Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I feel that part of the reason why my short term relationship with my ex and I fell apart is because she is emotionally unavailable. This is due to a number of factors including her job, an upcoming medical procedure she is having, and past "baggage" from previous relationships. Has anyone had any experiences or relationships with someone in this state? Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Yes, of course. She is emotionally unavailable UNTIL she finds someone who she really likes. then, she'll become super available. The answer for you is to stop looking for excuses: SHE IS NOT THAT INTO YOU. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Yes, of course. She is emotionally unavailable UNTIL she finds someone who she really likes. then, she'll become super available. The answer for you is to stop looking for excuses: SHE IS NOT THAT INTO YOU. This. Sorry OP, but "emotional unavailability" and "commitment phobia" are very much the mythical relationship monster. They're just code for "you're not the one". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elseaacych Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Yes. I was emotionally unavailable at the end of the last relationship due to things being complicated (work wise) on my end. I wanted the relationship, but I didn't communicate. I ended up dumped. Beware. Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Yes. I didn't know it at the time, but reading posts here made me realize that my ex-fiance wasn't afraid of having a marriage, or that he felt like he couldn't justify marriage. He just wasn't into me like I was into him. It really showed in his distance towards the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 All valid points. Thanks for the input. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 This. Sorry OP, but "emotional unavailability" and "commitment phobia" are very much the mythical relationship monster. They're just code for "you're not the one". Exactly. It's so simple as well. I wish I had realised this earlier. Hopefully I am now able to not be 'in denial' if I get another half-hearted guy for my next relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I tried to use the old unavailable excuse to write a narrative of what happened with my last relationship, but it really doesn't matter does it? The person doesn't want to be with you, and the reason doesn't make a bit of difference. Your time is better spent finding someone who does want to be with you. Whatever the problem is, the person isn't committing, so it's time to cut ties and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Doesn't dating an unavailable person make you appreciate good attention from the opposite sex a whole lot more? It's done that for me anyway. I don't just brush off guys who like me anymore. I give them properly serious thought and attention. Another thing is that I no longer chase people who aren't interested (in friends or dating context). I've realised that there's no point chasing what I can't have. It's best taking the best of what's available, and if not, then remaining single until I find something that's right. I still think people should put themselves out there...but there comes a point when you just stop trying. I got the crappy treatment from someone not that into me, and I'm determined not to do that to someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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