terlaughs Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Hi everyone- I met this guy about 6 weeks ago out in NYC… We met through a friend and hit it off instantaneously, hanging out all night (kissing, but nothing else- I didn’t stay with him although he asked me to). We’ve kept in contact, but didn’t see each other.. (Plans fell through, he canceled on me once)… I also had a death in family and cut off contact for a week or so, as to not get too personal with this guy without ever hanging out with him. I reached back out to him and we met up when I was in the city last week. We had a really great night together and he wound up coming to see me (about an hour and a half away) for an actually date. The chemistry is awesome and our date last weekend was great, too. He spent the night and was pretty pushy/wanted to sleep together.. I wasn’t sure, but wound up giving in.. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem as ready as he would’ve liked to be because the sex was basically a fail- he couldn't make it happen. I still had fun, but directly after the unsuccessful attempt on his part he started opening up about past relationships. He also basically said he felt like a jerk for coming out to see me because we didn’t know what “this” was.. (It was a first date). I said I felt something for him and was willing to see it through/happy he came. My friends mentioned he does get a lot of girls and that he was obsessed with the last girl he seriously dated- where he got burned. He apologized profusely about being so pushy and what not. Also saw a text on his phone while he was with me asking if he was in love yet (from a friend regarding our date).. Our mutual connection even told him not to “mess around with family friends” and he said he wasn’t.. and that was to his own male friend. This week he reached out to me once to ask how I am, but not much else. I kept texts light and airy, but am getting no response now. I feel like he’s backing away/kind of used me, but also got the sense that he really was into me and may have his own hesitations.. I understand a guy isn’t going to fall madly in love after a date, and the distance could be an issue, but why go cold on me like that when there is clear chemistry!? I'm not typically like this.. I am attractive, and confident, not a nag or over the top kind of girl.. He even complemented me on the fact that I have myself together. Any advice? If anything, I can chalk it up to a fun time, but wondering if I should anticipate hearing from him.
soccerrprp Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 but why go cold on me like that when there is clear chemistry!? I'm not typically like this.. I am attractive, and confident, terlaughs, i'm pretty positive that clear chemistry can be had from a lot of other people and it does not necessary make a workable relationship. you don't really know much else about him. there's nothing special about hitting it off on the first or second dates. it simply means you enjoyed each other's company and does not translate to long-term relationship. he pressured you into sex and you gave in. RED FLAG. he couldn't make it happen...well, that definitely could not be an ego boost for him since he got you to get naked when you didn't really want to. he may be feeling the sting of that and embarrassed. 1
StanMusial Posted April 1, 2014 Posted April 1, 2014 Chemistry usually includes a properly functioning wiener.
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