iDrumKing Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I'm about to do something I'm going to regret and I need you guys to talk me out of it. For those who have been keeping up with my story my BU was 2 months ago. I was with my girl for 2 whole years. She broke up out of the blue because of so many damn reasons I couldn't just say one. I was extremely extremely hurt. I was at a very bad bad bad time in my life and she walked out without looking back. Dad lost his job, grandmother past away, etc. Something just didn't make sense guys. How could she do this? I was told today that she is now dating someone new. She was talking to this guy long before the BU obviously. I'm hurt and I'm so furious right now. I want to just call her and just explode. I wanna call her out. I wanna tell her the f'ing pain I've been through. Help me guys :/
elseaacych Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) DO NOT DO IT. It will do nothing for you. Right now, you are the last thing on her mind. If you go charging in there guns a-blazing, all you will do is say something you will likely regret, and SHE WILL THINK LESS OF YOU. Worse, you will think less of you, because you lashed out against someone you love(d). I've had to pull myself back from a couple opportunities to take pot shots at my ex for doing this very thing. I can tell you, it is so hard, but just think of the worst that could go wrong. That will likely be what happens. Please, just go outside, take a quick walk to cool down. Or go do something else. Get your mind off her. Think about it this way, if this is the last time you ever talk to or see her in person, is this what you want her to remember? (This is what I tell myself to talk myself down.) Be the person YOU want to be. The person you want to be likely doesn't want to do stuff like this. DO NOT DO IT. Edited April 1, 2014 by elseaacych
lauri Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Want to get back at her and show her? Don't contact her at all. By you contacting her, you will only give her an ego boost! She won't even care what you are saying, will think you are pathetic and realize she made the "right choice". Guarantee that the honey moon stage with with new guy will die out, she will come to you and reach out to test the waters. When that point happens, if you maintain NC, you will be strong enough to make a decision on how you can react to her. You won't be in control of any of your emotions if you talk to her man...I promise you that it won't go well. As many people say here, best revenge is living well. 1
BDL Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Whenever a guy says his gf broke up with him "out of the blue" it means he was clueless to the signs his ex was screaming at him about all the hurt he has caused in the relationship. She got to the point where she fell out of love and lost the attraction. Before you scream at her for breaking up with you, you should figure out what you did to cause the relationship to sink. Then perhaps you won't be so angry. Then you realize when it comes to love, sometimes letting go without anger is the only way to move forward. Everyone is their own person. She does not owe you anything. You come into a relationship to give, not to take. 3
SCJACK Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Where is Kali when you need her lol... Anyways.. I know how much you want to call her and call her out, I felt the same way sometimes too.. But just remember, what good will it do? Don't stoop down to her level. Be strong buddy. 1
paperwings Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Stay strong and do nothing. Like another poster said, the honeymoon phase will die out. And she will suddenly reappear in your life just as you've made a bit of progress. I'm seeing it myself, right on schedule. Amazing out that works. Our BUs were around the same time. That said, it'll be your choice then on how to deal with it. But you know what to do. Posting here was the first step. Remain calm. 1
Author iDrumKing Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 She doesn't owe you anything, really... I never said she did. My point was she cheated on me.
bluegreen Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hon my head is so full of all day filling up paper work and I have b... of the cramp- pain in my calf but you actually managed to for few moments stun me. You gonna call call her names insult scream cry howl and have the skank's ego hit the ceiling ? Really or you gonna go run out the house find a guy and beat **** out of him? Why ? He is next victim just as you are and if floozies like her prices are so high and deserve such reactions what do decent girls deserve then whole world perhaps? Let it go don't disappoint us
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 You won't disappoint us with anything you do (like mentioned above), but you gotta think it through here. What good is it going to do to call and rant and get mad at her? Yeah, you might feel better for a tad, but it's going to be SO much worse after that. I know the feeling and it sucks hardcore, but you have to calm those before you do anything. You wanted some feedback and it's all the same: DONT DO IT 2
bluegreen Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Yes he will and he is smart enough decent enough to know and recognize that said was not meant in any negative way. If he does he also know and can figure out how to ask privately or openly about it. So kindly do us a favor and if you have something to say 2 me not play defense advocate when your services for such have not even been requested. I am saying this as nice and in as kind way I can What is a use of me here if am not able to say exactly how I feel or mean things. Yes we get happy when we see you guys strive for better we get and heartbroken when we can't help or our help is refused. We also get disappointed we do and am not gonna apologize for it
Trovador Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 This happens because you still have not committed fully to NC, you let other people to tell you things that are not your business anymore... and they tell you stuff because they know you want to hear it... She might be dating three or more men simultaneously and you don't have the ***** right to get angry at her... she wasn't/is your property... Let the past go or the venom of the painful experiences will kill you sooner than later... 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Yes he will and he is smart enough decent enough to know and recognize that said was not meant in any negative way. If he does he also know and can figure out how to ask privately or openly about it. So kindly do us a favor and if you have something to say 2 me not play defense advocate when your services for such have not even been requested. I am saying this as nice and in as kind way I can What is a use of me here if am not able to say exactly how I feel or mean things. Yes we get happy when we see you guys strive for better we get and heartbroken when we can't help or our help is refused. We also get disappointed we do and am not gonna apologize for it Thanks for speaking for all of us. Didnt know we had a mouthpiece. 1
bluegreen Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 I could say same about you so if you are done kindly remember that this is not about you or your opinions on how wrong I am. This post is about this guy who made it and whom we like and care for and trying to do our damn best to help. TX a bunch
Author iDrumKing Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 This happens because you still have not committed fully to NC, you let other people to tell you things that are not your business anymore... and they tell you stuff because they know you want to hear it... She might be dating three or more men simultaneously and you don't have the ***** right to get angry at her... she wasn't/is your property... Let the past go or the venom of the painful experiences will kill you sooner than later... BTW, I didn't do anything. I just went about my night. I've already been through so much pain these past few months that this fuse was short lived. thanks for all of the input. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not here saying she must do this or that. I'm not trying to take custody of her dating this guy or that. It's her life and she does whatever she pleases. Where my hurt/anger is coming from is the fact that she emotionally invested into someone else WHILE we dated. That's as good as cheating to me. I have fully committed to NC. I advocate it just as much as the next guy so I don't want to be a hypocrite. 1
a0009 Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Write down everything you want to say to her in a piece of paper and tear it or burn it. Go to the shower and cry, play loud music and shout loud and call her names you want to call her then resume your normal life. Talk to people The only way to get your revenge is not talking to her and be in NC. work on yourself and success is the best revenge you can give her.
bluegreen Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 And be prepared for more dirty ugly things to come into the light. It happens often enough so conserve your strength energy and dignity for those times. You are doing good we can see that even if you at times doubt it
Trovador Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 BTW, I didn't do anything. I just went about my night. I've already been through so much pain these past few months that this fuse was short lived. thanks for all of the input. Good, my man! Live a life worth of being loved and that's that! 3
bluegreen Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 BTW, I didn't do anything. I just went about my night. I've already been through so much pain these past few months that this fuse was short lived. thanks for all of the input. Good, my man! Live a life worth of being loved and that's that! Good Lad as UK people would say damn just few moments ago I had my eyes blurred by tears cause of suffering of one member and now grin on my face. This is roller coaster for us oldies to 1
Noproblem Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Don't give her the satisfaction to see you in you weakest moment. She won't care, if she did, she wouldn't have left you in the first place...... So, you have to suck it up and come here talk about her badly. better than talking to her... really, it won't really help 1
Poppyolive Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) Arrrghhhhh....so hurtful. I'm sorry. You should definitely not call her out....you know, she knows, she doesn't give a ****e because if she did she would of least told you the honest truth... But deep down or in time when her head is out of the clouds....she'll be sorry. Calling her out although it will feel good to explode it won't get you anywhere and only feed her a wee boost to prove exactly why she left you... One up her and show you don't give a ****e. For yourself take care of your heart, sleep it off, treat yourself to a big fat piece of cake and a tasty beer....she's the loser here....and you could always put **** in a bag outside her door...daily. White with an s....are my hidden words....and in the bag put poo....just in case you think I meant put your dick in the bag Edited April 1, 2014 by Poppyolive 2
Author iDrumKing Posted April 1, 2014 Author Posted April 1, 2014 Thank you for all of the support guys. I genuinely am grateful for it. I think this was THE last puzzle piece I needed to get on with things. If she feels like this guy will make her happier and more comfortable, then more power to her. It just makes me sad that it had to happen this way. Personally I think two people in love is one of the most beautiful things in the world, yet it can bring soooooooo much pain. Whatever... time to rock out, redeem myself, and find me a new honey 4
bluegreen Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 You welcome sweetie :cool:you scared us there for minute but all is good now.
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