and kissing her shoulder and neck. Eventually we kissed. This is how it all started. She told me she never had a guy make her feel as excited as I did. We kept seeing each other and getting closer and closer and eventually we had sex. Now here is where the problems began. I knew she had broken up with her boyfriend of 3 years about 2 months before me and her got together. She said that I made her completely forget about him and that it would feel like it would take an atomic bomb to get her to notice him again when he talked to her. Yet she invited me to a New Years Party with all her old friends. Of course all these old frineds all Knew him and it wasnt that long since she broke up with him, so i knew that they would have it out for me, but i foolishly went anyway. He wasnt sopposed to go, but he ended up being there. I felt really out of place and wasnt as social as I usually am. I felt like the outsider, while everyone else was having fun. Now i got a theory thatshe compared his behaviour with mine that night because 2 days later she wanted to break up with me...she said that things were going to fast and that she should not have slept with me, that she was confused. Basically all the excuses girls usually give. She all of a sudden started to say i was being pushy with her for sex and stuff, but i wasnt. The worst i ever did was ask her to take a shower with me and after she said no i asked jokingly again She says she wants to be alone, yet she started to spend a lot more time with her ex as "Friends" and also says im her good "Friend". We still cuddle from time to time...but somehow i dont have teh feeling that friends are sopposed to do that. And it kills me that she may be doing the same things with him.....WHAT SHOULD I DO???
SilentPrayer Posted January 31, 2005 Posted January 31, 2005 DONT BE A DOOR MAT! Sounds harsh and a bit over the top but its true. Your letting her walk on you. It doesnt matter how pretty she is or how awesome she is in the sack. Never let someone Control and Manipulize you like that. I know I am a girl, yeah I have played some cruel games before. Until I got my heart broken, then I realized how fragile "relationships" really are to a person. I really think she is with him again. I dont think you should concider this twice. She doesnt seem like the type that can stick to decisions. They were together for a long time. Your new, and can be easily forgotten. Dont sweat it, forget about her. Dont let her feel good about herself! Thats what she is trying to do with you. She doesnt want to feel guilty like she led you along, she will be with you only because of this.
Author eccofuture Posted January 31, 2005 Author Posted January 31, 2005 I dont think im really being that much of a door mat. I mean i havnt talked to her in about 2 weeks and every time we have talked it was her who initiated it, so im getting mixed feelings. I cant just break it off indefinatly: we have classes together. And i wasnt even that much in love with her. I think it might actually be the situation thats making me miss her. Maybe its the primative instinct just to be chosen over the other guy. I'll prob forget about her if i just get a new girlfriend, but i cant stop thinking about the situation. Somehow i want to believe her.. ARGGGGG
imokurnot Posted February 1, 2005 Posted February 1, 2005 You hit it on the head when you said that. That is what got me, it was like a contest for my ex. My friends told me it isn't a basketball game or a sport and I could let her go. That was hard to accept but I am finally realizing it is a waste of time and resources to try and comepet for someone that would make me miserable in the end anyway. Be careful what you wish for I guess. If your not that in love with her consider yourself lucky and move on. Better than having to go theough this 7 yrs into it like me. I wasn't into her in the beginning and in fact tried to break up 3 times only to have her beg me back. Now I am the one hurting and mad and every other emotion I can thnk of. let it go if you can and you will be happier down the road. I hate the feeling you had when you realized she was comparing the two of you that night. That is the worst and when you are uncomfortable and he is with his friends you have no chance. Now you see it and that makes you want to show who you are and let her see what you've got. You were in a tough situation. Nobody can be expected to be on their game in that position. Good luck with whatever you choose.
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