Roses777 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Never had a girl pay for me on a date before! I offered to pay half and she said not to worry. Guess she likes me a lot? She had problems looking at me in the face and offered her cheek at the end fo the date. I was kind of shocked by that so I awkwardly gave her a hug instead. We plan on getting together on Thursday for another meet-up. I am not sure if that is still a date but sure seems like it! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I pay for both when I am not into a guy so he doesn't feel used for money... Everybody is different though. 12
patrol Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I pay for both when I am not into a guy so he doesn't feel used for money... Everybody is different though. My hero. A shy girl paying for me would be the cutest thing ever! 2
scorpiogirl Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I pay for both when I am not into a guy so he doesn't feel used for money... Everybody is different though. I do this too 2
Mo_Do Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Yep, if she pays (or really tries to) its not a good sign. Her other motions don't sit well either... 1
Imported Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 She is trying to trick you! Keep an eye on your used condoms
kaylan Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) A girl paying for her share isnt bad on its own. Its def bad when its accompanied by getting the cheek and a hug when you go for the kiss. That all said, its very odd that she got the whole tab and is also going out with you again. Play it by ear I guess. Edited April 1, 2014 by kaylan 5
Author Roses777 Posted April 2, 2014 Author Posted April 2, 2014 Yeah, it's a weird situation. I guess I'm just a friend to her. I am still on Tinder but she did say that we could hangout on Thursday. It was a very loose arrangement.
confidencestands Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Never had a girl pay for me on a date before! I offered to pay half and she said not to worry. Guess she likes me a lot? She had problems looking at me in the face and offered her cheek at the end fo the date. I was kind of shocked by that so I awkwardly gave her a hug instead. We plan on getting together on Thursday for another meet-up. I am not sure if that is still a date but sure seems like it! Could have simply been to send the message that she isn't obligated to you in any way so she doesn't feel she has to "owe" you something in return but then again she would have let you at least pay your share. Possibly she is needy/clingy. Beware.
Guitarisgood Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 You took her out and contrary to modern beliefs of equality, you're the man. You should have taken the lead. A date even between two uninterested people can be fun and lead to something if you know how to flirt, tease, have fun. It's from their that you take the risk. Girls love that. I would have teasingly turned her face to face me and gone for the kiss. If she returns it, you got your foot in the door. If she turns away, you've planted a seed of interest in her. 1
semco Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 In my opinion if a woman pays on the first date, move on. If she insists on paying for her own, she isnt interested. If she lets you pay then offers to pay the next time you go out, she then is making sure you dont think she is using you for your money. Iam old fashioned like that, if your insistent about paying, I wont be seeing you again anyway. 2
Els Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Do you like her? If you do, since you have plans to get together again, just go for the second date and see how it works out.
PegNosePete Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Yep, if she pays (or really tries to) its not a good sign. What? So a woman who is really into you, really wants to see you again and pays for the date to show just how interested she is..... is a bad sign?
isisisweeping Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Insisting on paying first time out, for me, means I'm not sure that I'll be seeing you again. You may be a "no". You may be a "probably not but maybe another chance" But I'm sure not every girl is the same.
Gaeta Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Last time I paid for the guy was because he had driven across town to meet me and I felt I would at least pay for our coffee and cake. 1
readynow Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I guess we're all different. If I paid for both of us on our first date, it means I feel really sorry for you and i'm never seeing you again in a romantic way. She may really like you though - in an opposite sort of way. 2
Cunning_Linguist Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Either way, whatever her motive, your only option is to take her out (or was she taking you out?) again and try and escalate, see what happens. At the very worst she buys you some drinks again and friendzones you. Maybe she just felt like being nice. Maybe she is some sort of super equality feminist and buys dinners for all the times men have paid in history to even the score lol I've had girls pay for me before and we ended up having sex. It was almost like I was the prize and she wanted to show her value to me. It was a red flag though because of her mindset that money has value, which is something I disagree with.
Phantom888 Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Yep, if she pays (or really tries to) its not a good sign. Her other motions don't sit well either... In my experience, when a girl insists on paying, that means she is NOT interested. She doesn't want the feeling of being swooned by a guy she is not into. However, after a relationship is established, the opposite happens. She really loves you and wants to help pay for activities so you can do more things together. Kinda strange right? 3
seekingpeaceinlove Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I usually pay when the guy is just a friend or if I'm in a relationship. When I'm romantically interested and we're in the dating phase, I let the guy pay and if the connection continues I go all out cooking for him. 1
ThatMan Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 Some women pay on the first when and they're completely uninterested. I guess that certain women do not want to leave behind the impression of using men for a free meal. I would completely forget about the topic entirely if you two go on a second date.
KungFuJoe Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I went out on a first date with a girl once. We went to the movies (hey...I was 18 at the time, what did I know?) and she told me to drop her off in front of the box office so she could check out what movie to watch while I parked. I didn't think much of it, so I did as she asked. I parked, walked over to her and found out she had already paid for both our tickets. I thought that was such a sweet gesture. People are so different in their attitudes and personalities that you can't pin whether or not someone is into you by something as trivial as who pays. BTW, that girl was definitely into me as we ended up together for 4 years. 1
MissBee Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 (edited) If I am not interested I will offer to go dutch to send the signal that this is friendly and not romantic. Once we've been out on multiple dates and are consistently seeing each other I have no problems footing the bill for the both us. If I do it on a first date though, 99% of the time it is because I'm not interested and the gesture is to show that it is more friendly than romantic, whereas if I allow you to pay most likely it's because I figure I will be seeing you again and will have other opportunities to return the favor . Edited April 2, 2014 by MissBee
Babolat Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 (edited) I have never had this happen on an official date, even a first meeting from OLD. I always, always pay, even if they offer. Your original posts suggests to me you were not sure it was a date, though. Maybe she needs clairity, too? As an example, I met an OLD woman 2 Sundays ago for lunch. By her comments alone I can tell she is well off and probably has 5X more money than I do. I paid for lunch, she said "Oh, thank you!". We went to the ballet for our next date. I bought the tickets. We went for a drink afterwards. I bought the drinks. She once again said "Thank you!" She texted me the next day to ask. if she could be so bold, could she take me out for dinner. I liked that. Edited April 2, 2014 by Babolat
Trapito Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I'm from The Netherlands, so for me it is normal to go dutch (I'm a dutchy after all). If I don't like the guy, we both just paid our own share and I don't feel pressured to go on a second date to pay the next time. If I like the guy after a couple of dates I will let him pay for me. The next date I will pay for him.
Babolat Posted April 2, 2014 Posted April 2, 2014 I'm from The Netherlands, so for me it is normal to go dutch (I'm a dutchy after all). If I don't like the guy, we both just paid our own share and I don't feel pressured to go on a second date to pay the next time. If I like the guy after a couple of dates I will let him pay for me. The next date I will pay for him. OP, she paid for both of you, correct? Did you send any kind of message to her that "funds are tight right now" prior to the date, if it was a date? The more I chew on this one, the more I think, she thinks, this is a friends thing. Of course, us not knowing the circumstances that led up to your date.
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